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Original poster

Ds was in tears as he's very unhappy at his new school.

68 replies

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 22:45

A couple of the boys have sworn at him, he was hit in the nose today making it bleed (the other boy did appologise and get him a tissue), he said he's finding it really hard to make friends and he's knackered as he's needing to wake up early to get to school on time.
It will get better won't it? Am I allowed to take him in a little later so he can sleep in or am I a wuss?

OP posts:
mummytime · 14/09/2010 06:14

Do try phoning the head of year, they are normally very clued up and caring with year 7s. And teachers can (and often are) be warned to keep an eye out for specific pupils.

Good luck.

Kushanku · 14/09/2010 06:10

My son is finding it hard to adjust too. He's been punched twice, first time for saying the wrong thing to a year 11 and then yesterday from the same year 11 just for a laugh (who then said he felt guilty, apologised, bought DS a yorkie bar and walked him half the way home!) I think sometimes the bigger boys just forget how much stronger they are than the year 7s. They have men's bodies, the year 7s are just little boys, there is no contest.

DS has made no friends as far as I am aware and is knackered from all the trailing around with a huge bag.

Valpollicella · 13/09/2010 23:46

x posts

BED

Valpollicella · 13/09/2010 23:46

Ah Belle, sounds completely and utterly shit for both of you Sad

Time for bed lady... It's late and you need to rest

Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:44

I need to go to bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:41

Yes, I'll remember and give you a nudge Smile The poor lads had a shit time over the past year. His grandfather had a massive stroke, his granny had treatment for bowel cancer, there was the problems with my mum, my crap health, the bullying, his dad being a twat. I'm not surprised he's sad Sad

OP posts:
Valpollicella · 13/09/2010 23:37

Belle, I have a couple of websites I can't message to you now as I have them on my FB page (which is playing silly buggers) but they are really useful in terms of strategies to cope with situations and potential bullying...

If you remember can you please remind me tomorrow and I can link them to you?

Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:32

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
solo · 13/09/2010 23:28

It's a very difficult time for a lot of children; a big change. I had several phonecalls during the first few weeks from a lovely member of staff ~ they really do want the children to settle in well, so I think a phonecall to the head of year is a good thing to do.

My Ds has just gone into year 8 and I'm hoping it'll be a better year for him (not off to a great start though).

Hope things improve fluffy, but children can be very cruel sadly :(

Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:27

I'm taking him in tomorrow so I can ask. I don't think they have a buddy system, I'll ask them this aswell.

The clocks are already fast, he knows about it though.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 23:24

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Pannacotta · 13/09/2010 23:19

I agree re after school/lunch time activities.
This would help him feel less alone and is a good way to make friends and build confidence, maybe something like swimming or tennis which are quite neutral and not too laddish.

Does the school have a buddy system?

Orangerie · 13/09/2010 23:19

Belle, one of my friends set up all the clocks in the house half an hour earlier. It made the trick.

It could help him while he gets used to the new routine.

Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:18

He's seen his old school friends, he's done nothing but say how sad he is to be leaving primary school all summer. I keep telling him that things change and that he'll still have his friends on facebook/youth club but he's just so sad.

There's no clubs running yet.

Thank you Smile
Thank you val Smile

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 13/09/2010 23:16

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blinder · 13/09/2010 23:15

Ok maybe it wasn't an assault. I'd still be speaking to the head of year.

Are there any after school clubs? Or lunchtime activities?

GrimmaTheNome · 13/09/2010 23:14

From your last post, it sounds like he wouldn't want the boy who hit him to get into trouble and my feeling is he'd be right, so long as it doesn't happen again.

Poor lad though. My DDs not having any problems like that AFAIK but has been piteously tired some evenings. She was voluntarily early to bed - there's no option of being late in the morning realistically. Everyone says they'll be knackered the first few weeks then adjust, it'd better be true!

Is your DS still in touch with his old school friends, can they maybe meet at weekends or at least text each other - that might help him a bit.

blinder · 13/09/2010 23:13

Also, in year 7 random friendships are common. Organise a cinema or bowling trip and get him to invite 3 classmates. Most 11 year old boys will gladly accept a free evening out IME.

colditz · 13/09/2010 23:13

I know this game. It sounds like the boy 'playing' it was a Klutz, as you're supposed to pull the punch and not make contact, making the recipent jump. If the boy apologised and got him a tissue, I would imagine that actually hitting youir son was not intended. I would explain that to your son, as it may make him feel better to know it was caused by idiocy rather than malice.

Valpollicella · 13/09/2010 23:13

Belle I'm so sorry to hear this...the last thing you need Sad

Blinder's post is very good - I would be asking to speak to the head of year too, or at least his tutor.

Thinking of you and your lovely boy Sad

Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:12

I'll try that Orangerie, it takes ages to get him to school though so it's a miracle that I manage to get him there on time.

OP posts:
Original poster
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 13/09/2010 23:11

He has a tutor group meeting first thing in the morning with his tutor but knowing ds he won't say anything. He really likes the teachers but he's finding it all so difficult.

OP posts:
Orangerie · 13/09/2010 23:10

belle, I think this has not been suggested. It is a small thing but can make a big difference if done in the early days of the school year.

Take him to school earlier. If he is the first to arrive, he will have a better chance to talk to other children before they get talking to their usual friends, and hopefully, just hopefully, he may get to befriend some of them.

GetOrfMoiLand · 13/09/2010 23:08

Definitely go in and speak to them Belle.

I went to a massive school, I remember the kids from the large feeder schools settled in a lot better than those kids from teh small juniors who only sent one or two kids a year. The school needs to know to keep an eye on him. Do they not have a mentoring scheme, or pastoral workers, with whom he can 'clock in' every day so he feels reassured and more secure?

Can you go in with him tomorrow morning and try and make an appointment with the year head or something? If not call rather than email, is more immediate.

Pannacotta · 13/09/2010 23:07

Sounds like a good plan.
I would be very upset in your shoes, it must be hard for your DS to know so few other kids.
If you fill the school in on the previous bullying then hopefully they can look out for him and encourage him and his confidence.

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