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Secondary education

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Original poster

send my daughters to two different schools-good idea?

32 replies

mpar17 · 11/11/2010 23:29

I have 2 daughters aged 12 and 11 the eldest started secondary school this year and the youngest will start next summer. The youngest has been offered a place at the best performing school (which is not fee paying) in our city. I realise it's a great opportunity but there will never be a place at this school for my eldest daughter. Although I have many concerns, my biggest worry is how going to different schools might effect their relationship. They are very close and I wouldn't like to damage that. Anyone have any personal experiences of this kind of thing or just an opinion? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 12/11/2010 08:02

potentially all 3 of mine may end up at different secondary schools for various reasons not necessarily under my control.

really doesn't bother me - something i always explain to my children is that being treated fairly doesn't always mean being treated the same - what is right for one child might not be for the other an tht is just part and parcel of life :)

i am mean though Grin

mummytime · 12/11/2010 07:20

Why not discuss it with them? There are schools that some children would love but others hate. Do also share your worries with them, if you are honest now it should help later.

josie14 · 12/11/2010 00:08

I think you should treat each child individually. If you eldest child had got the place and the younger one didnt. would you consider taking the older one out of the better school to be with her sister. There may be other benefits to having both girls together but I dont think the decision being made about the younger one should be based on the needs or wishes of the older one.

Original poster
mpar17 · 11/11/2010 23:56

Oh I know it's very difficult isn't it. The school that my eldest goes to no really suits her-no uniform, i-pods on in maths, plenty of drama and music. The other school is so strict and uniform and discipline which would suit the youngest better. Still concerned about splitting them up though.

OP posts:
TheNextMrsDepp · 11/11/2010 23:51

Hmmm....interesting. I think this may happen to us because dd1 is a complete brainiac and may well get into one of the local grammars but dd2 may not. I don't know that I'd want to hold one back because of the other - it has to be the right school for each.

Original poster
mpar17 · 11/11/2010 23:42

No the school my eldest daughter goes to is good just not 'as' good. I put both of their names down for the other school a few days after they were born the eldest wasn't offered a place last year because there were none available. I've spoken to them both and they seem pretty easy about the whole thing...that's not to say they will be when they are 30 and 31 and looking back. I'm kinda like you and think I would be a bit upset about it

OP posts:
harecare · 11/11/2010 23:39

Is there something wrong with your eldest DD school?
If my younger sister went to a different school to me I'd wonder why. When I was told it was because it was a much better school I would wonder why I couldn't go too. I would then be horribly jealous and think I wasn't loved as much.
Your dds may be more selfless and kind than me, why not ask them?