Going into a care home? to pay or not to pay..?

Sorry I don't know how to delete a post or edit it so here it is again -

alypaly

I had absolutely no idea that a care home was so expensive. I think it is something people don't plan for. As a forty year old - I hope that I will never have to go into residential care and I thnk my mother, who is now 80, thought the same and now it is a reality we must face. I just wish we had put this in mind years ago.

expatinscotland

Like you say expat - we must teach our children how to become self-sufficient and to plan financially for the future. As it is, local authorities will assist if your assets are below a certain amount www.mmcgcarehomes.co.uk/information.asp?article=26

If my dad was still alive I can't help but think all of this would be much harder but at least they could be together in a home maybe.

alypaly

I had absolutely no idea that a care home was so expensive. I think it is something people don't plan for. As a forty year old - I hope that I will never have to go into residential care and I thnk my mother, who is now 80, thought the same and now it is a reality we must face. I just wish we had put this in mind years ago.

expatinscotland

Like you say expat - we must teach our children how to become self-sufficient and to plan financially for the future. As it is, local authorities will assist if your assets are below a certain amount Paying For Care

If my dad was still alive I can't help but think all of this would be much harder but at least they could be together in a home maybe.

Tbh, my gran would have been happy anywhere she was kept clean, warm and fed. She was in a world of her own and Alzheimers was kind to her - she was pretty content until she died in her sleep.

It was my grandpa who benefitted from staff who seemed to enjoy their work, were respectful & loving towards the residents and tried to keep things as "homelike" as possible. He was in his 90s, in a failing body but with a mind that was as sharp as it had been 50 years before. That's more scary to me.

My gran would walk up and down the corridors, quite content, going only she knew where. My grandpa would mourn the fact that she wouldn't sit beside him so he could "feast his eyes" on his beloved wife of 65 years.

Thank god they had some cash and didn't end up in separate rooms which would have been the case in a lot of places my dad and his brother looked at. My gran died in her sleep and my grandpa never spoke again. He died 3 days later from a broken heart.

Worth every penny of my father's inheritance

I hope to go the Dignitas route the second I feel I'm losing my grip on reality, I just hope I can recognise it.

we had a scare last year with my (American) grand mother. She was being discharged from hospital, but needed more nursing care with the possibility that she would stay there for a long period.

Anyway, when she came home after 2 weeks because she was better, she was calling up family and friends bragging that she got into the fancy nursing home . She later told me that amongst the senior citizen crowd, it's actually quite competitive - the nursing home your family gets for you. .

At one stage, they were all going on weekly tours of them, getting free lunch in the process, touring the facilities, financial advisors on hand etc.

Ouch, SGM.

I meant more nursing care vs residential care vs sheltered accommodation; hopefully many of us will never need to go as far as nursing care...

Dementia/AD is the real problem, isn't it. You can cope at home or sheltered through a lot of physical deterioration (with support, obviously), but once dementia sets in,you really need 24hr supervision...

With people living to such old ages and therefore the possibility they'll develop a condition like dementia, we're sitting on a time bomb.

(that was in ref to your £1m btw)

That's probably the Rolls-Royce of care homes, onebadbaby, I'm sure there are price levels in between, before you get down to the state-funded option (clapped-out Metro with the exhaust hanging off)

longfingernails

I have only just come back to this after posting yesterday and just wanted to respond to your patronising reply. I do fully understand what an insurance policy is but I still fail to see how this will work.

Even if the take up rate is 1 in 5, and I suspect it would be higher (I've paid for it so I'll use it comes to mind) that £40,000 pot plus interest is not going to go very far if care homes currently cost up to £53,000 per year.

My grandparents went into a care home for the last 3 years of their lives because my gran had Alzheimers.

It was funded by their savings, their house and finally when all that was gone, the state paid.

It was a lovely place. They were as happy as they could have been somewhere other than their own home.

NO WAY would they have got in there if they couldn't have funded it themselves.

A friend was looking for a care home for her mother. Again, it was lovely. No smell of wee and stuck infront of MTV 12 hours a day on plastic chairs there. They needed evidence of at least £1 million in assets before they'd consider her - luckily her mother had a big house to sell.

Don't worry "scrimpers and savers". The poor will get the shitty end of the stick again. Your money will continue to buy you a better life.

it is 7 years that social services can go back into a clients bank account and believe me every penny spent has to be accounted for ( hence 7 files over 5 years of heart wrenching....emotional timewasting).

On a previous point about the british emigrating for their retirement. I know alot of british people who have "emigrated" but dont stay out their the full 12 months so that they can come back for the NHS and i have also dispensed many a free 6 month prescription so that they can then take their medication to spain for the next 6 cosy months. PLease please....if you want to emgigrate dont hang on to our NHS ....if you choose a country where you have to pay,then so be it but please dont come back for free meds. best of both worlds comes to mind

Funding your own care gives you choice (as having money does in most aspects of life). We have some distant relatives who are in their late 80's/early 90's both frail and wandered who until recently lived at home with some support - which they have paid for, as I understand the LA provision was woeful. They now can't do that so have moved into residential care - an apparently wonderful twin en-suite room was all bells and whistles. If they had been dependent on Social Services providing this care they would apparently have been luck to be placed in the same home never mind the same room. Their house has just been sold for the cost of their care, monthly £3k I think. Their family are delighted. Money has given them the option of longer at home and a happier end to their days.

I know how I would prefer my parents and ils to end their days. And whilst it would be wonderful there is no way the State could provide this level of care for all.

True, Porto, and also, people didn't live so long as they do now.

Again, when the system was set up, I don't think it was possible to foresee so many living for so long.

The position of carers for CHILDREN though is totally different. It does sound as if there should be a way to make a legal provision in these cases. Something for a new MN campaign?

I think the trouble is, that at the time the system was set up, people tended to look after their own family. No one ever forsaw long term care home needs in the wonderful NHS - at least not for the majority of elderly people.

Fair enough, most people have to work these days. If you are not available to look after Granny and she needs looking after, someone else must be paid to do so. Therefore it is reasonable that if Granny has money, and you are not prepared or able to do the necessary, then the care home gets the cash, and not you. You can't have it both ways!

BTW
I am sorry if I am seeming a bit twatty talking about the position of carers. I know it sounds like I am invoking my situation which is specific onto a general issue.
But actually the position of carers is interesting to me and as there are
a huge number of carers it is not irrelevent

Oh stewie.
I would love the community to sort out DS2s care when I am dead or dithering.
But based upon the last 13 years That Isn't Going To Happen.
He is in a fantastic school for which I am grateful every single day. But the rest of his care is down to us and always will be.

Dh and I save hard to try and leave enough money behind so that DS1 and DD can pay for what he needs when we are gone.
I would make a pact with the devil now if I could be sure that he will not be left to the vagaries of state support/care when I am gone

at cool rosaries

I hope to have a few things that important religious people have touched that mum is holding on to ....

" No one deserves an inheritance"

um. As Ds2 will never be able to work I really hope that isn't true