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Original poster

Do you really think it matters if we don't attend Y7 parents eve at DS's new secondary...

62 replies

ampere · 30/10/2010 18:16

..seeing as he's been there 8 weeks?! And it's a huge school thus I would be frankly amazed if the teachers even knew who my middle-of-the road, 'B' grade performing, well-behaved DS was? We don't get to meet his tutor unless your DC has a subject with them (mine doesn't); it's a highly regarded school that will produce detailed reports at Xmas and end-of-year, and it's a school that would tell you if there was a problem!

As it happens we will meet his English, Maths and Spanish teacher (as those are the ones DS arranged for us to see!) but really, in the absence of 'issues', is it a bit of a waste of time?!

OP posts:
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gillybean2 · 07/11/2010 10:08

Have to agree with you OP that subject tutors this early seems a bit pointless.

I saw my ds's form tutor a couple of weeks ago. That parent's evening was ONLY for form tutors. Subject teachers are later in the year. Plus they don't get streamed until next year so it's likely that some of those tutors are going to change at some point.

At the same form tutor/parent evening we were also invited to sign up for the online system, register our name and get a parent password so we have access to the parents section of their website.
This includes general letters home etc, but also ds's timetable, tutor subject details, and individual info relevant to ds and how to contact various staff members.
So from that POV it was worth going. And they ticked off on a list everyone that queued up for this so felt I had done my part there!
Did already know my way round the system pretty well though having logged on to ds's pupil account when he came home with teh details for that at the start of term Grin

I also spoke briefly to the head of the lower school and a bit more to the head of Year 7 who I've already spoken to by phone this term, and who we met in person to show ds round school last term.

OP I do object to your comment about other parents not knowing their school terribly well.
I do know this school quite well in that I had been to visit the school 2 years before when looking at it as an option (although I hadn't been able to make the various open days the year before he started due to a car accident/unable to walk). I had spoken to lots of parents and pupils of the school in the 2 year run up to choosing secondary options, had been to as many induction evening etc as I could before he started and ds had an individual tour round sch with head of yr7 back in July.
I too know where his form room and locker is and could walk there without help or a map (imo that's not bad given that the school has 2000 pupils and is very large).
I also know where to find his head of Year and form tutor's offices, where both the lost property locations are, could walk to the blocks where he has science, english, food tech and several other subjects.

Given that this sch was only our 3rd choice school I think I'm doing ok really...

freerangeeggs · 05/11/2010 19:44

Ooh sorry, just saw your post :) Glad you made it!

freerangeeggs · 05/11/2010 19:43

I'm an English teacher and I teach about 140 kids in total (2x Y9, 1x Y7, 2x Y10, 1x Y11). English and Maths teachers are quite lucky because we get to know the kids quite well.

If I had a parents' evening tomorrow I would know all my Y7s but I might not know them terribly well yet. ICT, RS or other subjects who see them less often, though - I know for a fact that some of them have to print off photos of the kids who have made appointments. It's not their fault as they see almost everyone, and all the wee ones look so alike in their uniforms!!

Really the first one is just to let the parents see that the kids are settling in. Maybe try making appointments for English, Maths and a couple of others - the rest are a bit of a waste of time at this stage tbh.

roisin · 03/11/2010 17:37

Well, I'm glad you survived and that it was well and punctually run at least!

Sorry you didn't get any more helpful feedback. But at least there were no nasty surprises. Grin

Original poster
ampere · 03/11/2010 08:48

Hi, all. Well, along went and saw 4 teachers (and met some parents from DS's primary who ruefully recounted how their DC had, in one case, triple booked 3 teachers!! Glad we kept it at 4).

It was well run, and ahead of time, But that's probably because the teachers were given 10 minutes per appointment to say.

"Hi, Mr & Mrs Ampere, hi Ampere Junior 1, and doesn't Ampere Junior 2 look just like his brother?! Anyway, AJ1 is doing well in class (tick). He's turning in a good standard of work (tick). He likes to contribute in smaller groups but is a bit reluctant to speak to the whole class (tick). I won't be grading him in the progress report you'll get in 3 weeks time as I think it's too early to judge given the relatively small amount of markable work they've turned in so far (tick)." Grin

None deviated except the Science teacher, a wild Irishman who said DS1 (aka AJ1!) understood graphing concepts well, and the English teacher who said he'd turned in an excellent piece of written homework (Yes, I know, I helped him structure it and have read his logbook where you said that!).

I know I am sounding peevish- I'm not really. I am glad the evening was well run and DS hadn't double booked us. I'm glad the opportunity exists to meet the teachers if you feel the need. It was interesting to eyeball his teachers though he is 'losing' 2 next week (bit of streaming) and one had only had him for 3 weeks.

But I still believe that a 10 minute chat with his form tutor (whom we weren't 'allowed' to meet unless as a subject teacher!) would have been more useful! We get another parents eve in the summer which will be far more edifying, I believe, and we will be meeting all his teachers then.

OP posts:
dinosaur · 02/11/2010 16:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
ampere · 02/11/2010 08:13

My acceptance that it is the 'accepted/expected thing' to attend - thus I will- does not deny me the feeling that I am still not sure that there's much point in attending! Two different things.

As for affronted, well, I guess the posters who seem to be trying to project on me their own lack of knowledge about their own child, their child's education, their strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, the school itself, the school day etc might be construed as being a bit irritating!

OP posts:
Cammelia · 02/11/2010 01:22

If you were always intending to attend, why did you ask the question.

marriednotdead · 01/11/2010 22:18

Ok.

You did ask if we thought it mattered. And many of us said yes.

You appear quite affronted upset by that.

Just an observation.

Original poster
ampere · 01/11/2010 20:01

I believe the modern teacher understands that sending a clean, fed, properly attired, school -ready, homework-done DC to school every day constitutes a caring parent!

OP posts:
Totallyfloaty35 · 01/11/2010 19:57

I cant go to my yr11 dds parent eve,it clashes with an IB info evening at college in the next town which is where she wants to go next yr.
I really hope they dont think" im not interested".
Im sure lots of parents can't attend these eves due to work or childcare, it does not mean they do not care.

TheFallenMadonna · 01/11/2010 19:23

roisin - of course there needs to be a subject teacher parents evening. But our early tutor one (which we had a few weeks ago) is about settling in rather than academic progress. Pastoral.

Original poster
ampere · 01/11/2010 18:57

Hi gramercy- I hope you or f.c might be along! Good move for your DS to - ahem- 'check' his work against an Ahmed boy!! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ampere · 01/11/2010 18:55

I take it all on board but will only address 2 posters, bearing in mind that I have already stated that of course I will be attending the evening:

Q: 'Well, if you want your ds to think that you can't be bothered to go to his new school, meet his teachers, see his classroom, see the place where he spends his day, meet some of his frienda and their parents, then of course there's no need to go.......'

I have visited and toured the school 6 times already. I spent £60,000 more on a house to ensure he got into this chosen school. I could guide you to Room T2 right now, if you want! Or H3. M4? Matron's office? Follow me. I know DSs' head teacher and Head of Year. I know his classroom (though it is an anonymous 'History' classroom). His friends are the ones he met in primary, bar one or two. It is for him to extend these new friendships, not for me, running hither and thither on Parents Evening to further.

I would like to meet his tutor but that's not on the cards as he doesn't teach DS in any subject. I'd like to see more subject teachers BUT The DCs have to arrange the meetings themselves and it all gets too complex for a barely 11 year old to achieve.

Q: 'I feel a little sad that your expectations for your boys are so low, and I hope that the teachers bring out some good surprises for you.'

Please see my post of Sat at 20:57 (...'But the thing is, our non-attendance wouldn't be interpreted by the boys in any way, shape or form as non-interest: in reality, for DS1, it might be seen as a blessed relief from the endless high expectations we have for them!). There will be no 'good' surprises, there will be the confirmation that DS is a good, quiet, conscientious student who has done well enough in English, for example to be invited to attend a workshop with a 'name' author. I am not hugely surprised at this because I know DS has, with some pressure from home, worked hard at his English as, though he's able, he's not motivated in this subject.

I guess the reality is, with all respect to the posters who feel the same way, I believe I know the chosen school very well, considering the 2 years of blood, sweat and tears that went into a)selecting it and b) ensuring the DSs attendance! I wonder how many posters only ever got to attend one 'select your DCs's secondary' puff-piece evening are are therefore now using Parents Evening to try and find out more about the school their DC attends thus assume I'm 'missing' an opportunity?. I know DS, what he is capable of, how he is achieving, how he is managing being at secondary and so on, but above all, how straight forward his transition into secondary has been. He was well prepared both by his primary and by us and he's happy and as confident as a slightly anxious child can be expected to be at his school.

I would certainly see the point of end-of-year parents evenings and would attempt to see all the subject teachers (IF DS doesn't double book us!), but I remain to be convinced that we, or DS, or the school will get much bang for bucks out of tomorrow evening's Parents Eve.

But tell you what, I will report back honestly afterwards, OK?!

OP posts:
gramercy · 01/11/2010 10:41

I thought the same way about Yr 7 parents' evening.

I was surprised to be practically grasped by the collar by ds's Science teacher and told he wasn't doing well enough - after 8 weeks!

All the teachers knew who ds was (probably because he was sitting next to me! - that's a new thing) and exactly what he was expected to achieve. They seemed much more clued up than in my day when I know loads of the teachers couldn't care less if you were there or not and some even prided themselves on never learning a name.

pssst - ampere - my ds sits next to that child genius boy in maths - good move, I say. Much copying of homework potential!

LoopyLoupGarou · 31/10/2010 19:29

Oh, and by the way, I have always known the name and some details of my groups a couple of weeks in, by 8 weeks they should know them quite well in most subjects, even those they only have once per week.

LoopyLoupGarou · 31/10/2010 19:27

I feel a little sad that your expectations for your boys are so low, and I hope that the teachers bring out some good surprises for you.

By the way, why do you want to see so few subjects?

I believe that an early Y7 parent's evening is more to open the communication between school and parents, rather than really let you know how the kids are. I would have thought it advantageous to get an understanding of the personalities of his teachers, so that you know how to deal with future issues.

As for meeting the tutor, do you not have separate tutor review days?

spiderpig8 · 31/10/2010 19:19

The teachers who teach your DS maths and English will see him nearly every day,I should bloody hope they know who he is!
As others have said it is very different at secondary.
At my DSs'secondary the teachers tell some of teh kids they don't want to see their parents (where they teach multiple groups in a year and hav a limited number of slots) Otherwise they are expected to book all their teachers in.

piscesmoon · 31/10/2010 19:14

I would expect teachers to know my DC. I think it is important to get to know the teachers as soon as possible. I also want the school to know that I am a supportive,concerned, parent.

Kez100 · 31/10/2010 18:57

Is it a real full on parents evening? Our year 7's have two during the year - one after 7 weeks and thats really for issues and problems and then the real one, with a lot more to say, in the third term.

I would say that parents evenings are very important unless they are just the settling in ones and there is no issues flagged up on the interim report.

jetgirl · 31/10/2010 18:34

Whilst there might be an absence of issues now, something may arise later in the year and if you know a bit about your ds's teachers now, it might make it easier for you to feel you can contact them.

cat64 · 31/10/2010 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

roisin · 31/10/2010 18:17

I don't like the model of tutor meetings tbh TheFallenMadonna. Tutors usually know very little about how the children are getting on academically, or what the particular issues/difficulties are in a subject, or what they need to do to improve. It's all second hand information too.

I would much rather speak directly to subject teachers. By now they will have done a variety of different assessments and should have a clear idea of students' abilities and also whether they have gone backwards at all over the long break from SATs to starting secondary.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/10/2010 15:37

Are they having another parents evening later in the year? This is a crazy time to have it if it is the only one. We have a tutor meeting in the first half term, and then the proper consultation evening at the end of the year, which makes much more sense IMO.

TheFallenMadonna · 31/10/2010 15:35

You might hear something you don't expect to hear. You probably won't, but you might. I expect they will know who your DS is, but they won't know him terribly well - how could they?

I think it's important mostly for your DS TBH. If he's had a good start, it will be nice for him to hear his teachers tell you that. For you and the teachers, honestly, probably less important.

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