To all of you dropping your "babies" at university this autumn..

Fellatio it is a very difficult decision to make. I moved to the ME when DC1 was 13 and DC2 10. DC1 had the choice of a place at a good boarding school or to come out with us. He choose to come out. In hindsight he thinks he MAY have done better in his GCSEs if he had stayed in the UK however the experience of living in the ME for 3 years was, well an experience and he learnt arabic and (against the odds) achieved a GCSE in it as a second foreign language. There was no question he would stay there for A levels though, his school (British International School) had only just opened the 6th form and no way he was going to be a guinea pig and also, the amount of A levels offered were very limited.

DC2 returned to the UK after 2 years as she had not settled well at school (wasn't taking it seriously and the school appeared happy to let them sit back and do nothing) so we sent her back before GCSEs. She really enjoyed her 2 years in the ME but is happy back at boarding school.

You have to do what is best for them no matter how hard it might be for you. I found it very hard at times having two children at two different UK schools and then two younger ones in the ME. It was very hard so we took the decison to return to the UK this summer. It is lovely being all back together again (if somewhat chaotic and noisy!)

As I said before, it makes them very confident and DD who would get lost walking from her bedroom to the bathroom has got used to flying on her own and negotiating the airports and customs etc.

I can recommend some good boarding schools if you are interested

Fellatio ((hugs)) to you too. Its not easy, I was in that position a few years ago sending DD1 and DS2 to boarding school. It was a difficult decision but I was living abroad and although they had been with me for a few years the schools were not as good as in UK so we took the difficult decision for them to return to boarding school. Several years later, it was clearly the right decison, it gives them confidence and a lot of independence. Will they fly out to you for school holidays? Where are you moving too?

Yoey he'll be back. He'll be back at Christmas and Easter with his bags of dirty washing DS very excited and is packing already but he looked when I (jokingly) suggested he clear all his room out so I could get an au pair which would make my life so much easier. They will always be our babies, our PFB but we must cut them loose, even if just a little bit x

mumofsoontobelawstudent thanks for the understanding. My DH will take DS to uni- I wonder if after all these years stepfather and stepson will hug goodbye?! I'd be useless anyway- I cried openly when watching skinny little 11 year old DS play that nasty rugby sport and may actually sob at uni leaving time because I did so at customs when DS went travelling! Wish DS wasn't so gleeful when talking about "moving out"!
What I find so weird with a huge age gap is how we're funding some of DS's uni costs with DD1's 15 hours govt-funded nursery fees that we currently pay!

oh thank you, missmiss

we've seen some pics & it does look lovely!

Ponders, my best friend lived in Ranmoor during her first year at Sheffiekd and had a great time, I'm sure your son will love it :)

You may think they're going away forever - my DD2 is off in October.

However, DD1 has graduated, and is now back home (just when we'd given away her room to DS)!

We have two going this year!!! When did they get so big? We have done it before eldest went and did three years in London and loved it . These two went last year .... One lasted 10 days and the other till febuary!!! Bloody he'll so here we go again at new uni's and one doing a different course so fingers crossed. We have another ready to go next year two it's like a mad house here. At least they had confirmed offers so no clearing here

yoey ((hugs)) I can understand how you feel about him. DC1 and 2's dad buggered off and pretty much abandonded them for a few years although he is now back in contact with them so I imagine I'm a bit of a lioness when it comes to them.
Is there no-one who can look after your two DD's whilst you take DS to Uni?

I've been broken in gently in that DS has been at boarding school the past two years so it won't be a huge wrench when he goes. He is VERY excited, particularly since receiving confirmation of his accommodation today from his Uni. (although was a bit low when he realised how much the shortfall was between accommodation costs and student loan!)

mumofsoontobelawstudent I'm in the same boat as you- I have a 19 year old who's about to go to uni and I'm unable to take him there as there's no room in the bloody car due to car seats! I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. Also DS is refusing to allow his 2 baby sisters to cramp his style on his first day- understandable! I have had some experience of having to let him go as he went to USA for a gap year- I used to sit in his room and cry quite often in the first few weeks! I was a single parent with DS from when he was a baby until he was 9 and I think the love I feel for him as a result is somehow intense and fierce. It's so awful to let him go. But thanks OP for your reassurance.

Meant to say thanks for being so accomodating math :) It was late and I forgot.

Agree too. I tell mine to please make some effort now so that they aren't bored senseless in later life.

When you think about the alternative, and the prospect of a 30-something with a dead end job (if they're lucky) living in the converted garage, it makes it easier to see them off to what will hopefully be a bright future.

Yes Ponders you're right. Still, can't wait for October! (only five!).

BecauseImWorthIt yep i think the gap yah works wonders in preparing parents for their offsprings departure

GetOrf - this time last year DS1 was supposed to be going to university. I found myself wandering round Sainsbury's, really teary, thinking "I will only be shopping for 3 now".

He didn't go in the end, because he re-applied and is now going this year. He has been working locally since last November.

I can tell you that whilst I will no doubt have a few tears when we drop him off, he is definitely ready to go and I am very definitely ready for him to leave!

I think that's down to crowd control, yellowstone

I like all these new departures in my DCs' lives. Am I a vile mother? Or lazy, with less to do when they're off? Or bored, so I like new things. I don't know, but it all seems natural, and exciting. I like it.

The terms are bloody short.

When we dropped off DS1 at university for the first time DH said "I want to go to university again!" We could (just about) remember the feeling when it was the first day of our new life when we were 18. Now DS2 is at university and we are empty nesters we are quite happy in another new life (or perhaps it is just picking up life as it was BC).

I'm suddenly feeling very old. And very confused. My 'baby' is going off to uni but I also have much younger DC, youngest 2.5 Feels very very odd.