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Secondary education

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school refusal

77 replies

rainsuncloud · 13/01/2012 22:57

My DS started secondary school in September, was ok for first term, but then they changed some classes around and he wasn't with anyone he knew, he has as and found the change very hard to deal with. Since then his anxiety has become very bad and he doesn't trust the Teachers as they keep saying things to help him, but arn't totally true, or doesn't happen. He is now petrified of school and feels he doesn't have any friends and that no one likes him, he has been off a lot, due to not being able to phsicially get him into school. He gets hysterical and has panic attacks and gets himself in such a state and is shaking all over. He has been forced into school and the Sen teachers were helping, but have now been told not to help force him in, as they literally had to help me get him out of the car. I have seen a doctor and he has been referred to Camhs. DS wants to be home schooled, but I am unsure and nearly everyone I speak to is against it. Any one got any suggestions to help please. The Teachers do say that he is ok once he is in school, but he says he is still petrified, but just has to put up with it and shakes through some of the lessons.

OP posts:
Saracen · 14/01/2012 01:50

(Hugs) What an awful situation for you and your son.

I don't have any experience of your situation, but have met a number of people who home educate who are glad they removed their school refusing children from school. The people you've spoken to who are against home ed - do they have any actual experience of home education, or any research to back up the idea that it's wrong in this situation? Or are they just speculating?

Mike Fortune-Wood wrote a very interesting book called "Can't Go Won't Go: An Alternative Approach to School Refusal" www.amazon.co.uk/Cant-Go-Wont-Alternative-Approach/dp/1905614497/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326505253&sr=8-1 Fortune-Wood questions the common wisdom that school refusing children need to be made to persist with school because they will withdraw socially if they are home educated. He claims that although this notion is widespread in education circles, there is not actually any scientific evidence whatsoever that this is the case. The anecdotal evidence he gathered, based on a fairly small sample of several dozen children, suggests the opposite. All of the children's parents felt that home education - even if only for a short period - was helpful to their children's social development.

There is a forum here www.home-education.org.uk/forum-school-refusal.htm for parents of school refusing children. Not all members are home educating but apparently the forum is fairly pro-HE.

I hope you find a good way forward. It sounds heartbreaking.

LynetteScavo · 13/01/2012 23:21

rainsuncloud, I've PMed you.