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Original poster

Parents evening coming up (Thursday ) What not to say

30 replies

seriouslycantbebothered · 14/03/2011 18:43

Seriously I always put my mouth in gear befor my brain . This is the first secondary school parents evening so havnt a clue how it works . Kind people tell me what not to say . and come to think of it what sort of questions should I ask . TIA

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Foyled · 20/03/2011 19:19

Glad it went well seriously! I have one more to go and then I will be free from parents evenings for ever!

TanteAC · 19/03/2011 11:00

Glad it went well!

I am always more nervous than the parents on parents' evening lol.

I just love meeting their parents - especially in y7 as it is the start of a (hopefully good!)relationship!

It falls into 3 categories for me:

  1. Parents I really need to meet otherwise I will be calling home shortly anyway (behaviour, issues, homework, child's general happiness, etc). Suppose this is the 'nipping in the bud' thing!
  1. Parents whom I am dying to tell how fantastic their child is! And I always tell them to give them extra pocket money that week - it is lovely to boastto their parents on the kid's behalf Smile
  1. The 'under the radar' kid's parents - seems ok, quiet, work all fine but enjoy having a little 5 minutes just to talk to them. Do they enjoy it? What would they like me to do? etc.

Nice to put a face to a name, and you can gauge how much support the student has from home, or what issues they may have. I actually alwys enjoy parents' evening (but jaysus! It is hard work!)

Parents I dread:

  1. COMBAT parents! lol. The ones who come in ready to challenge you on everything. It baffles me! I care about your child, if there was a real issue I would have expected communication before now, if you have a concern I am more than happy to help work it out. No need for arsiness..! (I had one parent, when I was new to the school, demand to know my qualifications Shock! Nothing related to my teaching, I hasten to add - she just felt she would like to know!)
  1. The parents who are hard on their child and don't understand that we are all good at different things and if his TMG is a C and he is getting a B, then you should be congratulating him (and obviously me Grin) not berating him in front of me because his brother got an A! A couple of times I have been Sad in these situations, but it generally explains a lot about the anxious little kid in front of me 3 times a week.

Ooo, that was cathartic!
Wonder why both sides dread them so much?!

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 18/03/2011 14:12

god I was so proud seriously . (boastfull alert lol )I was told that the science teacher could wax lyracle about my ds for the next 10 minutes . I could of kissed her . i didnt but it was a close thing . The maths teacher had photos of the kids . I did a little smile at that one . Funny thing is this teacher has only had my ds for 6 weeks as he moved up a group . But his concerns were that ds didnt speak up in class . he knew the work but didnt want to look foolish in front of the other kids as he was new to the group . this was spot on what a clever teacher to know this . All in all I walked away feeling a million dollas . So pleased with the school and nice to put a face to a name .

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Foyled · 18/03/2011 14:01

How did it go seriously?

gingeroots · 18/03/2011 12:47

There we are ,in a nutshell .
Forget all the reforms ,reinventing the wheel ,Academies and Free Schools .
How about smaller schools where the teachers ( to whom I take my hat off ) can be expected to know and recognise the children they teach?
Oh ,did I hear someone mention money and economies of scale ....

MrsSatsuma · 17/03/2011 20:14

Nonno, I'm glad you said you were being arsey... a parent asking me how well I know their child is rather scary! I teach over 400 kids - I can't possibly know them all very well! I do my absolute best but there are limits... you're not there to interview the teacher, which is sometimes what it feels like!

Minx179 · 17/03/2011 18:12

Fallen I hope there are no surprises when I see parents at this point int he year. They will have had three progress reports sent home, and any major concerns will have been communicated. What I do in parents' evening is try to explain how they got the levels they are working at, and what that means, and whether their attitude and behaviour influence that in a positive or negative way. I'm not sure just a number is always very useful really.

Can you come and work at DS's school? I could do with this degree of info.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 17/03/2011 14:53

snort that is funny . arnt you tempted to swap photos around when they arnt looking .

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verybored · 17/03/2011 14:33

Just look for the panic in their faces when they haven't a clue who your DC is. Ours actually have photos of all the pupils so they can check they know who they are talking about!

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 17/03/2011 10:30

hey nonnomum Im constantly arsey lol have a good day

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NonnoMum · 16/03/2011 20:45

Just smile and be nice. I was being a bit arsey. LOL

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 13:49

nono mum we have just had a report through that tellsme about levels and where they are and where they want them to be . The after school clubs are well known about there are so bloomin many . I dont see how well they can know my child since September but hey ho . I just want to know if he is peeing them off in any way ,is he working hard enough and has he made friends . Please feel free to rephrase this into a suitable question to ask and I will use it . LOL

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NonnoMum · 16/03/2011 09:33

Ask each teacher about how many extra-curricular opportunities they are offering your child...

Ask each teacher how well they feel they know your child...

Ask each teacher if you think they will succeed in aiding your child to exceed the school's expectations.

Ask each teacher what level your DC is working at now, and what they they should/could be working at.

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 16/03/2011 09:28

We talked about it last night and we think the only negetives are talking to much and scruffy handwriting . so fingers crossed thats all it is lol . I bet I wont get the same answers in year 10 . lol

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Foyled · 15/03/2011 23:00

To be fair I have had no surprises, just bigger shocks than I was expecting! Far further down the line though. If I am honest I wish I had had more surprises in Year 7, may have nipped things in the bud.

TheFallenMadonna · 15/03/2011 22:01

I hope there are no surprises when I see parents at this point int he year. They will have had three progress reports sent home, and any major concerns will have been communicated. What I do in parents' evening is try to explain how they got the levels they are working at, and what that means, and whether their attitude and behaviour influence that in a positive or negative way. I'm not sure just a number is always very useful really.

exoticfruits · 15/03/2011 21:55

I've never had time to write anything down! Always say your bit, you won't get another chance!

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 15/03/2011 20:12

no coffe but is wine ok lol

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CrosswordAddict · 15/03/2011 20:06

Always take pen and paper to write down their pearly words of wisdom

Never speak unless asked to

Smile and nod a lot

Move swiftly on

Never try to jump the queue as it upsets the other parents and leads to trouble

Don't go for a coffee in case you can't find the loos Smile

gingeroots · 15/03/2011 17:12

IME they won't tell you about any educational difficulties - would take too long ,you'd start asking questions ,for advice and for help.
So watch out if you've a quiet ,well behaved but struggling child .
All you'll get is smiles and "it's early days ".

Original poster
seriouslycantbebothered · 15/03/2011 14:41

ok this should be fun . So smile nicely keep it short and ask if there is anything in particular I should be concerned about . Hope I dont get any surprises .

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inkyfingers · 15/03/2011 13:44

Make notes of what each one says, so you can stick on fridge to remind DC of neat handwriting for Mrs Scary and stop being late for Mr Throttle. I can't never remember anything any of them say unless it's truly bad Wink

Foyled · 15/03/2011 12:50

What teachers want to say is how they are doing in tests, how they are getting on with homework and what their behaviour's like. They want you to promise to give their kid a kick up the backside if you say they're not working hard enough, or to look pleased and say well done to your kid if you say nice things.

Bit depressing isn't it? In other words they want you to sit and listen to what they say and agree with all their suggestions, but then I suppose they would if you think about it!

It is all fine if everything is fine but if there are any unpleasant surprises then be prepared to ask what you should be doing, but also what the school is doing and how you are going to communicate about the outcome of your actions.

gingeroots · 15/03/2011 10:18

brace yourself - unless your dc's school is exceptionally well organised - it's a nightmare .
God knows how the teachers cope !

exoticfruits · 15/03/2011 07:37

You get 5 minutes a subject. I let them start and take it from there-unless I have a specific worry which I would get in first.
If there are problems ask how you can help.
If you get one with the form tutor, ask how they are settling in and making the transition-friends/coping etc.