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Original poster

state school child got into Eton

158 replies

kris123 · 16/12/2010 16:05

Dear Mums,

Our son was accepted into Eton, and we are indeed very happy, but as always there are now new concerns. He is currently attending a state school, and is due to finishing this year at year 6, whereas Eton only starts in year 9. This means that we have two years "inbetween".

Please note that the offer to Eton, as all of them, is conditional on passing the common entrance exam , which I hear is not difficult, but still requires some work (especially as there are specific subjects like history and geography and latin to cover).

Our choices are:

  1. play it safe, send him to the local prep school waste 14k a year basically, and put him under totally not needed stress with kids fighting for 13+ intake. Most prep schools will take him as he will simply improve their statistics.

  2. send him to the grammar school, which our son will most probably get into (he did pass the test, but decisions due in March). Issue there for me is that they will not know the Independent Common Entrance System, and will not prepare him for it, and furthermore will not even know that he is leaving them at age of 13 to go to Eton. To add to this they do not teach Latin, one subject that is needed on Common Entrance Tests i think.

  3. send our child abroad for one year, to France or Germany to learn a new language, have some fun, ski, relax, and basically enjoy a year after the stress of last two months, learning to board etc. Then bring him back for year 8 to prep school and prepare him for the exam that is towards the end of the year.

Now, I am lost with this topic, but maybe someone can guide me, especially on feasibility of plan 2) and 3). You see we are very much pro state school system - grammar of course, and want our son to learn that there are grammar schools for smart kids and be proud of his years there.

Now my concerns are:

a) how difficult are these common entrance tests? can someone actually fail them if they are smart and do some work, or do you need a lot of work and prep for it like with the admissions process?

b) what is the level and type of work done at the grammar schools... is their program similar to prep schools so that this knowledge can be used for common entrance?

c) how risky would it be to take a child out of the UK education system for one year, and bring him back to the prep school and prepare for the common entrance tests in one year?

Thanks, happy but still concerned parent

OP posts:
propatria · 19/12/2010 10:20

I would very much like to know the name of the person at Eton that told the op about the exam(not common entrance) that her son will sit.

mattellie · 19/12/2010 00:07

'telling me that you have helpful information but will not release it is just spitful'

No more so than your blithe disregard for anyone's children but your own.

Still, look on the bright side, if your son shares your lack of understanding and empathy, he'll probably do well at Eton. Smile

seeker · 18/12/2010 17:38

Actually, I think you can only be a hypocrite if you pretend to be something you're not. I never do that.

seeker · 18/12/2010 17:37

And I admit it, on a regular basis.

amerryscot · 18/12/2010 16:38

Don't worry about Seeker, Kris. She is one of the biggest hypocrites on here when it comes to education.

llareggub · 18/12/2010 15:15

Oh this is hilarious. I do hope my DCs benefit from having someone like your son at their primary. Their lives will be the richer for it.

Original poster
kris123 · 18/12/2010 15:12

Seeker, no more than your child doing my child a favour by being there.

I understand that some elements of grammar system are unfair, like GS not available in all councils, and child aged 10 being too young to be able to be guided by the school teacher alone (where parents are unable or anaware or do not care), but I assure you that there is no better favour that you could to do the independent schools than that of eliminating the grammar schools.

Communism worked like that too, everyone equal - meaning everyone having nothing. Interestingly though, even in the communist regimes they recognised that the best way to "utilise" the talent was to give them an environment to thrive in.

OP posts:
JeffVadar · 18/12/2010 14:47

Firstly, many congratulations to your DS!

If your son has been at a state school I would have thought that a stint in a prep school (especially if he spends a term or two boarding) would get him accustomed to a different type of regime and would help him settle in more quickly when he gets to Eton.

Secondly, if you are worried about 'Eton bashing' I would have thought that he might be more likely to suffer from this at a grammar rather than a prep school.

I must admit that I thought that the different exam for boys coming from state school only applied to those going for the burseries, but as you say you have spoken to the admissions office then I must be mistaken.

Original poster
kris123 · 18/12/2010 14:26

Lastpudding...this is a very good question and I will think about it when it happens.

OP posts:
magentadreamer · 18/12/2010 13:22

Seeker, I think VSO should only be allowed into Comps, why should you Grammar lot have yet another advantage? Grin

Georgimama · 18/12/2010 13:08

everybody hates a tourist

lastpuddingleftontheshelf · 18/12/2010 12:44

Can I ask what you will do if your ds goes to the grammer school for two years and then at 13 says he wold rather stay there than go to Eton ?

Caoimhe · 18/12/2010 12:38

It's just keeps getting better.........

seeker · 18/12/2010 12:32

A bit like VSO?

seeker · 18/12/2010 12:32

Ah - so your child is now doing the grammar school kids a favour by going there!!!!!

Original poster
kris123 · 18/12/2010 12:29

This is one way to look at it.

The other is that there are a lot of "ordinary people" who simply refuse to talk or deal with the lets call them "other people", and the "other people" would hence greatly benefit if they have the ability to also talk to "ordinary people" that refuse to talk to the "other people".

OP posts:
seeker · 18/12/2010 12:12

Happy to do that. But this thread is about the choices you are making and you asked for advice about them. I am perfectly entitled to say that I believe your choice to be morally suspect, just as you have a perfect right to ignore my views.

The grammar school system is inherently unfair. But it has been made more unfair because it is now almost exclusively the preserve of middle class privileged children. Like yours - and to a lesser extent, mine.

You are denying another child a place at grammar school. This is undeniable. There are a finite number of places. You are suggesting that child takes one of those places with the sole intention of being a sort of 'tourist" in the state system for a couple of years so that he knows how to talk to "ordinary people". This to me is unacceptable.

Caoimhe · 18/12/2010 12:04

You're great value, Kris, with your high-minded love of state education (but only grammar schools) and your desire to send your son to Eton (of all places).

I don't know how you square the circles in your mind.

Original poster
kris123 · 18/12/2010 11:44

Seeker, start a new thread, call it: perfect education system.

Collect views (I will give you mine too if you care), and send them to the education secretary and see what he can do. Create a biggest thread mumsnet.com has ever seen. Conclude it, create a vote on it.

You know, internet, forums, chatlines, has made people much more comformist. You think that you put down your emotions on some forum and you make a difference, then you go back to your everyday life, and actually - nothing changes. Do you know that oil companies like Shell, BP, have run iternet campaigns on environmental issues, which in effect became a one way email traffic of hate - but as Shell explained it, it actually puts the pressure away, as people have reacted - and reacte in vain.

If you want to improve the system (change is a big word), you need to take it a step furhter. Use the forum as a media, collect info, open webpages, facebook, twitter, voting, send them off to the education secretary - YOU ARE LUCKY NOW, NEW GOVERNMENT USUSALY MEANS OPENESS FOR NEW IDEAS and admittance that the current system is a failure (and you see this blame game everyday on tv).

There are plenty of things you can do good, but most certainly not depriving my son of a place at the grammar, as you think that someone else, of lesser performance in the test, has a higher "moral right" to it. This is not only wrong, but actually a very dengerous way of thinking (luckily though only on a website). Mao Tse Tung was only few steps above you with his Cultural Revolution.

OP posts:
seeker · 18/12/2010 11:05

I attack the system. AND those who exploit it for their own ends.

Original poster
kris123 · 18/12/2010 10:51

I fear I am wasting time here, but I defend my position, especially as neither of you offers even a reasonable rational alternative (pls remember that we are in December so even if I would want to change my secondary school choices I could not).

You agree that the vacated grammar school place - assuming I vacant it - will be filled, via a fair process. Furthermore, being filled at 13 or 14, it might offer one brilliant boy an opportunity to enjoy a grammar school, who being 13 will actually be old enough to realise its importance and study hard by himself, vs vast majority of boys who at 10 are simply the products of their talent AND the ambition and motivation of their parents (read countless hours of hard work and past papers).

In any case I also find it surprising that you chose to attaack me, and not the actual grammar school admission policy. If you do think that there is a problem with the system, try to change the actual system and not force everyone to adapt to its problems.

Mattellie, telling me that you have helpful information but will not release it is just spitful.

Caoimhe, stereotyping that everyone who pays 30k per year might as well pay extra 28k for prep, is exactly a reason why I want my son to go to the the grammar school first, as no doubt later someone like you will say that my son got into Eton only thanks to the 15k per year prep school he attended financed by his parents.

So on that note maybe i will go and ask my son to stop playing the PS3 now and start preparing for that last grammar school exam in January. Days like today, dark, snow, cold, are just perfect for studying.

OP posts:
Caoimhe · 18/12/2010 08:37

Have to agree with you Mattellie - around here if a vacancy comes up at a grammar school everyone on the waiting list has to sit an exam again.

I think it is a pretty poor show taking a grammar school place for 2 years knowing you are leaving. Places at Comps are filled via the waiting list in a straightforward way so taking a place at a Comp would not disadvantage other children in the same sort of way.

I do find it hilarious that someone could moan about prep school fees for 2 years when they are planning to pay £30k a year for Eton!

mattellie · 18/12/2010 00:14

Just to clarify re. grammar schools and late entry. I have 1 DC at a grammar school, now in Y10. In the 3+ years he has been there, only 2 children (from a 180 annual intake) have left, and one of those was a brilliant musician who won a music scholarship elsewhere. On neither occasion was the vacancy filled in year, and when they were filled they were via exams so there is a 'clear and transparent' process as talkinpeace puts it, but it is not one which will benefit the same child who would have got a place in Y7.

So while the OP isn't doing anything wrong, her approach does stick in the craw a bit. Since the OP didn't seem in the slightest bit concerned about this when seeker pointed it out, I'm afraid I won't be passing on my detailed knowledge about Eton. Sorry.

Talkinpeace · 17/12/2010 21:48

A slight perspective.
I retook my A levels at Mander Portman (look it up if the name means nothing - it matters)
We had Eton, Harrow, Haileybury, Charterhouse, Oundle, Clifton, St Marys, Westminter, you ferkin name it, they had wasted their parents money.
And what I learned, through my own alcoholic haze with a 25 year 20:20 lens.
Many / most of us were fulfilling our parents dreams, not ours.
Hence we were doomed to fail.

OP
Why do you want DS to go to Eton?
Why does HE want to go to Eton?
Is he happy to separate from all his friends?
Are you happy to disown local parents?
Real questions, real answers.

Be very aware of what you want to achieve....

Abr1de · 17/12/2010 21:36

It would have to be a 20-volume set of books.