I’m in my mid 30s and currently in the process of buying my first home, but I’m honestly driving myself mad with worry and wondering if anyone else has been like this.
I’m self employed and have worked really hard over the years to build up my savings. I’ve currently got around £155k saved, all my own money. My income can fluctuate being self employed but my average earnings over the last 3 years have been around £42-45k a year.
I’ve recently had an offer of £240k accepted on a property. It needs some updating but nothing too major hopefully, I’m budgeting around £15-20k to get everything how I want it.
The deposit is going to be £48k, although family are very kindly helping with £15k of that. The mortgage will be around £1050 a month and by my calculations I should still have somewhere around £95-100k left in savings once I’ve paid the deposit, renovated and covered the other costs.
I know on paper I’m probably in a better position than a lot of first time buyers and please don’t think this is a stealth boast because it really isn’t. I’ve worked bloody hard for every penny and I think that’s actually part of the problem. I’m absolutely terrified of losing what I’ve spent years building up.
I keep thinking what if my business slows down, what if I stop earning as much, what if mortgage rates go through the roof, what if the house ends up needing thousands spending on it that I haven’t budgeted for. Just constant what ifs.
I’ve even found myself sitting there working out how many years I could pay the mortgage out of my savings if I never worked another day in my life. Sounds ridiculous writing it down but that’s genuinely where my head is at.
I actually pulled out of purchasing another property recently because it needed a huge amount of work and there were some fairly concerning issues with it. The property I’m buying now seems a much more sensible option and I do really like it.
I just can’t seem to get past the fear of committing myself to such a huge financial responsibility. One minute I’m excited and looking at kitchens and bathrooms, the next I’m convincing myself I’m going to end up bankrupt and lose everything.
I know I can’t sit on my savings forever and I do want to actually enjoy some of what I’ve worked for. I also know that nothing in life is guaranteed and I can’t predict what’s going to happen in 5, 10 or 20 years time.
I think I’m just struggling with the idea of parting with such a large amount of money and taking on a mortgage for the next 35 years.
Has anyone else been like this? Especially anyone self employed? Did you eventually just bite the bullet and get on with it?
AIBU to be worrying this much or do I need to give my head a wobble and just get on with it?
Genuinely interested in people’s opinions, even if it’s to tell me I’m being ridiculous!