Private schools - what are the long term benefits?

Private schools do not guarrentee good teaching and learning. Often children have the knowledge drummed into them but are not taught to figure things out themselves. Great for passing exams but can fail DCs at uni.

Private schools may not have spare cash for investing in upgrading lots of facilities or resources. I toured a private school that used textbooks from the 1980s!

Your DCs may also find that they are in a smaller social group and do not get the experience of a diverse social circle.

OH was privately educated (not that long ago) and his severe dyslexia was missed till he was sitting his GCSEs, he has low grades at A Level (C, C, D) and scraped out of university (6 years for a 4 year course) having to resit two years and with only a 2:2. Private school failed him educationally but socially it was great for him, particularly the sport.

On the other hand I went to a normal comp where my SpLD was missed completely, got goodish A Levels (A,A,E), got a 1st class at university, distinction at a MSc and have since done another post-grad qualification. Yet school socially was bad and I didn't excel in myself until uni.

propatria My DCs are at private schools - one is 11,00 the other 10,000. A bit over your limit I admit. Both schools always in the top ten in the country for GCSEs and A levels.

I find it rather odd that this has come down to getting into medicine. As a widowed mother of 4 when my eldest was starting secondary private was not an option and the geography of the area meant there was only one school available. However DD1 2 and 3 all got in to study medicine, when DD1, now 27 and specialising in nuclear medicine, went she was the only person she knew from a state school, DD3 is about to start her final year and her cohort is about 50-50. The impression I get is that since everyone now gets all As, well A* now, other personal characteristics carry much more weight. DD3 was told at her interview that it was refreshing that she had a saturday job in Woolworths! I lecture at a Russell Group university (Arts subject) and sometimes privately educated candidates have been too well 'coached' and lack( or have been told not to show) that spark we are looking for. This is a problem that is increasing every year.

Of course I wont have this problem with DD4, at 15 she currently wants to be a lifeguard on Bondi beach!

l will not bore you with why we chose an Independant but l do feel it is no more "buying a good education" than someone who buys property in a particular catchment area. l believe that any child from a supportive family who is of normal intelligence going to an average school will do OK. It is when one of these is compromised that potntial is not realised.
My son did not wish to go to a school other than where his friends were going - he passed the entrance test and won a playstation, thats how he saw it. His first year was awful. School felt that he ws not used to sitting down and concentratingfor any length of time. l would phone ahead and 2 teachers would be on hand to haul him out the car.

He spent 1 term in Kenya exchange with another school in the group and things started to change. School also suggested flexiboard to reduce traveling time this progressed to boarding weekly - then inevitably full time as he was in every sports team imaginable. Nearly every day at 7pm his house master would phone - after a gin l'ed phone back - between school and home "carrot and stick" he improved. When he was particularly difficult they would take away his sport - that ment he'd " let school down " and we'd be told so that we wouln't waste a journey. Expectations of behaviour were fair and consistant. Both child and parent understood and if you did not agree then probably it wasn't the school for you. l used to hate parents evening as you only saw the teachers where you felt the there were issues plus housemaster. For us it was most of them. All said the same charming, bright, made dumb insolence an art form and he would not reach his potential if he didn't change his attitude. For some teachers he'ed jump off Beachy Head if asked -others - well you can imagine.
GCSE's were mediocre - scrapped into 6th form.
New girl from Germany came and the transformation was unbelievable.
A levels - astonishing. Gap year in Germany ( D for french gcse) now fluent in german. Just graduated fron Southampton uni and about to start post grad medicine at Swansea having turned down a place at Imperial Colledge London for Medicine.
We had a boy who had a problem and our local state education provision at primary level was left wanting. Our son did not have the time for us to fight the system so we were left with little choice. However throught school he travelled most years to some where, As they progressed up the school they got privillages and responsibility - he used to help coach the little ones and supervise preps etc. Mentoring children who had similar problems to the ones he had. Learnt to take responcibility for himself and his behaviour. Organise himself . Self disapline when it came to studying - l do think the preparation for uni was good - being self reliant, knowing when and how to get help. Feeding himself and cooking on a budget ( weekends) His self confidence grew and he has a gift of being able to chat to anyone. l feel he has come out a very rounded person. Obviously we had imput but we got our moneys worth because our son was not "the most glorious" acamedic. He was very hard work but because they had time, our backing,he had nowhere to run and socould be confronted about his behaviour and attitude. He was given a belief that he could do and be anything he wanted provided he worked hard - and he has proved that by the work he had to do inorder to apply for medicine whilst doing his degree. He still plays sport to a reasonable level in uni 1st teams. School reinforced the values that we believed in - fairness, do unto others as you would like to be"
Financially £25.000 a year plus extras is alot to find. My Polo has 235,000 on the clock and my husbunds suburu isn't far behind. l missed ski - ing - we have a caravan in Pembrokeshire for holidays. We have a horrid house in a lovely village. we had to go from a very comfy lifestyle to thinking twice about buying luxuary items. In some ways we have learnt alot about what we don't need yet advertising makes you believe you do. It was good traing for paying for uni.
Was it worth it - for us - every penny and hopefully in 4yrs time he may even have financially gainful employment !!

l will not bore you with why we chose an Independant but l do feel it is no more "buying a good education" than someone who buys property in a particular catchment area. l believe that any child from a supportive family who is of normal intelligence going to an average school will do OK. It is when one of these is compromised that potntial is not realised.
My son did not wish to go to a school other than where his friends were going - he passed the entrance test and won a playstation, thats how he saw it. His first year was awful. School felt that he ws not used to sitting down and concentratingfor any length of time. l would phone ahead and 2 teachers would be on hand to haul him out the car.

He spent 1 term in Kenya exchange with another school in the group and things started to change. School also suggested flexiboard to reduce traveling time this progressed to boarding weekly - then inevitably full time as he was in every sports team imaginable. Nearly every day at 7pm his house master would phone - after a gin l'ed phone back - between school and home "carrot and stick" he improved. When he was particularly difficult they would take away his sport - that ment he'd " let school down " and we'd be told so that we wouln't waste a journey. Expectations of behaviour were fair and consistant. Both child and parent understood and if you did not agree then probably it wasn't the school for you. l used to hate parents evening as you only saw the teachers where you felt the there were issues plus housemaster. For us it was most of them. All said the same charming, bright, made dumb insolence an art form and he would not reach his potential if he didn't change his attitude. For some teachers he'ed jump off Beachy Head if asked -others - well you can imagine.
GCSE's were mediocre - scrapped into 6th form.
New girl from Germany came and the transformation was unbelievable.
A levels - astonishing. Gap year in Germany ( D for french gcse) now fluent in german. Just graduated fron Southampton uni and about to start post grad medicine at Swansea having turned down a place at Imperial Colledge London for Medicine.
We had a boy who had a problem and our local state education provision at primary level was left wanting. Our son did not have the time for us to fight the system so we were left with little choice. However throught school he travelled most years to some where, As they progressed up the school they got privillages and responsibility - he used to help coach the little ones and supervise preps etc. Mentoring children who had similar problems to the ones he had. Learnt to take responcibility for himself and his behaviour. Organise himself . Self disapline when it came to studying - l do think the preparation for uni was good - being self reliant, knowing when and how to get help. Feeding himself and cooking on a budget ( weekends) His self confidence grew and he has a gift of being able to chat to anyone. l feel he has come out a very rounded person. Obviously we had imput but we got our moneys worth because our son was not "the most glorious" acamedic. He was very hard work but because they had time, our backing,he had nowhere to run and socould be confronted about his behaviour and attitude. He was given a belief that he could do and be anything he wanted provided he worked hard - and he has proved that by the work he had to do inorder to apply for medicine whilst doing his degree. He still plays sport to a reasonable level in uni 1st teams. School reinforced the values that we believed in - fairness, do unto others as you would like to be"
Financially £25.000 a year plus extras is alot to find. My Polo has 235,000 on the clock and my husbunds suburu isn't far behind. l missed ski - ing - we have a caravan in Pembrokeshire for holidays. We have a horrid house in a lovely village. we had to go from a very comfy lifestyle to thinking twice about buying luxuary items. In some ways we have learnt alot about what we don't need yet advertising makes you believe you do. It was good traing for paying for uni.
Was it worth it - for us - every penny and hopefully in 4yrs time he may even have financially gainful employment !!

Yes my DD does something similar but they won't be able to get a job as a care worker and wipe bums until they are 18. Which would be excellent grounding for some of these public school wannabe doctors.

You may well need to be 18 to work at paid employment in a care home - I don't know - but you can certainly do work experience from 16, because I know that a 16 year old has been spending two hours a week in my dad's care home for the last year, talking to the residents, etc- she's done it as her service component for D of E. It may vary according to who owns the care home, or the local authority, of course.

Going back to the care home issue re medical applicants. You will need to be 18 to work on care in a care home. Many also require NVQ qualifications or be studying towards them. Most medical applicants will be applying before they reach 18.

If one is turned down and told to go and do a gap year at 18 working on care then I think this is an excellent idea and proves that the privately educated A* students might need a reality check before the can start to train as doctors.

The OP is slightly ridiculous IMHO. You need to visit individual schools and see if you and your child like them and the ethos. We made the decision to privately educate our children because if they go through all these years of excellent academic and pastoral teaching and care and then decide to be hairdressers/grooms/housewives, at least we know we gave them every chance we could have and they must REALLY want to be a hairdresser/groom/housewife!

Why are private schools so expensive? What is the money spent on?? And what if you have two children? The costs are enormous. Perhaps those costs could be put towards university education or investing in a flat for your child later on? I do understand your reasons for wanting to go private but just think of how much you'll be spending. Could you move to be nearer a better state school? This is our plan and we'll be helping our children at home. What are your DCs like? are they very academic? What is the local state school like?
Whether you go state or private the main things to consider are: Is my child happy? Is my child safe? And is he/she fulfilling his/her potential? If you can tick all of those boxes then your child is in the right school! I don't think that what the parents do for a living and fear of mixing with peers unlike yourself should come into it. I also think all this networking is done at the super selective very expensive private schools and the rest aren't really like that. As in the state sector, there's a huge range.

A lot of people are quite sentimental about their old schools/ universities Especially if they did well there. I would be more inclined to offer work experience placements or help out my old school if they got in contact with me than perhaps other schools. DH works in in finance and so much of getting on in those circles especially in the lucrative jobs is about who you know

There is only thing that makes a school a "good" or "bad" (for want of common clarification) and that is "people!". End of.

I am not sure how much people benefit from old boys' networks if they do not mix in those circles anyway. I have an old Harrovian friend who I have known since he was 25, by which time he already had absolutely no contact with anyone he had been at school with.

at old boys' network. I suppose it rather depends what your ambitions are.

Smaller class sizes, not have to follow national curriculum so lessons adapt it to fit the child, able to enter alternative exams IB, igcses, subjects such as classics, Latin, other languages not often offered by state schools, Higher chance of gaining a place at an elite university , access to old boys network

Part of the benefits from private school is that you can network with influenciall people.

Origins. Doesn,t have to cause trouble; but in my experience if someone gets different manners and much higher income factions will occur. (party because he or she will want to run the family) And will often get followers and dislikers. Playwrights would be out of business if it were not so,

As I said earlier, my sister and I went to state school and my brothers to private. I couldn't go to their school as it was boys only, and the private girls school was poor academically. My brothers, sister and I all got into medicine at a top university. It doesn't have to cause problems in a family.

Married in white, my kids state comp offers the same as your fee paying. Yesterday DD was doing some Japanese and Chinese, Chinese is offered as a free extra.

Imagine how pissed off the 'good' child is going to be ever summer, when 'naughty' sibling breaks up weeks earlier...

I don't have personal experience but would have thought so unless you can expalin very clearly why this is the best decision for all the DC involved.

I wouldn't like t tell a child that they had to go to independent school because they were naughty or whatever. Nor would I want to tell a child that they could manage with state because they were good.

And I'd be very worried that whatever I actually said, if this were the truth of my rationale...it would come across.

Agree word, it's a minefield, surely.

Doesn't sending siblings to different sectors create choppy waters too?

wow maypole that's a very tricky message to sell to your kids no?

marriedinwhite identical pluses at our school with the exception of the wide choice of MFL and Greek. State though, so no downside.

Your experience sounds bad, not surprised you want your DD to leave.

bitsyandbetty agreed my sister is doing this she has a naughty one and a good one dd1 is going to private as he needs a firm hand and small classes and dd2 is going state she is not easily distracted and will be fine in a larger class