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My son has just burst into tears, and he never cries. Please help :o(

55 replies

MoreSpamThanGlam · 16/11/2010 18:26

My son is in Year 7 at a newish state school. He used to go to the 1 class per year primary but we moved out of the area to go to the same school as the other children.

He is a bright boy and very sensitive....and very ginger. he is musical and sporty but the kids at his school are predominantly froma poorer background and there are lots of fights, bullying etc. He feels really intimidated and has told me he has no friends, despite being the most popular boy in his old school.

I was just driving to my Mums and he told me about an old friend of his that has moved schools and as we started talking everything came flooding out and he was crying uncontrollably and said that his only friend has now said he cant be friends with him for fear of being beaten up.

He said that even if I speak to the head of year it cannot change the intimidating atmosphere of the whole school.

I come from a very working class background and went to a rough school and didnt want him to go to a predominantly white, middle class school but this is just awful. The other 2 closest schools are also dire. How do I get him in to the school he wants? Please help me.

OP posts:
pointydog · 16/11/2010 18:50

How many year classes? SOme classes are better than others.

pointydog · 16/11/2010 18:49

High school can be v difficult. Lots of strong characters jostling for top dog positions and looking for the scapegoats. Things tend to settle down when people find their group, their like-minded buddies.

How many pupils are at the school? If it's big, the chances are that your son will find a group of friends that suit him. What extra-curricular clubs does the school run?

When does the school set? Is he with the same pupils all teh time or is he in set classes for maths and english? If he has ended up wioth a particularly bad bunch for certain clases only, the school could move him into a better class (re behaviour).

Speak to guidance and other staff to get a clearer picture of the situation and get them to suggest some options too.

Try to remain calm and gather some options!There could be ways to make this easier.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 16/11/2010 18:44

He is a member of two clubs and has made some friends there but they do not feel they can be friends with him at school.

He has made noises about moving, but I just put it down to settling in, but this is something different. he said the whole atmosphere in the school is intimidating.

I just want to movve him, I can't stand it.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 16/11/2010 18:35

You do need to speak to the school about this. If the there is a bullying culture within the school then they need to tackle it. It may not help your son initially though. Can you encourage friendships from elsewhere - if he is a member of a club then that may encourage friendships.

The first term of secondary is always difficult.

Fuchzia · 16/11/2010 18:30

I'm sorry I can't really offer any advice, but it seems like pretty serious bullying which needs to be taken very seriously by the school you should certainly raise it with them. Your poor DS.