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Original poster

Downsizing to educate privately - any pearls?

183 replies

Tiredbutstanding · 19/01/2012 23:36

Here's my (sorry, long) dilemma- do I sell up to go private for secondary or not?

We have attended our school for 3 years. Eldest DD is Y4, and there is STILL no weekly or bi-weekly academic homework and definitely NO maths written sheets. We get 30 mins every 2-3 weeks - mostly to look something up on the internet, and write a few paragraphs. Our 'homework' for this TWO WEEK PERIOD is to cut out a hut from a pattern, and stick some foliage on it for a class project. I kid you not.

My DD has needed extra maths this year as she has gaps in yr 2 and 3 maths which were not spotted until year 4 (along with many other children). We now have a tutor to assist.

I have met with/written to, the head, governors etc, to ask for voluntary homework - to no avail. Subsequently ....as the school does not seem to respect homework, neither do my children!! So when it lands, it is a BATTLE to get them to do it. The first attempt is AWFUL and worries me incredibly that this is what they actually produce at school. Yet when 'encouraged' they do a really good job, and the work is of a high standard. (We do now of course do our own homework to make up the shortfall but as it is 'mum' making them do it, and not the school, it is perceived as less valid and even 'unfair/unnecessary').

Why I don't pull them out and go elsewhere?...because we had SUCH a horrendous time when we moved 3 years ago. Also, to be fair to the Head, the year 6 results for the school are good and he says to 'have faith'. It is true that their maths results were 100% Level 4 maths, and about 50% Level 5. So a small miracle may happen - hence we'll stay at this school and do our best for them via home learning.

But for secondary - should we sell the house, and downsize to go private (to a non selective private school). I fear that this LACK of self discipline (that the school is, if not engendering, at least not preventing) is potentially going to fail both DD's at secondary- just when you need to be well motivated to flourish amongst 30 per class, and 8 classes of 30 per year.....

Should say here that if we go private the current lifestyle will have to go too (like many parents). (I went private as my parents knew I was a lazy monkey and I can see the same in my kids!! However it forced me to work hard and later gain a good career......and I've been eternally grateful for this.

Any pearls for me?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 26/01/2012 16:34

If you read articles you will find that competition is increasing, those who would have used private education are pinning their hopes on grammar schools in the economic downturn.

exoticfruits · 26/01/2012 16:24

Being curious I looked and think that I can guess where you live. The pass mark was 232 for last year but it was 353 for the year before, in fact the lowest before 2011 was 341 marks. Last year there were 13 applications for each place. Therefore I would assume that you would have to do more than write your name! It means that you average primary school could hope to get no more than 1-2 DCs per class (assuming it is boys) and similar for girls only they seemed to be luckier with a pass mark of 222 (again down by over a 100 marks from usual and only 9-10 pupils per place)

Heswall · 26/01/2012 16:20

It's no secrete at all, but as I say you'll struggle to find full time employment paying above min wage.

exoticfruits · 26/01/2012 15:49

I should keep it secret then-you must be the only pocket of UK.

Heswall · 26/01/2012 15:44

Yes I live in the UK, you both spectacularly miss the point here, there are more places available than children to fill them.
No jobs like but the education system seems ok once you get past 11+

exoticfruits · 26/01/2012 15:16

I wouldn't say that was normal, it wouldn't have got you in on appeal in my area.
I know people who have employed a solicitor on appeal and it hasn't got them anywhere.
I know that the appeal panel have many sob stories and actually have mothers crying-it doesn't get them a place.
I am no longer in an 11+ area but I would be furious if someone with less marks than my DS got a place because of a divorce 4 yrs before. We could all go down that road and where would it end? Would my DS's father dying trump a divorce?! Madness-most of us don't mention it.
I can see that you could perhaps use trauma on the week, or even month, of the exam but I would expect them to get a retest-not a place.'

I haven't come across the attitude that you don't need education and exams because you don't need a job! Who are these people-Russian oligarchs?!

seeker · 26/01/2012 13:43

Do you not live in the UK, then?

Heswall · 26/01/2012 11:21

I know all this because the woman lives next door to me and I have been friends with her for 15 years.

seeker · 26/01/2012 11:06

"Children have failed and got in on appeal with a letter from their head teacher siting parents divorce 4 years earlier being the reason for failure, pressure due to bullying in the heads own school with the child still in attendence so it couldn't be that bloody bad."

How do you know this? Because this would not hqppen in any 11+ area I know of. It sounds like Chinese Whispers to me!

Heswall · 26/01/2012 11:04

Children have failed and got in on appeal with a letter from their head teacher siting parents divorce 4 years earlier being the reason for failure, pressure due to bullying in the heads own school with the child still in attendence so it couldn't be that bloody bad.
Nobdody has moved here in droves, we've a massively aging population and the highest unemployment in graduates in the country. Combined with London house prices. Not sure what the future holds tbh.

Jajas · 26/01/2012 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 26/01/2012 10:23

Wow- where do you live, heswall? 1890?

exoticfruits · 26/01/2012 09:27

Goodness knows where you live-I would keep it a secret or people will be moving there in droves!!

You seem to miss the point that the pass mark will change. Say there are 90 places on entry for year 7. Generally 232marks gets you a place-one year there are still 10 places free and so they go further down the list -as far as 216marks. Next year it could be completely different-they are a very bright year and they fill up the 90 places without having to go below 245marks so anyone below can't get a place.

Some DC will have taken the exam and the parents decided against the place for some reason, maybe they got a scholarship to a private school, maybe they decided on private, maybe they moved away or maybe they always wanted comprehensive but were curious-a whole host of reasons are possible. Those places then become free so can be offered the next highest marks on the list.

It isn't going to work as an appeal unless you can show that it was incorrectly marked or there was something wrong with the test. They can't manufacture places or give the place to the DC with 240 marks when it has already been accepted by the one with 242marks.

When I failed the 11+ my marks would have got me a place in the next town-it was irrelevant-it didn't get me a place in my town.

ironically the local well to do send their children to the grammars because they don't actually need the exam results or education

I would love to know where you live. I live in a very affluent area and I have never come across this attitude-it sounds like something from the early 20th century!

racingheart · 26/01/2012 08:59

jajas - there's no harm in having a positive attitude.

Jajas · 26/01/2012 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heswall · 25/01/2012 22:40

I don't think anyone discusses the matter with the children severnofnine.

Heswall · 25/01/2012 22:39

I should add that child has struggled ever since and will do well to pass enough GCSE's to go on to 6th form but ironically the local well to do send their children to the grammars because they don't actually need the exam results or education but it's nice to talk about the school at dinner. The peasants like myself sell vital organs for private because they know the DC's will have to have jobs/careers.

severnofnine · 25/01/2012 22:37

and I should add if YOU want to sacrifice stuff to give your children a private education then go for it but don't give your children the burden of them deciding whether they should go to a posh house or if the family should have posh holidays..... you may as well put the money away for therapy sessions for them when they grow up with ishoos now

Heswall · 25/01/2012 22:36

Exoticfruits and Seeker, it's very very different up here, the pass mark is 232 and I have known children with 216 get places.
If you can write your name you are in some years it would seem.
I have a 50% success rate in my house and the best has yet to come, nothing to worry about believe me.

severnofnine · 25/01/2012 22:34

OP you do realise that it isnt homework for you dont you... it isnt "OUR homework" it is your DD's

and surely the fastest way to turn your children off learning is to make it compulsory and battle them to do homework you have set!

If they like writing stories let them.... If they like reading get a good book from the library ..... if they like maths write some sums out .... but FFS if they are 10 and tired after school let them sit and watch a dvd or play on the internet!!

ElaineReese · 25/01/2012 22:30

Christ but I'm glad we don't have the 11+ here!

seeker · 25/01/2012 22:30

Heswall- have your children actually passed?

seeker · 25/01/2012 22:29

Nope. I hqve known people get in unexpectedly- but never on appeal. Practically noone gets in on appeal!

exoticfruits · 25/01/2012 22:28

sorry again-when some were not. Time to go to bed I think!

exoticfruits · 25/01/2012 22:27

sorry-known