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Original poster

DS not enjoying school and am thinking of moving him, where to though?

67 replies

PutThatCatOutNow · 26/01/2012 18:37

DS is currently at the local school and is really not enjoying himself. He's in year seven at the moment so we were wondering, do you know of any boarding schools with good pastoral care which are likely to have an intake at year 8? Our local private school is Yarm School so that is also a possibility. We're considering full boarding as well so could go to most areas in the country as long as they are on a good train route. He's musial and is into drama so we want to take that into consideration, too.

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Original poster
PutThatCatOutNow · 29/01/2012 13:55

Well they found the trumpet in another boy's locker. This other boy claimed that my DS had put the trumpet their for safe keeping (!) and the school believed it even though my DS denied it. Re the bullying, all they have said to DS is to ignore the boys that are bullying him, although this is easier said than done when they are in the same form and the school is refusing to move either on of them.

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seeker · 29/01/2012 13:44

Moving him might well be a option- but I would push really hard to get something done about the situation qt the school he is now. Even if he does move, he will feel better if the issues he is facing now are properly addressed.

What have the school done about the stolen trumpet and the bullying?

Original poster
PutThatCatOutNow · 29/01/2012 13:35

He's scared to speak in class, was bullied when he joined the drama club so eventually stopped going (drama is his passion) and has had his trumpet stolen when he took it in for band, so has now stopped going to that as well. He hasn't made friends and there have been some bullying problems which the school haven't addressed. DS has been so miserable he barely leaves the house now, which is very unlike him. Out of his year of 12 at primary, they've all gone to different shools and he is very intimidated by the others in his year. At this point he just feels that a fresh start would be for the best.

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sue52 · 29/01/2012 13:18

Why is he not enjoying school at the moment? Has he only been there since September? I would make sure I understood and address what the problems are with his current school before I took such a major step.

seeker · 29/01/2012 13:15

If you want a non competitive school, I would avoid most of the public schools suggested, to be honest.

What is making him unhappy?

Original poster
PutThatCatOutNow · 29/01/2012 13:12

Sorry, RL has been a bit manic recently! We want a school where he can be himself without being intimidated/put down by others. So somewhere that isn't a really competitive environment. Would somewhere like Sedbergh be like that or is it very competitive?

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Ceebeejay · 27/01/2012 12:55

Should add that most of the public schools have a junior section. I agree totally with EdithWeston btw Smile

Ceebeejay · 27/01/2012 12:52

As most of the public schools have their main intake in year 9 you will be in the majority then. I know my dd is joining the junior section at Sedbergh moving to main school in 2 years. If you move your son into year 8 of the junior school he will at least have the chance to get to know some of the children there ready for when they move en masse at year 9 with all the other new children.

EdithWeston · 26/01/2012 22:23

I'd be surprised if any schools had a major year 8 intake, so you might have to consider a school with a strong reputation for pastoral care who are convincing about how they would integrate an ad hoc arrival into an existing community.

What sort of boy is DS, and what you both you and he be looking for in the next school?

Colleger · 26/01/2012 21:17

I think there are probably quite a few schools: Sedbergh, Stonyhurst, Merchistoun, Glenalmond, Fettes, Gordonstoun, Oakham, Greshams, Cheltenham College, Dean Close. Dean Close is very good for music, Wells Cathedral School, Kings Canterbury?

powderfreak · 26/01/2012 20:25

Stonyhurst is a good option

Ceebeejay · 26/01/2012 20:22

Should add she is year 6 atm going into year 7 in September Smile

Ceebeejay · 26/01/2012 20:21

Look at Sedbergh School - my dd is starting in September and we were incredibly impressed with the school. My dd is very bright and very into drama and sport but I know the school is incredibly strong musically. The pastoral care is wonderful.

happygardening · 26/01/2012 20:00

Seven years of boarding and I've learnt that if you want full boarding then you need to be in a full boarding school because if not you will find that the vast majority go home a large part of the weekend and you DS will be left with just a couple of others.
I would also strongly advise you to choose a school within sensible driving distance unless you list driving as your main hobby have nothing to do all day or own a helicopter particularly as your DS is into drama and music; you are likely to want to attend any thing he's in. From personal experience 1 1/2 hourssome way Is far enough Ive just done it this afternoon to watch a sport fixture that was cancelled. Any further just becomes a pain in the backside. The only school I know of in you area is Ampleforth although am not sure about what types of boarding they offer although friends who have five there are definitely full boarding. It has a high standard of pastoral care and takes all sorts but you obviously need to be cool with the RC thing.

Original poster
PutThatCatOutNow · 26/01/2012 19:43

Oh and it doesn't have to be a full boarding school, but we want somewhere where he can board fully.

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Original poster
PutThatCatOutNow · 26/01/2012 19:42

We're in North Yorkshire, near Middlesbrough (sort of). We're also looking at Edinburgh as it's on the east coast mainline. I just want somewhere that he can be happy. He is academic, although that is within a comp so it is hard to tell quite how so as they don't set.

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happygardening · 26/01/2012 19:12

Proper full boarding schools with no weekly/flexi/day children are few and far between. Thise that do exist generally take at yr 9.
Where do you live and how academic is he?