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Original poster

help me to help a 15 year old who has NO family support

58 replies

colditz · 06/08/2010 18:30

She wants to do a hairdressing course next year (she is nearly 16)

She has NO income, and lives with a friend of her distant relatives. The woman she lives with is elderly and disabled and cannot afford to pay for her equipment, which will come to around £200.

Her family won't. She says her mother will say she will help, but will bung her £10 and say she hasn't got any more. She is very stressed, saying she doesn't know how to get 'grants and stuff' and worried that she won't be able to start this course.

She is hell bent on doing this course. I really don't believe it's just a whim.

She's vaguely related to my neighbour, which is how I know her - the neighbour can't afford to help her at all.

What can I do to help this poor girl? I can't afford to pay for it myself or I would - but she needs the equipment by September.

I'm so, so angry that she is so worried about this, that she is even in a position that she is worrying about if she can afford to complete her education, I feel I must do something.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/08/2010 19:19

Well someone will be entitled to get child benefit for her until she is 19 and still in full time education so I'd def say that is the first thing to sort out! The person who she lives with may need to be the one phoning up to claim for it etc.

Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 19:18

her parents are both unemployed, so there is no money to be had from either of them.

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TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 06/08/2010 19:17

This sounds like the sort of thing she needs: discretionary support funds? For 'course-related equipment'...
If you poke around the directgov website there is more stuff about EMA etc as well.

If her parents were divorced, the non-resident one would have to keep funding her until she finished education IIRC, seems silly that there is no obligation on parents who are still together. But probably true.

Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 19:16

I don't now if the social services would be the right people to go to, I'd hate to think that they would insist on her being returned to her mother. She really has blossomed since moving out.

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Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 19:14

She isn't being fostered, the lady she lives with is receiving nothing for her, which is why she is so desperate to get some money qand a chance to earn some money via this college course.

When I think about how privileged and self centred I was at 15, and the chances I had regardless, I could weep for this kid.

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Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 19:13

According to her mother, no child benefit is being claimed for her.

I've just told her that she is to ring the child benefit line and find out if this is true, as the person she lives with and who feeds her should be the person claiming the child benefit.

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usualsuspect · 06/08/2010 19:08

The college should have some sort of student services support ...can she approach them? The college my ds is at has excellent student support

mummytime · 06/08/2010 19:05

Okay if she is staying with this person and is under 16, and this isn't a close relative, then this counts as a private fostering and social services should be involved. Then her social worker should be able to help her fund her course. Has she been in contact with Connexions?

I would say that both social services and connexions should be contacted. I bet her mother is still claiming child benefit for her. This does need to be formalised.

Acanthus · 06/08/2010 19:04

I think you're right, the college will have a hardship fund or cheap loan or something.

greenbananas · 06/08/2010 19:03

colditz - just wanted to add: it's v. sad about her mum, but the fact you're willing to take an interest in her welfare will probably go some way towards restoring her faith in human nature. She won't forget it. I've worked with some teenagers in truly awful situations who have been determined to make a go of things and have managed to do it. So once again, well done for helping her.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 06/08/2010 18:55

What about 'her' child benefit or foster money? College hardship fund?

Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 18:55

I have told her she must apply to the college.

I would hope they would have something like this in place. I feel so gutted for her, she's fifteen and she knows her mother cares so little about her future that she will refuse to help fund a college course.

She's a nice girl, she's not rude or illspoken or obnoxious. I think religion is at the heart of this - she won't go to the 'family' church.

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FessaEst · 06/08/2010 18:54

There are usually some local funds set up by local benefactors that you can apply to for this kind of thing. CYPS or your HV may know (it sounds odd but they have a list of places to apply for grants for if people need a new cooker or stair gates etc). Also, try CAB as they may well have a few ideas. She will surely be eligble for EMA, someone must be getting CB for her too. Does the college have any way of putting her in touch with past students - maybe some have dropped out after buying the uniform etc and would want to sell on cheaper etc etc.

greenbananas · 06/08/2010 18:54

The Princes Trust is a great idea - if they can't help, they may well be able to point her in the right direction. What about the Student Services department in the college she wants to go to? - they might have come across other students in the same position and maybe have a hardship fund or be able to suggest something. Also, Connexions? They are supposed to deal with this sort of thing. Their remit is young people between 13 and 19 years old.

There will definitely be support and/or grants for her out there somewhere. It's just a case of finding them and making sure she can access the right support. Well done you for helping her to fight her corner!

fluffles · 06/08/2010 18:53

who is paying for the college course?

it is likely the college will have a 'hardship fund' which she should apply to asap!

MaamRuby · 06/08/2010 18:52

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SixtyFootDoll · 06/08/2010 18:52

I had a quick look at the Prices trust site, she could apply for a grant through them.

veritythebrave · 06/08/2010 18:51

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CarGirl · 06/08/2010 18:51

Are there any other childrens' charities in your area? Def worth phoning them. I would ring the college and explain the situation perhaps they have a hardship loan thing or even a grant.

Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 18:50

You ask how she is supported - really, she isn't.

She isn't a carer for this lady but this lady isn't able to provide for her properly. She feeds her but that's it.

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Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 18:49

There are no paper rounds to be had. they are taken. She has tried, I have seen that she has tried.

People can't afford to go out so they aren't going out. Because of this, many women who are married and in their thirties with children of their own are babysitting in this town. She simply doesn't have the time to whip up this money.

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Original poster
colditz · 06/08/2010 18:47

She needs uniform, and the equipment is provided specifically by the college and they insist on everyone having the same.

She is already scrounging round for any work she can take but seriously, who wants a 15 year old cleaner when you can have a 32 year old one for the same price? I wouldn't leave my children with her, she's fifteen, and there are so many people my age scrounging round in the same way she is.

Young people have really been the losers in this past couple of years.

Her fucking useless parents should be paying for this. Or at least sorting it out for her.

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Acanthus · 06/08/2010 18:45

She needs to get a paper round and do some babysitting.

MaamRuby · 06/08/2010 18:41

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LoveMyGirls · 06/08/2010 18:41

dog walking? Cat feeding?

What if she puts a sign up in the corner shop saying what she needs the money for and is willing to do babysitting, pamper parties, dog walking, cat feeding, helping the elderly with anything they need?