Unwritten social codes in England

I don't think drinking is a class issue at all!

I have a foreign mother so the class thing totally bypassed me growing up. I have no idea what class I am or what I'm supposed to say or do. I don't think my dad ever mentioned class at all.

When I went to university I found people were very keen to pigeon hole me in the class they decided I was and I find it all very narrow minded and snobby/reverse snobby.

I say I'm going to the bathroom when I need a wee. No idea if that's posh or not!

I say "I need a waz." Don't know what that says about my (lack of) class.

I can't abide all this conformity crap.

My Dad's neighbours were all discussing some people who were moving into their street and said "there are some very naice cars on the drive" (whilst standing next to my 16 year old rust bucket KA). Can't abide this sort of British nosey busy-body judgyness.

Does it happen in other countries, I wonder?

"One things that stands out for me about the MC is they tend to have a very binary view of things - there is right way to do something and everything else is just wrong, hence you can tell when you are in a predominately MC area because everything looks the same . WC and UC seem far more laid-back."

Which might explain why Brits are a drinking nation. Drinking alcohol is a major way of socialising and relaxing for MC people.

I'm from a lower middle class background, I was raised with lots of emphasis on conformity and doing things the 'right' way. Never draw attention to yourself, don't talk about money or be flashy. Always be clean and tidy (both in house and person) and wear appropriate clothing. I really don't like the pyjamas in the street thing or people wearing exercise clothes when they're not about to or have been exercising, and I'm sure it comes from my upbringing.

One things that stands out for me about the MC is they tend to have a very binary view of things - there is right way to do something and everything else is just wrong, hence you can tell when you are in a predominately MC area because everything looks the same . WC and UC seem far more laid-back.

My parents are lower MC and are quietly appalled by our leather sofa. They would only have fabric and now 4 years later I see their point and will buy fabric next time

MC - cup and saucer rather then a mug ? Fabric sofas instead of leather ? I will recognise them when I see them.
I agree with what Mattberryshair said.

I think it's rare for anyone to fit neatly into a class anymore. Economic and educational status is often at odds with the traditions and values of a household. For example, working class and middle class people who have become millionaires, or upper class people who haven't been to uni and no longer have money. The rules of social interaction are blurred due to people marrying outside their class and raising children with a combination of values. Personally I don't fit anywhere.

I'm from Irish stock ( moved to England when I was 6). Mum is English/ Welsh and dad is Irish. I identify myself as working class. Dh also identified as working class. But ......... I have a career, a Labrador, a second home , an old but good car and live in a " naice" area.
Dh's family also partially identify as working class, partially as middle class. In their case it is because they are proud of working class roots.
In my case it's because dad is class blind- my parents were business owners and are now retired. Confusing isn't it

And something about your house not appearing as if it's been cleaned. Scruffy = MC
Immaculate = WC

I think it's fascinating how such a tiny and irrelevant sector of the population still exerts such disproportionate social control.

Currently watching The Crown and very little appears to have changed.

Oh and, my previous comment about eccentricity applies to intellectualism, as well. It's great if you're higher up the social scale (or on TV) but I think the key to lower middle class life is that you have to not stand out.

I'm definitely WC.
I said "Proper old school"
That answers it!

I love that book!! The chapter about the weather is genius. I gave a copy to my best friend's husband when they married. (He's american)
I do tend to find that the people that try and label themselves try too hard to be something they are not.
PIL are aspirational and think they are middles, but their manners are absolutely shocking. They try and talk down to me.
I don't know where I fit. Grew up on a council estate, but I love the good manners my Grandmother taught me. I can hold my own with a site worker or a Lord and Lady (Used to have to talk to a L&L often. Proper old school. Absolutely lovely people, he would ride in the back of the roller and she'd drive. Tea from a flask and a quick doze before they would set off home again. )
I guess I'll always be WC though. I'm not really too worried about class. My car is filthy though so maybe I'm on the up!

Well, I think almondbrew has highlighted an interesting issue: nearly everyone is, or thinks they are, 'middle class', these days. People who tell you how 'oh so very middle class they are ha ha' usually haven't been middle class for very long.
And of course, the people who were originally middle class still like to feel superior. So I would say, absolutely yes, the word indicators (like toilet/loo) are still a thing.
Someone also mentioned that eccentricity was frowned upon. This is true in lower-middle and middle-middle sort of circles, but the posher you get, the more eccentric the better.

Oh, and the absolute basic rule is to avoid being pretentious. So, no showing off about money/houses/jobs/schools. Anything that breaks this rule is tacky. You are allowed to climb up the social class ladder, but quietly and without making a fuss about it.

British people assertive???
Nope sorry.
The best line of action in britain is the PA way. You just ahve to look at threads on here where the OP starts to wonder what her friend means when she said xxx and did she actually mean yyy etc....

In my opinion, Watching the English is spot on. I recognised pretty much everything in the book.

DH was disappointed to find out that he was no higher the Middle Middle, as he insists on coasters.

"British people are very assertive, especially the women, compared to say Canadian women "

Really> British women are mostly assertive in a passive aggressive way. Women from the US or Canada are much more direct and confident in my view.

yep I was going to say talking about money

I live in Canada and people have no issue talking about earnings, what they paid for things like cars or houses.

It took me a good while to get over myself

Wanted to say, even after 17 years, I still don't really 'understand it'.
As a PP said, too many unwritten 'rules' that will vary according to where yoou are/your class/sub class etc.... that you can actually write them down.

Accents are also a big give away

Good luck with that one!
I have been here 17 years and it took me years to really realise how far the class system is impregnating the whole english/British society.

You could add that its not allowed to say that snow is nice and that talking about the weather is the only way you can start talking to some you dont know yet (eg neighbourgh).
If you look closely, you will also notice that people dont mix up and there is a strong north/south divide (with people having no hesitation telling they would never date someone from 'up north')