Recommendations for co-ed boarding schools

They do have a proper lunch but supper/dinner is not good.

Ohmygosh, you're post on the previous page confirmed that Oundle would be fantastic for her.

at Past Grace - she put it better than I did

at "Uppingham Hair". I don't know any girls from other schools, so I don't know how it's different, but the Uppingham girls I know tend to have long hair, sometimes slightly bird-nesty. The ones with short hair stand out.

Good thought from goinggetstough about sport and making sure that the right ones are on offer.

And putthatcatout is right about finding the right school for you/DD. We looked at quite a lot of schools, and in our case Uppingham was the right school for DC (despite not fitting into the parent demographic described upthread ). It won't be the right school for other DCs for all sorts of reasons, just like other schools mentioned here weren't - in our view - the right school for our DC. We can all give you pointers based on our DCs and our (subjective) experiences of different schools (several DCs have left Uppingham since my DC started for various reasons, others have found it hard to settle/make the jump from prep, so their parents will probably have different views to mine about whether it was the right school for their DC).

When looking at schools, one of my criteria (and I had many others too) was thinking about whether I would want my DC turning out like one of the puplis who showed us around, assuming that the school would be wheeling out their brightest and best.

It just goes HUGE! Public school hair is often fairly big anyway, but Uppingham hair is a whole new league. Again though, that is a huge generalisation.

No sausage rolls and beans that I know of for dinner, although certainly at Oundle the bigger meal is generally lunch and dinner, although hot, will be a bit lighter. So lunch might be something like shepherd's pie and dinner would be more along the lines of ravioli with tomato sauce. Lunch has a hot pudding and dinner has a cold cake-y option (flapjack or similar). Always fruit and yoghurt pudding options too, as well as salad and toast/spreads at dinner to supplement/replace the main option.

ohmygosh just a thought as your DD is sporty do check what sports they play especially in the winter. Some girls schools give them a chance to play on lacrosse and hockey and netball teams. At others you have to pick a winter sport. If you choose a lacrosse playing school and your DD is very competitive and wants to play on the lacrosse team but hasn't played at prep school it can be difficult to break into teams which have been formed since age 11. Schools like Wycombe Abbey, CLC and Downe House do have hockey teams but are known for the strength of their lacrosse. However, DH definitely support and encourage their hockey players. They have had hockey players in the county teams and tier 1 teams in the past few years.
Food at all the above according to my DD who has eaten there is fine.

which schools are on your current list, ohmygosh, of those discussed here (or others)?

Yes Colleger that's exactly the kind of thing I'm familiar with too. I find it absolutely shocking considering the fees. Not to mention just plain unhealthy.

My son has appalling dinners - beans and sausage rolls. I wouldn't feed that at home, so unhealthy.

Actually I think 'loads' is an exaggeration. But more than 5!

Loads of boarding schools eat in-house. Rugby and Repton too, off the top of my head, and surely many more? IME the quality of dinner is a problem more often than lunch. I have seen and heard of some shockingly poor quality meals. It does seem to be an issue across schools.

Why?

Super selective boarding schools are great, I'm not as convinced about super selective day schools though...

IME the excellent things about super selective is that being really clever and academically ambitious is the norm and the bar is set very high and gives the very bright highly motivated child something to work hard and aim for. The environment is always intellectually stimulating in particular many of the extra activities that are organised which are likely to be well attended. There?s nothing more exciting than being amongst the very best as an ex. horse rider I loved watching and training alongside some of the best riders in the world (although I completely lacked their ability) and I?m sure musicians and artists etc. would say the same. Maybe I'm just a bit odd (dont answer that colleger) but I find it?s the same in academia to sit and just listen to the top people in a particular field is just so exciting.
I think you will find that the ?more able? still assist the ?less able even in these places.

Meals at Oundle are generally in house. The girls all eat in house, as do most of the boys, but a few of the boys' houses share a dining room. If I remember correctly, 2 of the town houses share a dining room, and the field houses share a dining room. The food in girls' houses was generally considered to be better than in boys' houses when I was there (about 5 years ago).

I'd have hated to have a big canteen, although I take the point about consistency. In house dining is much nicer, especially at breakfast.

In terms of being selective, I don't think schools that aren't super selective are a bad thing - they can be less selective overall without being less academic. One of the nice things about Oundle (and I'm sure it goes for other less selective schools) was that you can't live in an ivory tower surrounded by other 13 year olds fluent in Latin/Ancient Greek/18 other languages and with a GCSE in maths at the age of 5. There were very, very clever people there, but there were also people who weren't so bright. I think it's quite unhealthy to grow up in a hot-house type school - you can't always be the best at something, and you will sometimes have to help people who are less clever than you. Doesn't hurt to experience that earlier on.

A nice illustration of this that I can think of - for GCSE study leave one of the girls who really understood her subject would go through past papers with another girl in house who struggled a bit. The girl who could do it enjoyed helping her, and it gave her valuable exam practice. The girl who struggled enjoyed having a friend helping her and explaining it in terms she could understand. The staff are there to help too, of course they are, but sometimes things are better coming from friends.

Special diets are probably better catered for with in house dinning, the fussy are probably better served with canteen style dinning as there is choice. It?s also worth remembering that every boarding school I've ever looked at also has some sort of catering arrangement in the house even if its just a kettle for those loathsome pot noodles and a toaster.

Sorry I only got to page three but I really had to post.

This kind of thread really does irritate me. People judging schools on how many As the pupils get, who the parents are and what cars they drive. Surely you should be looking round the schools you and* your DD like and seeing what they offer and whether you feel it's right for you.

This whole thing about 'academic' schools really annoys me too. DD went to a horrible school because it was 'academic'. She stayed until year 9, went to a non academic school and is now on the way to As and A*s at GCSE. If anything the environment she was at was detrimental as you felt intimidated by the immensely bright children. Only a confident child could flourish in that environment and that wasn't my DD. DD's school also offered a wide variety of after school activities but the reality was that no one could enjoy them as they had such a tough workload.

The fact that a school gets good results is also not necessarily a reflection on the school. If they're only getting bright students surely they will be getting good grades? So what I'm trying to say is that if you have a very bright, outgoing daughter then a very academic school is good. If she is shy or not quite the best then there is a chance she could feel belittled (talking from DD's experience here).

Also don't get hung up about Oxbridge applicants. Look at all top universities. Again I'm only saying this as at DD's school there are more students going to Imperial, UCL and LSE than to Oxbridge and they've actually had higher offers.

Sorry that's all very negative, good luck with the search.

The problem is with the admissions process. It happens too early. We chose IH when DS was 10 because of his personality. Now he would thrive, and probably enjoy more, with canteen dining. A choice of three meals as well with canteen and going up for seconds. Oh well, at least he will develop a wide and unfussy pallet!

My DH is a fan of canteen dining as always going back to base doesn't foster the social side of boarding so much in his opinion! We spend so much time choosing a school, choosing a house and housemaster, but the peer group in house is not known until day1! Dining out of house gives a chance to mix more broadly with the year group.

Surely more than five schools in the country have this arrangement?

One of the HM at WC had a great idea. He had a massive (and I mean at least 80 apples) fruit basket in the common room. He said boys rarely bought or ate fruit during meal times but if there was a bowl lying around they would pick at it.

At the risk of pointing out the obvious it can only be the case in schools with this dinning arrangement all five of them and as I've already said Tonbridge's food is decided and maybe even cooked centrally. I cant comment on the others.
I dont know if in house dinning is a pastoral care issue. We love it but I wonder if we look at it through adult eyes? It definitely promotes a housecentric ethos which I believe is essential for full boarders but perhaps we read more into it than there is. I don't know the answer to this just musing.

But that's the point, many boys end up being hungry because they don't get fed enough. Food aside I'm in two minds about in-house v canteen. There is the pastoral intimate side to IH but there may be more social time spent in a canteen. Who knows, we don't have the choice now so I'll just need to keep an eye on DS consumption.