How many people let their child choose their secondary school preferences?

We got our shortlist down to two schools, got offered places at both and were happy for DD1 to choose. She wouldn't! We went through all the pros and cons of each but ended up choosing for her at the last minute.

DD2 got the same choice of schools, and had a very strong preference - which changed every few months lol. In the end she picked the same school DD1 was already at.

We let DD1 choose - but we'd already told her we had the final say. The school she liked most has a difficult commute (25 minute walk to the station, 25 minute train ride, 15 minute walk to the school), which was obviously a big negative. We actually made her do a trial run before allowing it as her first choice.

By the 1 March, I was beginning to hope she didn't get her first choice - but she did, and is looking forward to starting secondary school immensely.

Hmm. Well, not exactly.

DC1 went to the only school with a suitable SEN unit, though he wasn't happy about it at first. He's flourished.

DC2 went to the school that the bus goes to. We didn't offer him a choice; it's Ofsted Outstanding, people move to get into catchment, blah blah. After a couple of terms it was so obvious this was the wrong school that we moved him to a less outstanding school but kinder school elsewhere (and are now stuck with a mad combination of driving, cycling and liftshares to manage it).

DC3 will get to choose, within reason, being such a different character from the other two.

Not much help, I'm afraid, except to say matching the school to the child does make a huge difference. I know that parental input is supposed to make an even bigger difference, but we were firefighting rather than supporting while DC2 was at the (unpredictably) 'wrong' school.

I visited all the schools and took my son only to ones I would be happy he went to. That way he felt he had an element of choice but really we had done some preselection. We chose the order on the CAF form, he wanted to go to a different school with his best friend but it wasn't the best school for him so although that went on the CAF it was 4th. We luckily got our first choice and he is quite happy about it. My view is that we are the adults who can make hopefully well rounded decisions whereas 10 yr olds can't see the whole picture. Whole thing ridiculously stressful though.

MrsJ
TBH we drew up a list of schools we thought would be good. Went round and saw them & in the end chose school where DC said "I want to go here " (Not btw the one I would have said I wanted at one point ) but DC is happy I am truly delighted he is there . It is a fantastic school.

We were lucky and had a choice. I reckon it's a balance but I do believe the best thing is if the child positively wants to go to the school. I also think if you do have a choice it is better for parents to use their judgement and give DCs choices where frankly the worst that could happen is not that bad.

Sorry if that is not too clear or a bit sitty on on fency
SM