Did you go private at age 11 - if so, what were your thoughts and motivation ?

If its all 11+ and grammars in your area, Avon, can quite see how your experience differs from London: the academic selection does the social selection on its own (more or less)....

It's all 11+ and grammer's round here. The DCs are still v young and I'm still blithely assuming they'll pass. If they don't, however, we would consider private although paying would be painful. FWIW, I don't think ohdear is that far from the truth.

I don't know about my youngest ds - he's only 3! but the state secondaries here are single sex (apart from 1) and the girls ones are miles better than the boys. Miles. I would prefer to send him state, so am more likely to either send him to the boys school here or move to a different catchment than send him private, but it's an option anyway.

ds1 has asd and dyspraxia anyway, and we didn't find a state school that could cope with him.

BeattieBow - sending your girls state and your boys private?

Yes, really, Beattie its always under hushed tones and never when you first meet them, but its "its not really middle class enough" or "I don't want my DS/DD to be in a minority". Hardly ever any focus at all on results (which should always be compared to intake and not taken in isolation .... )

yes, I'd like to know which area you're in too Maka, if you don't mind sharing?

maka that is miles better than any of the state secondaries in my part of London and I will still be sending my dds to a state school. agree I wouldn't do it in that case.

Sounds, Maka, indeed that you would be mad to pay. Now, where is that school - not in my area I think.... but perhaps we should move. Care to disclose?

really ohdearconfused? I don't think that is the motivation for most sending their children at secondary level. maybe at primary level in London.

fwiw I won't for my dds because there is a good state secondary for them, but I have for ds1 because he has asd, and I may for ds2 because the boys schools are a bit shit. But only because of the educational standards, not because they might mix with the kids from the estates

We are seriously considering it and are just working our way round the London day schools, off to see City boys on Thursday.

Why? I ask myself this a lot. DH and I were both privately educated at secondary and I have always assumed we would do the same for our kids. However, despite considering it very seriously and knowing that we have an extremely able DS I am also questioning why on earth we are prepared to pay around 15k a year for private school when our feeder comprehensive has nearly 90% of children getting 5A-C at GCSE, over 80% A-B at A level and a dozen or so going to OXbridge each year. It also has amazing facilities on par with the best privates and I know my DS would love it. I think that realistically the privates will be a back up once I have come to the sensible realisation that we would be mad to pay and that he will be hard pushed to get a better education than the state option will give him.

However, if we didn't have that option on our door step my motivation would be that we can afford to give our children the best opportunities so why would I not?

yes. The other options were shit.

Not done it yet, but will likely in a years time. Why? So that my DD won't have to mix with the working class kids from the estates. (If truth be told, IMHO, the true motivation for many in inner London who go private (when they can afford it) when there are perfectly acceptable state options around.)

In the end no we didn't, but we did consider it as a serious option and all 3 sat the local entrance exams (DD2 even got a substantial part fees non means tested scholarship- it was sooooo hard to turn that down).

We considered it because the local set up is highly selective grammars and then comprehensives, which though often good schools were geared (because of the top slicing of the brightest 5% by the grammars) to less academic routes of study.

It was clear at primary that somehow we had bred 3 academically very able kids who would thrive in an environment that stretched them and was fast paced for learning. They were lucky enough to get grammar places. So far so good!

Think about your child, their skills and aptitudes, work ethic and attitude to learning. Then have a look/read round your local schools and see if they match. If my child was a shy, slightly academically struggling, learner who needed nurturing and practical support, actually the local comp may well have been a good choice. The private schools locally offered a slightly less academic high flying environment but could be a bit more flexible to individuality and offered huge amounts of sport- which if your child was and 11yr old with an element of "springer spaniel" so they can't settle to work unless they do lots of exercise then that would be the best choice. A child who is basically bright but isn't a "grafter" may be better in a private school where they will be chasing them to apply themselves etc, IMHO state schools don't have the time and "bright but a bit lazy" kids will coast.

A child with learning difficulties is also probably best supported in a state school, unless it is a specialist private unit for say dyslexia.

What do you know about your local state schools that maybe makes you think private is the way forward?