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Original poster

OMG!

210 replies

CardyMow · 22/06/2010 13:13

Could they POSSIBLY hit low single income families worse? Freezing child benefit for 3 years, abolishing the Health in pregnancy grant from April 2011, Getting rid of the baby element on CTC (how that helps us when I'm 3 months pg and DP only earns £16,000 is beyond me...), Lowering the thresholds for Housing benefit (we won't be able to pay our rent without the money we get on housing benefit), saying that people in social housing may no longer have a reasonable housing benefit allowance or entitlemnet for a suitably sized property. I note that they are CUTTING tax rates for businesses. Nice to know that they are hitting the poorest of us that chose to work. We are now in the situation where we are really going to have to consider whether we can AFFORD for my DP to have the luxury of having a job when we will be so much worse off than we would be on benefits, I think we may end up homeless otherwise. It might make DP feel like more of a human being to go out to work and slog his guts out for £16,000 pa, but if we can't feed our kids and pay our rent....

OP posts:
tartyhighheels · 22/06/2010 19:31

the Tory government that I voted for, who promised not to hurt people in my situation, have done exactly that.

tbh Loudlass, this is your biggest problem.... they are Torie dear, this is what they do..... and as someone explained to you earlier, you will be no worse off because of the tax threshold being raised and the increase in ctc.

You are ranting about how shite you think your life is rather than this having anything to do with the budget. At least you have a protected tenancy and have a roof over your head. We all have our cross to bear, I have two disabled children, one on higher rate dla and the other on middle, i get carers allowance and we have plenty of money but i would chuck it all over for healthy children - I am pregnant (very intentionally) and have an 18 month old too - I am extremely lucky and it has fuck all to do with money or my housing.

Sorry but get a bloody grip and stop moaning, you can spend your life bitching about all the excuses you make as to why you are where you are now but just get on with it and stop blaming anyone and everything for your life and take responsibility.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 19:28

That would mean that poor people would be the ones going for terminations. Don't be shy, say what you mean.

londonone · 22/06/2010 19:25

No, ALL people should consider whether they can afford to have children before they do so and if they can't they should make sure they don't have them. It's not that difficult millions of people manage it, hence most people not having 10 or 11 kids.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 19:21

Poor people should have abortions.... dear god.

Londonone I'm assuming that your entire life has been perfectly planned and managed?

SleepyCaz · 22/06/2010 19:19

The ones by me are like clockwork, every 3 months! Check the website.

The budget has been quite nasty and a lot of people have been affected. I hope you manage to find a way through it.

londonone · 22/06/2010 19:16

Of course it is a choice and if you feel that strongly about it then it is up to you not to get your self into that position. However you are unwilling to do that. You are unwilling to be celibate, you are unwilling to terminate, both choices but you think that the state should pay for the fall out. Banging on about Nazis isn't going to help you being responsible might. If you really can't afford a child and you really can't terminate then don't have sex, it's not rocket science.

Original poster
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 19:15

SleepyCaz, everybody is entitled to their opinion, and in an ideal world, but for the grace of god, a few years ago, and a few changes in circumstances ago, I am pretty sure I would have been of the same opinions (at least on certain issues). I however have grown up, had life bite me on the backside enough and have realised that with the best will in the world, we don't live in Utopia, and not everyone can have perfect cushy lives.

I'd forgotten about the nearly new sales, got loads for the others at one, wonder if it's still being run?!

OP posts:
SleepyCaz · 22/06/2010 19:10

Loudlass try NCT Nearly New sales. I sold my Bumbo seat, Moses basket, stand, Babasling and loads more, all for very very low prices. I also BOUGHT loads of things for DC1 at an earlier sale, then sold it again at a further one! They are fantastic. Look on the Mumsnet local page.

PS Try not to be disheartened, opinions emotions are running high in lots of families today.

Original poster
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 19:07

How is being unwilling to kill something that has a central nervous system and a heartbeat a 'lifestyle choice'? If you did that with a cat or dog, killed them because you no longer had the money to look after them, you can be prosecuted, yet it's a lifestyle choice not to kill a human being that can feel pain?? Sorry, will agree to disagree there. It's a bit fascist to say that because DP is on a low wage, and I am unable to work due to my disability that I should in some way be forced to kill another human being. Did I wake up in Nazi Germany somewhere along the line??

OP posts:
londonone · 22/06/2010 19:03

You cannot afford another child. NO ONE in this country has to have a baby contraception failure or not. Why should the state shell out for you to have 4 children 2 of which were unplanned but you were unwilling to terminate the pregnancies due to your "beliefs". Sorry but the state is there to provide a safety net not a lifestyle. You can't work due to medical reasons fine you should receive support for that, your choice to have four children you can ill afford is simply irresponsible and the state shouldn't have to pay for that.

Original poster
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 19:02

And it's impossible to even get 'little' jobs like avon/ baking with my disability. It'd be nice to have anything worth selling. A few years ago, I was in bad debt (have worked our way out of it now, just), and had a baillif come in. He actually rang his boss to say that I had nothing that they were allowed to take! You can't do a car boot without a car either. And obviously, my sex life is far more important than the fact that the Tory government that I voted for, who promised not to hurt people in my situation, have done exactly that. The rich don't seem to be suffering in the way we are going to. Why could they not raise income tax for those on over £100,000 pa to 50%? Why take it out on those in society who have no other way of supporting themselves? Why not castigate the stupid (Labour) government who have been keeping wages artificially low for 12 years so that you can no longer get a proper wage for a full time, essential job? Why belittle a family who are trying to work, and not the ones that I know with 6 or more dc's that have never worked, never will, and don't have any SN in their families?

OP posts:
Original poster
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:54

Nopoe, no carers allowance as she has lots of 'little' things, not one big thing. My house wouldn't be so bad if they were all girls or all boys, but my eldest (12yo) is a girl, my younger 2 (8yo and 6.5yo) are both boys, and I have a sneaky suspicion that bump is a girl...and DD's room is not big enough for a full size BED(she's still in a junior bed despite being 12yo and 5ft 1!) let alone anyone else. tbh although it would be quite nice if bump is a girl, I'm kind of hoping that it's a boy, if only for practical, space reasons!

OP posts:
nickschick · 22/06/2010 18:54

This is truly dreadful I feel very sorry for the op and think she is being unfairly treated by several of you.

She can only sell stuff on ebay or at a car boot if its worth selling - on a limited income shes hardly going to have brand new boden to sell is she? to make cupcakes and sell to a grocery store sounds idyllic in reality shed need a food hygeine cert and be blkoody good at baking to do it .....avon?? with all her dc in tow?

Its not forever, her dc will grow and she will find work for now she needs support and shes very upset that the rug has been pulled from under her.

Why go on about her sex life?.

LynetteScavo · 22/06/2010 18:51

Why has Loudlass had to explain the ins and outs of her entire life to justify her OP?

Her family would be better off financially if her DH gave up work and claimed benefits.(So I'm lead to believe I haven't worked it out)

It does say a lot for our basic benefit system, V minimum wage.

Original poster
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:50

It's not so much my attitude to 'life' as the shitty hand that life has dealt me, and yes, I do take personal responsibilty for some of the more daft things I did when I was younger. Refusing to have a termination when I fell pg at 16 (despite being on the pill, no-one told me that a tummy bug would stop it from working) due to my beliefs didn't exactly help me to gain any useable qualifications.

Expecting that my first 2 dc's father wouldn't be a cheating bastard that wont pay maintenance when he fucked off with a new model was a huge mistake. Not being able to see into the future wrt being diagnosed with a disability after having my third child, well that was a rather difficult point. Of course, If I had been able to see into the future that I would be unable to work, I may well have stopped at one or two dc's. In my defence, I had an awful childhood, in and out of foster care.

I suppose my DD being diagnosed with all her different problems could have been avoided too? Or the fact that the man I fell in love with is never going to be a high earner? Should I have based my decision on who to fall in love with based on their income alone?

Gingernut, I hope it's not too bad for you, I'm going to wait to see how it all shakes out, but am petrified that we are going to be in the situation where the only way to survive is for DP not to work....

OP posts:
Aduby · 22/06/2010 18:46

Loudlass, are you eligible for carers allowance re your SN DC? I have only recently found out I was and it has made a big difference.

misdee · 22/06/2010 18:45

you will be entitled to the HIP grant though, as will hit 25 weeks before they remove it.

am sure you will be fine.

and good luck with dc4.

btw we have 4 dd's in a 3 bed house. we are not considering moving as dont want to.

my dh earns 10k less than your dh and tbh we arent overly concerned.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:45

20% from now on am afraid!

TheJollyPirate · 22/06/2010 18:44

I don't think anyone is saying that sex is a right but it's a neccessity for many relationships. To those of you better off - try telling your partner/DH that sex is off limits if you fall on harder times - many men would leave after a year or so of that.

Sex happens and despite contraception pregancy happens sometimes too. Get over it and stop hassling the OP about her relationship. It's not easy - she has a disability and so does one of her children - now you want to deny her a sex life because you - oh poor you - are a taxpayer - AND SO IS THE OP's DH.

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:44

oooh are they chocolate bourbons? Or do they have VAT on them? LOL

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:43

Good, play nicely or nobody will get any bisquits!

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:41

well said onlywantsone

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:40

erm ... haven't we all?

my last post was written as support to the OP

OnlyWantsOne · 22/06/2010 18:40

I, for one was not harranging her for her love life, more her attitude about life and relationships.

Here, have a

TheJollyPirate · 22/06/2010 18:40

It's hard loudlass - I am in essex too and have a child with SN. I am fortunate enough that I only have the one child (my body doesn't do pregnancy) so the cuts are going to affect me very minimally (I think). Although as a public sector worker I have a 2 year pay freeze but as I'm on less than 20k I'll get £250 both years which is better than nothing.

Hope things work out okay for you as it sounds like this budget is going to hit your family hard.