Independent schools for the quirky/odd/non-conformist/downright difficult!

terminology difference ume - quirky and odd in RL here wouldn't be positives, more a cause for concern, but in this OP's RL as she's explained it's a positive - it was someone here who mentioned Winchester Collage as being suitable.

Rosemaryand Thyme - How rude of you!

And you're wrong about whether whole schools can be suitable for quirky children. My DS went from an Ofsted-rated "good" comp where the children drank beer at break time and he was miserable and lonely to an indie where the boys and girls are polite, tolerant and he is popular.

Schools teach behaviour and values, you know. Sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes more overtly.

good point, hadn't thought of that!

It's almost certainly too late to consider being a chorister. Most boys start between 7 and 9. (OP's son is yr 6 isn't he?). And they finish at end year 8 - so it'd mean yet another school to find then.

Agree that quirky is a good thing! Also OP is your son a singer? If so it might be worth looking at choir schools such as Durham Choristers etc because at most if you are a chorister you get substantial fee reductions as well as the opportunity to sing daily.

Ahhh am getting the hang of this now, this isn't a regular "need ideas choosing a school " its a "could I have some views on a short-list of particular schools".
OK fair enough - have had a read around and it is incredibly interesting, and like you I have nowt on these schools to offer.

Am curious though as to why so many are describing their children as odd or quirky, and even whole schools as being suitable for odd, quirky children. It seems terribly sad, or perhaps just a terminology difference.
Can't help but think these children have high functioning Asbergers traits

OP is never going to be interested in state, Rosemary. So why waste her time? She is smart enough to work out, google. visit the state schools that nurture talent into recording contracts and conservatoires. That's not the point. She's not buying any of that. Which is as well, because there is a BIG question mark over whether any child of sufficient talent not already closely guided by key players will get into those rare places. Raw talent and brute force of ability is what gets places, and I suspect OP is unlikely to move to play the distance game.

She already has Purcell, that is fine if the boy has enough talent and truly burns for his music. If not, anywhere suitable for her will do. But don't expect the likes of Eton, Westminster and St Paul's to make up for a specialist music school. That's not their portfolio. I wouldn't pay for anything less than absolute top tier and only if it fits my children, so feel unqualified to suggest what she already knows.

Two snappy retarts Wallow and still no suggestions from you ? Come on, you can do better than that.

The description given by OP of her lad does sound quite sad, good at music but can't be arsed to work to hard academically, OP unable to motivate or guide towards less oddity and behavioural difficulties, there is lots in the state system that could support him.

This is a specialist music school, not a generalist provider. Of course if child is not delivering as promised it is better for the child to go somewhere more suitable.

.... or the school asked him to leave because he was not progressing ...
oh my gosh, as a teacher in a state school I find this completely shocking. If a child at my school is not making sufficient progress the teacher is expected to put in place a range of bespoke support and interventions to ensure they do make progress - not ask the poor child to leave. Surely it's the school's responsibility to ensure they are making progress, this is what in most of your cases you are paying for after all, not get rid of them when the school fails to do it's job correctly?

the best will remain; Eton Win Coll St Pauls Girls/Boys etc. because the state sector can never compete with them

I'm sure any outstanding school will remain, whether state, public or other independents. For us and some classmates, using these ones as back up in case we could not make the state schools of choice, means the state does compete and is preferred over them. Most recent DC joining their secondary comp has been finding out not only did some classmates turn them down too, but have siblings at these very schools who did not make the state. Well, Eton, Westminster and SPGS anyway. Plus more lower 1st tier and second tier ones.

Open Day last month saw a high proportion of local and not so local top prep uniforms about. Parents shopping about tend to not be first or even second generation buyers though, so may be more relaxed about the "prestige" factor. Also a be "win-win" with all the extra term's fees flowing into independent school coffers when acceptances are withdrawn. So everyone's happy.

I couldn't agree with you more happygardening! I have visited a couple of state schools myself and I am really impressed, fair enough they are Grammar schools. However a family from My DCs prep opted for a comp and they were pleasantly surprised as well. Hearing about what their DCs are doing in the comp makes me wonder if I am getting value for money?!

You'll be surprised to know this was my next suggestion! DS1 (quirky,eccentric etc.) is at a brill. state school I've come to the conclusion that bigger schools are good for the unconventional you stand out less, your less of an odd ball, there's a higher chance of finding others similar to you when there's over a 1000 children. The school worked hard to integrate him although it wasn't really necessary because he just walked in and took to it straight away. He's doing better than he ever did in his pushy boarding prep, and is much happier. All the teachers we meet seem committed and know the children OK some are less good than others but this happens anywhere regardless of whether you pay or not. Art is really strong as is music and sport is available after school for those interested; my DS isn't.
We are more than pleasantly surprised. Ok its not like this at every school and we didn't have to fight for a place but there are plenty others like this out there.
I suspect as many state schools get better then many independent schools will close because how many of us have £31000 to spend on fees? Many like Harrow are frantically pedalling back on their initial bursary plans; now scholars only. Fees of £31K are a lot of money in anyones book. Most state schools are also looking at the league tables and are not going to let children cruise any more than independent schools are thus making them even more attractive to parents. Our school website reads just like the website for a good independent school. I was talking to our head the other day he felt that the best will remain; Eton Win Coll St Pauls Girls/Boys etc. because the state sector can never compete with them but the rest are going to be in trouble particularly in these harsh economic times
colleger go and look you like me might be pleasantly surprised.

State is verboten here, even with pupils that leave with record contracts... but don't stop being helpful elsewhere, Rosemary

Rosemary: nothing to do with working class, private v state at all.. have a little read then you'll find out.

Ok - shall tuck back into 'me working class box.

(state schools are full of odd-balls and some have fab music departments - could broaden interests away from classical in to beat-box and rap,)

pastoral

Sorry, I couldn't help it. :)

Oooooh nooooo!

Radical thought perhaps but would a good state school suit him ?

colleger lots of votes for Uppingham perhaps you shouldn't listen to gossip/rumours and go and see it for yourself. Question the head re: your concerns.

I definitely wouldn't recommend Stowe for a quirky child. At the prep schoo I work at it's the 'cool' kids that go on to Stowe - not especiay academic, pretty sporty, very popular and with the potential to go off the rails. I know chidren who are very very happy there but do think there is potential for chidren who are slightly different to be totally miserable.

We send some lovely children to Uppingham. I hope they don't all turn out as you have suggested, that makes me sad :( Don't know much about the school really.

Have you considered Bloxham? It's quite small and personal and, I believe, has an excellent new music department.

OP, as others up the thread have suggested I would take a look at Bootham. I see students from the school around town etc and are always well mannered, the school took part in the york open studios art exhibition (opened to the public in summer) and the level was v high - I read that one year 20 pupils got 100% in art. School also does concerts through the year etc and every wednesday there is a recital open to the public. Other schools mentioned above Oakham is also definitely worth a look, as is Uppingham. Those are the only three mentioned that I have personally encountered so sorry couldn't be much more help. Also definitely look out for music scholarships - lessons are just so pricey!