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Original poster

Let's get down to the base nitty gritty of the election. Shag, marry or cliff? Ed, Dave or Nick?

189 replies

MardyBra · 06/04/2015 11:31

I'm assuming Nigel will just be bruised by barge poles.

OP posts:
Nevercallmehun · 06/04/2015 20:51

Shag Clegg, marry Ed, Dave - Beachy Head.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/04/2015 20:51

Clegg
Cameron
Ed

I

Marlinspike · 06/04/2015 20:50

Let's broaden this out .... Same question for the 3 main parties finance peeps... So shag/ marry/ drop off a cliff ....
Danny Alexander
Ed Balls
George (Gideon) Osborne!
Grin

Marlinspike · 06/04/2015 20:49

Let's broaden this out .... Same question for the 3 main parties finance peeps... So shag/ marry/ drop off a cliff ....
Danny Alexander
Ed Balls
George (Gideon) Osborne!
Grin

HerBigChance · 06/04/2015 20:42

I think Clegg looks like he'd know his way around, IYSWIM.

Marry Ed, he'd do as he was told.
Cameron - cliff, no question.

StormBraver · 06/04/2015 20:39

Get very very drunk and shag Ed. Marry Nick (sorry Miriam, if you're reading). Dave goes off the cliff.

chillychicken · 06/04/2015 20:32

Shag - Nick
Marry - David
Cliff - Wallace, I mean Ed.

Wellwellwell3holesintheground · 06/04/2015 18:54

Nigel is like Toad of Toad Hall and needs to die. He actually looks like he could catch flies with his tongue.

Wellwellwell3holesintheground · 06/04/2015 18:51

Really? Oh god. Ok.

Shag - Dave but he would have to wear a bag on his head and it would have to be quick.
Marry - Nick because he would brush up ok. And we know he's obedient.
Cliff - Ed and those freaky eyes.

PinkSquash · 06/04/2015 18:43

Shag- Dave
Marry- Nick
Cliff-Ed, he's too fucking creepy and looks like a waxwork.

I wouldn't want anything to do with Nigel, yuck.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 06/04/2015 18:39

51 Shock I'd have said he was much older than that.

Marry: Nick
Shag: Ed
Dave's getting shoved off the cliff. But definitely not the Poldarky ones. They shouldn't be sullied by his presence.

Original poster
MardyBra · 06/04/2015 18:31

"I don't think Nigel would be capable of shagging anyone. He always looks like he's had a couple of pints and I suspect he gets bad brewer's droop."

Apparently he's only 51. I'm no spring chicken but I thought he was way older than me.

OP posts:
meandjulio · 06/04/2015 17:12

Marry them all then swan off to work. As 'brother husbands' they would have to learn to work together properly to actually achieve things.

I would then start having sex with Ed just that bit more often than the others, causing a huge bustup between them. Ed would have a surge of self confidence and would be voted in, Dave would realise he didn't need all this crap and would retire to be PR manager for a polo team, and Nick would decide he preferred life as a SAHD.

PotatoLetters · 06/04/2015 17:09

Round here we play shag, marry, cruise (2 weeks sharing a cabin with bunks).
I'd marry Nick because he seems the nicest, shag Ed because he's less good looking but ok. So I'd go on a cruise with Dave because he'd be able to get us a seat at the captains table with all his connections and I wouldn't have to touch him.

VivaLeBeaver · 06/04/2015 17:08

I don't think Nigel would be capable of shagging anyone. He always looks like he's had a couple of pints and I suspect he gets bad brewer's droop.

Viviennemary · 06/04/2015 17:03

I think Nigel wouild be good company. So I'd opt for him. The rest of them - nothing much to choose between them. I must look out for Ed's hand. Poor Ed another thing to complain about.

ImABigOleBadLass · 06/04/2015 16:57

Has anyone else noticed how in the debates, Ed's hand always looks like it's got a mind of its own and is trying to strangle him? It's like a naked Emu (as in Rod Hull &...).

I'd like to de-cliff whoever taught him to talk using 'flappy hands'.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 06/04/2015 16:45

Shag Ed - he is quite hot Smile
Marry Nick - crap politician but I suspect he is nice and pulls his weight at home
Push Dave off the cliff - a close call but his patronising attitude swung it for me

vinoandbrie · 06/04/2015 16:20

*there'd

vinoandbrie · 06/04/2015 16:19

In terms of which cliff for Nigel, it would have to be the white cliffs of Dover surely - there's be some poetic justice in there somewhere.

Original poster
MardyBra · 06/04/2015 16:15

funky "Do we have to face them during the encounter? This could make a difference."

are you suggesting it would be preferable if one of them were to take you from behind? Easter Confused

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 06/04/2015 15:53

Shag Dave
Marry Nick
Cliff Ed

Obviously......

Blarblarblar · 06/04/2015 15:48

Private pike "I would shag Nigel, if the choice was between the four of them"

WHAAAAAT!!!!!!!!

SilverBirch2015 · 06/04/2015 15:05

Shag & Marry - Ed
Off Cliff - Dave & Nick *
Send Abroad (to live with ex-pats somewhere)- Nigel

  • politics has changed y'kno and they were in coalition together
HoneySwampDragonInMourning · 06/04/2015 15:03

Ok if there's no order I would:

Marry Cameron

And go on honeymoon to Cornwall, on my Honeymoon I would shag Clegg, on a balcony in the vicinity of Paparazzi. The spin doctors would then have a field day ruining Cleggs political career.

Having now ensured the interest of the press I'd surruptiously push Miliband of the cliff forcing shiny Daves hand, making him attempt to climb down and rescue him.

At which point all the paparazzi cameras would blind him, and he'd plummet too.

You are all very welcome.