Husband sulking when I ask for a weed-free day to reconnect

You have a weed smoking hubby? I wish you all the best.

Yes that’s textbook isn’t it? They didn’t drink/smoke “for you” or the opposite, how they only had to do it because of something you did or didn’t do. It’s all nonsense.

In Al-Anon they say you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can’t cure it.

One of the two friends I mentioned split with her husband because of lack of connection, because he was always more or less stoned and she felt alone. She also wanted kids and assumed he’d be just as disconnected as a father. Her dad was an alcoholic, a high earner from a prestigious background, fancy family etc who lost his job, company car etc due to alcohol and white knuckled it for a while.

Think about how you want your life to be.

He's a drug addict. Weed stinks. He must stink. His clothes will stink and (sorry) probably your house too. That's not nice - get rid

He sounds like a useless idiot. I’m sure he used to be nice when you married him but it seems like those days are long gone. LTB.

What a gormless oaf. People really deserve better than what they get at times.

So do something about it then and leave. Just listen to what you’ve just said ! What are you getting out of this relationship? Nothing - you deserve better

My friend’s husband was an alcoholic, and she stood by him way longer than she should have because she thought things like “oh, it’s an illness”, “he can’t help it”, “he had a bad childhood”, “I can help him”, “if I leave him he has no-one to help him”, etc.

Well it turns out you can’t help someone who doesn’t help themselves, who doesn’t want to change.

Your husband CAN help it, no-one forces him to buy weed, no-one forces him to smoke it,

This won’t get any better. Leave him.

Oh and my friend’s husband - if you’re wondering why I wrote in the past tense? He drank himself to death.

Please don’t waste years of your life on this loser like my friend did.

I don’t think the issue is weed, he just seems to be a bit of an arsehole really.

I’ve got nothing against people smoking pot, but if you smoke it every day it definitely blunts your edges. I smoked pot every day through my teens and early 20’s but somehow managed to avoid being an arsehole. The fella I lived with on the other hand, not so much. (Looking back he had unchecked adhd with shiny bells on, although he’d have still been an arsehole without it, just not so ‘extra’).

OP any addiction in your family? I’ve known three women with stoner husbands, two of them had parents who were addicts and both divorced. I didn’t know the third as well but her husband (in his 40s at the time) and his eldest son were both daily smokers and she had used recreationally in the past but had stopped. They were still together but he was so vague a lot of the time, she seemed to have compartmentalised it somewhat.
Think about how you got here.

I had kids with a stoner, I didn’t realise how badly addicted he was until we actually had a kid. AWFUL. My kids would have had a much better childhood if I left him but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He’s ruined my life and my kids life too. Do yourself a favour and get this loser in the bin. You can do a LOT better

He sounds grim ! You deserve better than a pot smoking a….hole.

I think I posted on your other thread. He is a pathetic stoner, but you won't listen you just keep asking us for ideas on coping with himand getting him to change8f he have . He will not change. You and your house must absolutely stink...
If you have a shred of self respect leave him.

Well he’s addicted to weed isn’t he so you actually don’t know the real him anymore and he can’t function until he’s had his fix. Which is why he’s in a mood. People who smoke it seem to try and justify it as harmless, being better than alcohol etc, but anyone I know or know of who smokes it are dependent on it. And if you are in a relationship with someone dependent on any sort of drug, you are not the priority and you are selling yourself short by being with someone like this. Not to mention the smell I couldn’t be with anyone who smokes weed daily for many reasons but also because the smell is disgusting.

Please don’t have babies with him.

You know what you need to do 😔

Leave that useless addict.

Stoners are boring beyond belief.

OP

This is now your second thread about this man in as many days. What does that tell you?. You had 5 pages of replies on your other thread and this one will
likely be the same.

You are in charge of your own destiny here and life with him is not going to get any better. And stop all this frankly stupid snf what if he can’t help it?. Noo d us forcing him to use weed; it’s an active choice he made of his own free will. Asking him to stop using weed is about as effective an action as peeing in the ocean. Only he can decide to knock the weed on the head snd currently he does not want to; he may never want to stop using either.

You have a choice re this man and you should return to the U.K. you can and should rebuild your life and as a part of that process get therapy re codependency.

You’re married to a drug addict, leave sooner rather than later, this isn’t going to get any better for you.

I had one of these. Useless fucker. The only time he seemed to like me and be a nice person was when he was stoned. Teacher

I need to get out but part of me is like oh what if he can’t help it

And why is that your problem.
Why get stuck with a stoner?
It's up to you but its not going to get any better for you.
Personally I'd cut my losses now rather to be in the same or worse situation in 10, 15 how ever many years down the line.

Is what you have now the future you want?

I had one of these. Might as well have been single. He was never really present. Wouldn't even go on holiday abroad as he wouldn't be able to smoke.

Useless waste of time.

He’s addicted.
If you asked an alcoholic or smoker not to smoke/ drink for a day they might to be resentful because they are an addict. I’d be asking to stop or accepting it is who he is . If he won’t stop then you have a choice .
sulking , weed smoker…….id think hard before having children.

He would be my ex...