Friendships and Trump

It sounds to me like you are doing the right things. I think the key is to remember is that that she really doesn't see it as murder, in just the same way as you (perhaps, I don't know you) really don't see abortion as murder.

So if you say to her "I can't see how a Christian can support this murder [ICE]" it sounds to her like you are deliberately leaping over the absolute crux question for the purposes of making a personal attack. Just like if she said "I can't see how a mother can support this murder [abortion]", you would feel she had deliberately leapt over the key bit for the purposes of making a personal attack.

Was the ICE case murder? I can only give my own view, from facts that might also be unreliable: to me it looked like murder and I'm not a lawyer, but I think there's enough room that reasonable people can differ.

That room comes from these facts (if all true): murder is a legal term, so legalities are absolutely central to this; the ICE guy was hospitalised with internal bleeding, i.e. was hit by the SUV; the ICE guy had previously told her to get out of the car, and she instead reversed and then drove in his direction. I highly doubt she intended to kill him. But the fact is that she'd been told (in effect) to put down a deadly weapon, and instead had discharged it at him, grazing him in a way that could, had it been slightly different, have been extremely serious. In such circumstances the law (at least in England, which obviously this wasn't) gives extremely wide latitude to people to act in self-defence, and does not expect them to be fully rational or proportionate as they might be in the cold light of day, un-attacked. Now this guy was trained so maybe different standards apply to him.

As I say, my guess is if I saw the whole evidence base and were on the jury, I'd vote to convict. But I also don't think that only a monster would acquit. Nor that someone who empathises with the man hit by a car while doing his job is lacking in empathy, they just empathise with a different party based on their different reading.

Only with Americans. Not a slight on them at all but they take politics much more personally than we do. I have friends with very, very different political beliefs in the UK and we're quite happy to either debate with eachother, disagree about it and still be friends in the end, or just not talk about politics at all.

With my American friends it's much more... Pick a side and anyone on the other side is the enemy and an awful, terrible person. I've got American friends who've cut off their whole family due to political leanings. Not saying British people don't do that of course, but politics being a huge part of your personal identity seems to be a more US mindset.

It sounds like you escalated in this situation, but realise it and have held out the olive branch.

It sounds like she genuinely values your friendship and cares enough to write and to be candid. And you care enough too to want to rescue things.

I hope you work it out.

If there is a war it will be Putin who starts it

I have friends who are very left and some very right
We all get along and banter and discuss
You have to accept that people have the right to hold a different opinion to you - or you just live in a narrow echo chamber where you all just pat each other on the back and nod sagely

z

You either both agree not to discuss politics and ignore what the other posts, or the friendship will end.

That has to be two way though. She can't expect you to keep schtum, whilst she continues to go on about how wonderful Trump is.