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AIBU to be absolutely terrified of buying a house when I should be in a decent financial position?

58 replies

BeQuaintLion · 12/10/2026 22:06

I’m in my mid 30s and currently in the process of buying my first home, but I’m honestly driving myself mad with worry and wondering if anyone else has been like this.
I’m self employed and have worked really hard over the years to build up my savings. I’ve currently got around £155k saved, all my own money. My income can fluctuate being self employed but my average earnings over the last 3 years have been around £42-45k a year.
I’ve recently had an offer of £240k accepted on a property. It needs some updating but nothing too major hopefully, I’m budgeting around £15-20k to get everything how I want it.
The deposit is going to be £48k, although family are very kindly helping with £15k of that. The mortgage will be around £1050 a month and by my calculations I should still have somewhere around £95-100k left in savings once I’ve paid the deposit, renovated and covered the other costs.
I know on paper I’m probably in a better position than a lot of first time buyers and please don’t think this is a stealth boast because it really isn’t. I’ve worked bloody hard for every penny and I think that’s actually part of the problem. I’m absolutely terrified of losing what I’ve spent years building up.
I keep thinking what if my business slows down, what if I stop earning as much, what if mortgage rates go through the roof, what if the house ends up needing thousands spending on it that I haven’t budgeted for. Just constant what ifs.
I’ve even found myself sitting there working out how many years I could pay the mortgage out of my savings if I never worked another day in my life. Sounds ridiculous writing it down but that’s genuinely where my head is at.
I actually pulled out of purchasing another property recently because it needed a huge amount of work and there were some fairly concerning issues with it. The property I’m buying now seems a much more sensible option and I do really like it.
I just can’t seem to get past the fear of committing myself to such a huge financial responsibility. One minute I’m excited and looking at kitchens and bathrooms, the next I’m convincing myself I’m going to end up bankrupt and lose everything.
I know I can’t sit on my savings forever and I do want to actually enjoy some of what I’ve worked for. I also know that nothing in life is guaranteed and I can’t predict what’s going to happen in 5, 10 or 20 years time.
I think I’m just struggling with the idea of parting with such a large amount of money and taking on a mortgage for the next 35 years.
Has anyone else been like this? Especially anyone self employed? Did you eventually just bite the bullet and get on with it?

AIBU to be worrying this much or do I need to give my head a wobble and just get on with it?
Genuinely interested in people’s opinions, even if it’s to tell me I’m being ridiculous!

OP posts:
BeQuaintLion · 24/10/2026 21:17

hotcrossbrum · 24/10/2026 21:04

have you been making pension provision too? It’s tax efficient, and, speaking as another self employed person, reassuring to know there’s some future income working away in the background. As long as you’ve got a year’s salary saved, you can afford to unclench a little - psychologically hard though it can be!

Haha unclench 😂 that made me chuckle! I do worry so much but i’ve got to move. I’m currently in social housing (which i acquired in a time of need before someone shoots me down), but the neighbours that have moved in around me are really getting me down. It’s all very run down and grim. I also think it’s right to release the property back so that it can be allocated to someone in need

OP posts:
BeQuaintLion · 24/10/2026 21:19

BeQuaintLion · 24/10/2026 21:17

Haha unclench 😂 that made me chuckle! I do worry so much but i’ve got to move. I’m currently in social housing (which i acquired in a time of need before someone shoots me down), but the neighbours that have moved in around me are really getting me down. It’s all very run down and grim. I also think it’s right to release the property back so that it can be allocated to someone in need

and yes i have been making personal and company contributions to a pp

OP posts:
Gabriel19876 · 24/10/2026 21:24

When I bought my first house I almost willed the mortgage company to message me and say there's been a mistake and you can't have it so that I could just just put the silly notion behind me. I was convinced something would go wrong.

Genuinely, you will be fine! Congratulations.

BeQuaintLion · 24/10/2026 22:30

Gabriel19876 · 24/10/2026 21:24

When I bought my first house I almost willed the mortgage company to message me and say there's been a mistake and you can't have it so that I could just just put the silly notion behind me. I was convinced something would go wrong.

Genuinely, you will be fine! Congratulations.

Strangely enough i’ve been having these thoughts 😂, almost if it gets cancelled due to no action of my own then it would seem better 😂

OP posts:
Hellohelga · 25/10/2026 09:45

You are making a great move for your long term future. Just wondering why you don’t pay down more of the equity from your savings to have a smaller monthly payment? If you paid off 100k you would have a mortgage of only 140k. If your self employment income was down for a time you could switch to interest only and it would be less than £600 per month (140k at 5% is £580).

It would also get you a lower mortgage rate as your loan to value ratio would be lower. You plan on borrowing 192k which is 80% of 240k but 140k is only 58%. I think a mortgage broker could get you a really good deal on that basis.
ETA you can currently get 4.99% for a 60% LTV mortgage from first direct fixed for three years.

Grasshopperhopping · 25/10/2026 15:34

Congratulations! I may have missed it but are you planning to invest the cash savings? If not, and your savings rate is lower than your mortgage, put more into the house deposit, or invest so you’re not losing out

daisychain01 · 25/10/2026 19:22

BeQuaintLion · 12/10/2026 22:18

I think liquidity is important as self employed income can and does fluctuate

You are right to be cautious.

I keep thinking what if my business slows down, what if I stop earning as much

have you thought about the impact of AI on your business? Many small businesses are. Could AI reduce or eliminate your products and services? If not, then you have less to be concerned about. If so I would consider securing employment that isn't something AI will remove.

you need a role where AI enhances your productivity to give you some certainty of income at least for the first few years of your mortgage, and you can build your confidence and maybe trying to overpay for a year or too. As with everything there is more than one perspective on AI but it's not something to ignore.

WanderleyWagon · Today 09:00

I was also very anxious buying my last property. I think you are wise to think about liquidity; you can always make overpayments to the mortgage to help bring the loan to value ratio down but at your own pace. One of the best things I did in the end was to take a lodger - it pays more than half the mortgage each month and has allowed me to build up my savings as well as providing friendly company.

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