Harrow v eton

I suppose the question is whether the risk of damage is worth taking and also bear in mind plenty of children are of the type to say all is well if it isn't. Up to date parent to form its own opinions. I'm not a massively anti boarding parent at all.

The damage is rejection - however you look at it, however cosy the duvets these days, however many exeats viewing your parents for a short period on a soggy field on a Saturday but not otherwise is rejection. The day to day interaction with teenagers I think is very important and the exposure to additional influences than just your peers is good and your peers have such a huge influence. I have seen children at school dinners boarding going off to smoke and teachers allowing that. If you go home to your parents each night you have an escaoe. I'm not saying children at day schools don't smoke or take drugs some do but at least there is a mixture of influence and the ability to see your children at their worst as teenagers (and we are always at our worst with those whom we love) is lost. A sort of separation grows up which is a pity.

Also you lose your freedom to a greater extent. Now it's not surprising my children chose not to board but had they wanted I wouldn't have necessarily stopped them so I'm not here as a hugely anti boarding person at all.

If those you love send you away you build up a hard carapace of coping. You know that those whom you love reject yo so that makes it harder in later life to form close loving emotional relationships. You learn to hide your vulnerability. Plenty never recover.

ANyway I only came on to the thread to point to the FT's good stats which show the current and historic differences between Eton and Harrow by way of A level results

site not sight!

I'd say children are more damaged in the pushy London school culture where parents breath down their DC's necks and they are tutored until they can no longer think for themselves.

I wonder how many ex school pupils would subscribe to boardingschoolthrivers.co.uk if I were to set up a sight. People only ever have something to say when they have had a negative experience, not the other way around.

I am not the only person who has found boarding school damage (although plenty of parents do a pretty poor job at home of course too). I have spoken to a lot of boys at one of those schools. I never get the impression by the adjectives used that the process really has benefited them but we can all pick our own views and thankfully we're free to express them. The adjectives used are about coping and barriers and surviving. www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/

On the academic standards yes traditionally Eton was for the bright and Harrow not so bright. As Harrow is always in the top 80 or higher for A levels now that difference is not so important.

Presumably boarding school parents are delighed we live in a country where we can all defend our school choices and point out what we view as decificiencies and even psychiatric damage caused by the choices of others.

This spat is silly.
We all know that thick boys go to bog standard comprehensives in the North of England.

Boarding is the main way a school keeps pushy parents at arms lengths and pushy parents away from each other!

swc the "thick boys" comment is in response to Xenia's post of 15.34

To be fair to Xenia, my FiL said that in his day there were a fair number of rich but dim boys at Harrow. Lots of them eschewed university and went straight into the army, the City (Lloyds in particular) or land management. That was true of other schools as well but he felt that Harrow had a higher proportion. Hasn't been true for the last few decades though.

clever

And Xenia, what was the point about mentioning NLC, it's ranking and that your daughter goes there on a boys boarding school thread. Do you want us to all gasp at our cleer your DD is?

Some children are so badly treated at home boarding school is by far the better option. Most 13+ children at boarding school are okay but I don't think I'd risk mine being one who wasn't. Luckily we live in a country where we are free to post our views and free to choose a school whether boarding or no lessons or home education or fundamentalist muslim or Jewish state or private. I'm glad we have those choices.

Well it only took 41 posts to get the token "boarding will destroy your child's life" comments.

Do you enjoy being up in your "High and Mighty, aint I the best parent in the world" perch Xenia?

Traditionally Harrow was the one you went to if you were a bit thick. It is doing better than it used to but there's no contest in terms of which is better regarded in terms of academics and the Oxbridge entrance results reflect that difference. if youi look at the FT schools league table you always get Eton in the top 10 or even higher. I see North London Collegiate my daughter's school is usually in the top 5 but then girls as we all know are pretty superior to boys.....

media.ft.com/cms/b3cbd9d6-31d1-11df-9ef5-00144feabdc0.pdf

Whereas Harrow 52, 86, 60 etc that type of position.

Then there are also all the other factors above. Many chidlren who board are psychologically damaged for life. To pay fees to damage your child and they obtain worse results than the better day private schools is a tragedy.

On year of entry stuff Prince Harry at Eton was allowed in a year older out of age range I think due to his August or whatever it is birthday.

It will be much easier to get a full bursary at a less selective school and potentially a single sex school.

My son was accepted a year early at three top schools but in the end we opted to put him back in his year group because we wanted him to be at the top of his game, especially in a robust school such as Eton. If your son has been at a state school then he will be way behind academically if attempting E or W, even if he is a genius so I would not advise trying to get him in a year early and coming from a state school Eton/Win Coll would probably say no.

Also is it easier to get a bursary at a not so academic school, eg Millfield, because they want to boost their league table stats/uni destinations?

Also forgot to add- are they all as strict with year entry cut offs as state schools? ie the 31st Aug/1st Sept divide, do Sept boys sometimes go in a year early?