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Original poster

Can school force my DS to do detention?

35 replies

purpleroses · 19/03/2012 10:14

DS (12) has been given a detention for not handing in homework. I'm fine with that in principle, but it is after school on a day when he should have a piano lesson (which I've paid for)

Am planning to ring the school to ask if he can do it a different day, but am unsure whether they actually have the right to say no - As a parent can I insist that he leaves at the usual time, or does the school have a right to keep him back if they choose?

OP posts:
Kez100 · 19/03/2012 11:01

It's not too severe. Chances are he got a warning and then still didn't hand it in in time. Even if that is not the case, he knows the rules, and should do detention.

I would try and rescedule piano lesson first. If I couldn't, I would ring school and ask to change detention. If they won't, then so be it. In that case, I would make my son pay for the missed lesson but that is only because his pocket money is linked directly to homeworks and reported effort grades.

pinkbraces · 19/03/2012 10:48

My DD school does allow detention dates to be moved, I think if you give them a call they will be helpful

tabulahrasa · 19/03/2012 10:44

Is it a first offence? Most schools I've been in work on a three strike rule for homework, they get detention after three pieces of homework haven't been completed.

Or occasionally if it was something that they were given lots of time to do - an essay that they were told about a month in advance for instance. Which is not the same as not handing in spelling that was given out a couple of days previously.

PushedToTheEdge · 19/03/2012 10:36

Its not too severe for a first offence.

Silly analogy I know but if a career criminal had a short sharp shock as a punishment for his first offence then perhaps he wouldn't have pushed the boundaries even further later on.

worldgonecrazy · 19/03/2012 10:32

I think it's important that you show a united front with the school - it sets a good example to your son. If the piano teacher won't/can't move, and the school say no to moving the detention, then I would deduct the cost of the piano lesson from pocket money.

Homework isn't optional - what would happen in the real world if projects weren't handed in or completed on time? In most cases there would be a penalty to pay, either in terms of damaged reputation, or liability clauses. It's a harsh lesson but a good one to learn early.

Original poster
purpleroses · 19/03/2012 10:27

Thanks - no I don't want to come down to fighting the school over it. Do think it's a bit steep for a first offence (I think) but think that it's not so OTT that I'm not prepared to back the school in principle. It's just that I wondered what the bottom line was - can I refuse to let him do it on the piano day if I want?

Yes, might see if the piano teacher can shift - worth a try.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 19/03/2012 10:26

They can't forcibly keep him for detention anyway, though if he just didn't turn up he'd get further sanctions.

If you get in touch saying, I'm fine with him having detention, he should have done his homework but can I have a different day as he has a piano lesson? I can't see any reason why they wouldn't agree.

PushedToTheEdge · 19/03/2012 10:22

Unless you know different, schools tend to be reasonable about things in general if it is for educational stuff like music lesson. Or you can simply get the piano lesson recheduled.

If neither is an option, well the school isn't going to lock the class room door on your DS or send the Child Catcher to your house :) Its just a question of whether you want to thumb your nose at the school.

PurplePidjin · 19/03/2012 10:19

Surely the best option would be to ask the piano teacher to move the lesson, so that your son gets the consequences of his actions? My music teachers would have given my an additional talking to about getting dt in the first place so it might work in your favour!

Hebiegebies · 19/03/2012 10:17

Is it a first offence? If so its rather harsh.

Have a look on the school web site, it will explain it all.

Think that if it is not first time homework has not been handed in then you need to back the school and miss out on piano, kids have to learn. You can dock the money from pocket money