Recommendations for co-ed boarding schools

Just don't like Xboxes or computer games at home or school. Nokissymum is right my DS spends most of his non lesson/prep time participating in one of the many activities the school offers. Those computer games IMO are like TV they stop people communicating with each other. Boarding is about communal living those games are a barrier to communal living but then maybe I'm just out of touch with 21 century living!

XLII - been following this thread . From the indies i've visited the way the boarders spend their weekends is quite different from what you would do at home, most likely there will be lots of games for the better part of saturday. Then perhaps an outing on sunday after chapel etc.

One school in particular stressed during the tour " if xbox is dc best friend then this is NOT the school for him/her. They keep the students very busy, so that any down time is likely to be spent sleeping or just relaxing. There will be very little time for computer games im afraid.

And where we are we have no option but for them to board which is why I think a homely environment is so important.

If your DC was a full boarder you would ban things he would normally do at the weekend? Personally I would have thought a respectful environment would be a given and that to a teenager the physical things like a pet to cuddle when you're upset or a game to play when you wanted some downtime would be just as important. Obviously not everyone has the same criteria but I would hate for my DC to still feel like they were still in the formal environment of school at the weekends when they should be relaxing.

This is what my DS has currently that is what boarding is all about if it was like home why send him He could be a day boy.

But it's not home it's school its completely different IMO. I want him to be in a very stimulating environment where he feels able to be himself pursue the things that interest him and have the camaraderie of 60 like minded individuals. A place where if he wants advise support help at any stage in his education there are committed experienced and knowledgable people who are there for him. That the housemaster in over all charge is fair and does not discriminate on the grounds of ability money or nationality and promotes this ethos throughout the house and where the concept of respect for all regardless of who they are is all pervaiding. Where success is acknowledged and failure also recognised and addressed in a constructive way. Nice food single rooms pets etc don't guarantee any of this. And as for Xboxes and computer games if I had my way I'd ban the bloody things from a boarding house.

happy as well as a nice ethos surely you want things that make your DC feel at home? In my son's case that's the Xbox and in the OP's DD's it is pets. Those things to make you feel at home are equally important to the ethos IMO.

Thats DC not SC.

So you all want a housemaster/mistress with pets (maybe children as well?) Xbox and FIFA warm comfortable beds lovely loos and bathrooms organic food cooked by either a French or Italian thats the equivalent to a 5 * hotel and 30%+ Oxbridge entry/super selective and flexibility to vistit take your SC out for tea but also full boarding. I think you need to wake up schools whether boarding or are about the wider picture. Its the general ethos you want to discover and will it work for your DC not food and pets. Im sorry if that sounds hard but that is the truth.

Hope you don't mind me butting in although my dcs are at the village primary (in Rutland) at the moment so it's not really an issue with me yet. You mentioned you would not discount single sex schools. Well although my sister went to Oakham and most of my cousins went to Uppingham, Oundle and Wellingborough, I myself went to Stamford High School. It's all girls, but the boys school (Stamford School) and the high school now join up for most lessons at GCSE and Alevels. It's quite different to when I was there in the 80s. Stamford is also a bigger and much more vibrant town than Oakham, Uppingham and Oundle if that is important to you as your DCs grow up.

Bromsgrove!

OMG we're looking for our DTs (DD and DS) so ideally we want coed but two single sexes very close to each other wouldn't be discounted. Like you in North Yorkshire (although I see you're also looking around London and none of the suggestions are actually in North Yorkshire!).

I know what you mean about requirements that make the list that bit longer - DS is refusing to consider schools without an Xbox (and FIFA!) in the boarding house :)

After reading all the various threads on MN I'm hoping that my ds's headmaster will have a good idea of where ds should go and that I'll be realistic enough to follow his advice. Although as of last week ds does have a confirmed place on the waiting list at Radley so I hope that's an option.

ohmygosh123 what entry year are you looking at?

Awinawin said "housemistress/master preferably with a pet"!
"I'm starting to think I'm asking alot

"Food isn't at the top of my list - but I think the kids should have a homely environment and be well cared for, otherwise I wouldn't feel comfortable sending her there. So yes, I do want her to have a decent (comfortable) bed, somewhere she feels comfortable washing in, a friendly housemistress/master preferably with a pet etc. And the school needs to stretch her academically hopefully to get her to Oxbridge or equivalent, encourage curiosity, and allow her to keep playing sport and doing music, oh and have great pastoral care. I'm starting to think I'm asking alot - but I'll be paying them nearly £30k a year FGS."

I would hope any indie worth its salt would provide all that and more tbh.

and OP, apologies if someone has suggested this already, but don't discount single sex education. Oldest dd is at single sex indie and loves it - very very sporty and outside all the time it seems.

Very popular here - not for us as we prefer single sex secondary (partic. for girls) but Bryanston has a v good reputation locally.

Bryanston is not always popular with MNetters but we've a friend with a DS whose recently started there and they are really pleased with it. Lots of the negative comments written are certainly not what they experience.

Bryanston

OP and Trix there is a mother whose posted on the Rugby School posting who seems to also have children at some of those mentioned above perhaps you could PM her for insight into them.

Happy, I have found several of your insights - both those especially for me and those that you have posted to others and in the past - very helpful indeed.

The Admissions Office at Harrow has been brilliant throughout. I have also read on MN that the people there are not helpful, but that hasn't been my experience at all. Quite the opposite - I have found them helpful, responsive and efficient.

I'm not trying to be unhelpful in fact the complete opposite but I do really believe that if a school is 2.5 hours from your house and assuming like most of us you lead a busy life; work, other DCs at different schools, friends, pets, your own hobbies etc then I doubt you will attend that many school activities. We have friends a similar distance to their DS school but no flight in the first two terms they've attended the school twice that was to drop him off at the beginning of each term. But the positive thing (or not!) is that this opens up more schools. Although I will also add that we had a 4.5 hour journey to the prep and it really is not doable.
I believe its Harrow who you are holding out for a place, I wold suggest you spoke to them to find out what are the chances but I understand from MN that they are not overly helpful. What does your prep head think the chances of you getting a place are what do other MNetters think? Are You looking for 2013?
One final point if you chose a school and send your DS and he hates it its not necessarily the end of the world. We know of at least five children who moved from one over subscribed big name to another in the last few years so I think there is often movement after a couple of terms.

Trix123 I think you are over analysing this

Perhaps. I just want to know what I am getting for the 150K that I am about to commit, and to be sure I haven't overlooked a school that would be great for DS.

happy about your summary of marketing spiel from Uppingham-Oundel-KC-Oakham - yes, the messages all blur into one after some time. One registrar sent me a video with a plea to me to look at it - I didn't even feel I needed to watch it, having seen the marketing videos from two other schools.

As I cannot visit many schools, I have to go on reputation and recommendation, and to glean insights on stuff that matters to me from those that know.

Happy I really appreciate all the comments from you and the other education gurus. In your latest post above, you mention 1.5 hours as a good criteria - I appreciate your thought that distance is an important criterion and it strenghtens my idea of holding out for an offer from our first choice of school, which would be 2.5 hours from our house (including short flight) rather than 4.5 hours to the alternative school.

As for the food thoughts, well, the OP asked for ideas on how she could tell in advance whether the food would be good. Good food itself should not necessarily part of the decision in selecting a school, although eating IH rather than cafeteria style might be.

have a look at Woodbridge, St felix & Framlingham College. All have boarders & excellent sporting facilties.
I have only ahd first hand dealings with Woodbridge & the pastoral care & ethos of the school is fantastic.
The headmaster is a lovely man who really knows his stuff.
I only know day pupils at St Felix & fram, the one at Stfelix went there becuase of the sporting links, Fram does seem to loose a few at 6th form either to the local state 6th form (has a fantastic reputation) or other private 6 forms. Maybe they all shuffle around a bit then. x