How to talk to my friend who is hyper emotional towards her country and she can't seem to understand why I am not a supporter of the country, despite me being born there...

@sonjadog

7 years later no change in them . worst part was the 1 year new immigrant ordering people who are already settlers or about to be. They think themselves to be instrumental for polarisation where ever they live/lived.

It sounds hilarious that you force to sort to vague response? when they are being themselves and 100 allowed to be like themselves , everyone else too right?

Why are you trying to tune the world to the comfort of extremists? yes they are happy if someone go vaguely or topic change but stick around them . That is very of them , and their tunes.

Anyway, I am now happy to avoid all Indian trumpist, nethanyahist, puthinist,

btw they all hate one country ,actually that is not Pakistan but China 😀

This is very common among immigrants and has to do with them negotiating and finding their identity in the new culture. It will probably calm down in a while as she feels more integrated and at home in the US. In the meantime, I would avoid conversations about this and if she starts, give a vague response and move the conversation onto something else.

All BJP's in/out India are hardcore Trumpists, you can safely call them Namaste Trump batch😂

I realised about them , once when a person who came to UK just 1 year before the called to all Hindus to vote against Labour for speaking for Kashmirwhen article 370 repealed in 2019 by the Indian government

The same people needed labour support for better immigration policy, once They get visa and move out of India , They wish only Trump should rule the world 😎

@HAB75

You hit the nail. However OP can not comeout the rat race od the India's extreme religious nationalism as most people pretend or lean to them to avoid isolation , Just one extremeist in the group is enough everyone should shut or fallow.

many times they all sound like pakistan army + militants . worst part is Indians who are not Hindu try pleasing these groups to be safe.

In my experience, both CNN and MSNBC use facts to back up their statements.

Lol. She sounds like a Trump supporter in America.

Where did you read that India was 'the most corrupt country in the world'? India is ranked 96/180 in this well-known index on corruption - perceived as less corrupt than Ukraine, Turkey, Mexico, Pakistan, Egypt, Nigeria ...

https://www.transparency.org/en/cpi/2024

Do you think the army would want an untrained thirty something woman who lives abroad in a very different culture?

Probably think she was an ( incompetent) spy.

Some people just can't let go. I live in London but am from the north of England.
I don't go on about how great it is.
The way I see it, if it's that great, what are you doing here? It's offensive to your host country. Saying that, wild horses couldn't drag me to the USA now.

Omg these comments 🤣 Nothing wrong with having a bit of pride about where you're from. Why don't you just agree to disagree and close discussion on the subject. My BFF have opposing political views so it's a subject we avoid

I, too, was thinking that someone should ask her why she's working so patiently to live elsewhere.

OP, no one is obliged to love their ancestral country, and it sounds as though you were polite and clear about your objections. It seems pointless to argue with someone who may either be uninformed or irrational, so you can just say politely that the two of you won't agree. But you could also hand her any articles from a British news outlet that support your views, and point out problems like the ill-treatment of women, poor literacy rate, etc.

If she loves India so much why does she want to be a resident if the usa? Very odd. Don't be bullied by her, you are entitled to say and feel how you like, she cannot control you with her thoughts and feelings. Tell her you must agree to disagree and no longer wish to talk about it....If she cannot agree to that, she is not the friend you think she is...l really hope you can sort it out, good luck.

Cut her off - she's clearly a nut job... and if she continues like this she's likely to end up red flagged by the security services....

First of all i absolutely hate it when people say - oh if it’s so great move there 🙄🤮childish stupid argument

I’ve been living in the uk for last 20 years, I don’t feel British I don’t feel my original nationality either. I feel the uk is my home, it’s not perfect but I love it.

Some people from my country make it their mission to constantly prove how $hit the uk is. I think they have a chip on their shoulder and insecurities so they pick on the things that the high and mighty United Kingdom is failing and in what ways our country is better like it was some sort of contest. Sometimes I get into an argument sometimes I just shut it down. It usually comes from the ones that didn’t open themselves to fully embrace British culture, have no British friends so have no idea, just live in their little closed minded bubbles.

She’s probably homesick in some ways and misses the ease with which she navigated life in the country she grew up in. I’m a second generation immigrant and I love a lot of the culture etc but yeah I can definitely see the problems.

Theres a term for when minorities feel under attack (I can’t remember what it is sorry) but they basically double down when feeling under threat. As an American you probably remember the recent wave of anti-indian sentiment targeted at some ethnically Indian politicians so she’s probably feelings a bit sore about that too. Plus of course she’s worked up about the recent conflict, it’s still means a lot to her that her country suffered a terrorist attack and then on the brink of war. I would expect any recent immigrant to care about their home country in those circumstances.

This may be down to her guilt. Some people who leave behind a country feel a lot of guilt. She may be reducing her guilt by jumping up and down about how great India is, so that she doesn't have to think about leaving behind an awful lot of poor people. If she pretends it is a nirvana, she doesn't have anything to feel guilty about.

I mean, that doesn't excuse any of this stuff that goes over the top. The Kashmir thing has been going on since when, 1947? It was frightening when it reached the news last week - I was alarmed because it is always anxiety-inducing when two nuclear countries get going at each other. But this has been going on for 80 years, and the majority of Kashmiri people want to be independent or Pakistani. Her jumping up and down about joining the army to defend India was 100% ridiculous.

Then, if I were in your shoes, I'd be genuinely put out by someone pretending 900 million compatriots are in the pink, when they are living in dire poverty, regardless of whether it was my country. Perhaps she just can't cope with such a mind-blowing figure, but it sounds like she is romanticising their strife away. I'd say that, in a daft way, she could be deflecting guilt at getting out for an easier life - that would explain the strength of her feeling. It happens everywhere - people in the UK pretend that the poverty line under which so many millions of children live is some sort of arbitrary figure, wilfully ignoring that it is a UN global measure. It is very hard for some people to accept.

If it goes on much longer, perhaps you might need to get ready to walk away. Guilt or not, it is always hard to deal with another's extreme views, whatever they might be. It is exhausting to have to think constantly about avoiding the triggers. But at least guilt might be an explanation for her over the top patriotism and negation of the facts. I don't know if that makes it easier or harder!

The difference between you is she was born AND raised there so that is her homeland that she is passionate about. You won’t change that. The best thing to do is to not get involved in these types of conversations with her. My MIL is Indian, partner obvs Indian heritage but born and raised in England. My MIL has blind loyalty to India even though she’s lived in England far longer than she lived in India. And I get it, that will always be her ‘home’ so I refuse point blank to have any of these conversations with her because it’s like banging my head against a brick wall.

Some people can't bear it if you don't agree with them

Probably, it is tricky even for people living in India, I am Indian, she got her brain washed due to her parents insecurities, though it doesn't help.yes she brings it up because she is being brainwashed to not get influenced by you. How can you take away her insecurity towards you?

It's very common with ex pats to have very strong views of their country of origin. In fact you find that some become more traditional than those at home.

Just change the subject.

Neither of you are crazy - she grew up and loved it there, you didn't - it's more an inability to understand each other's emotional attachment to where they grew up on both parts.