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Politics

POLITICS needs more fun. Few jokers isn the present parliament.

38 replies

digdeepforanswers · 19/07/2014 10:16

SKINNER is good on satirical one-liners. Never does questionTime or Any Questions?. (The word is he refuses scoff pre programme. And the Beeb insist. How tame is that?)

Margaret Thatcher re Willie Whitelaw said "Every Prime Miinister needs
a Wliile" The men are said to have guffawed. Best joke she told.

Camerooney and Ed M do decent joks occasionally at PMQs But it is all so bad tempered. The humour is almost gallows humour. (Lighten up lads)

Going back Clement Freud did dog food adverts and had a very droll sense of fun. He was a Liberal MP and ran a posh cafe An original

Women MPs dont do jokes in parliament. Because the men are said to jeer and abuse them. The Speaker needs to sit on a few heads

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claig · 16/08/2014 01:15

' If memory serves, France served Blair up as horse meat on a platter, as he gave away some of our rebate and got an ass back in return.'

If memory serves, didn't Blair come back crowing that he got a good deal? Typical!

claig · 16/08/2014 01:09

'That is what those buggers do, they also try and take away any individual members 'edge''

Tell us something new. We all know what New Labour do.

Isitmebut · 15/08/2014 23:35

WetAugust .... I called Heath a sailor boy and a numpty, hardly a glowing reference, but while you say British governments were sucked into the whole Federal EU since Heath, HISTORY shows that is Ukip rollocks, including in 1973 on an enlarged EEC when Heath was P.M.

But an iffy Heath led to change via Thatcher, who he thought wasn't up to the job, how'd that 'vision' work out. lol

The problem is that history also shows UK P.M.s were bush whacked at vary times, by national self serving EU members.

Do you remember Blair trying to horse trade with France, using our EU contribution Thatcher rebate to try and get France to reduce their farm subsidies? If memory serves, France served Blair up as horse meat on a platter, as he gave away some of our rebate and got an ass back in return.

That is what those buggers do, they also try and take away any individual members 'edge', i.e. the City in London providing £10's of billions in tax receipts annually and when Dublin needed a bail out, they insisted Dublin dropped their highly competitive 12% Corporate Tax - but Dublin told them to fick off, and it's tax competitiveness helped them repay their IMF/ECB loan back.

WetAugust · 15/08/2014 22:51

Ismebut

I didn't say that Heath signed the Treaty of Rome. Ehy on earth are you suggesting I did. I do actually know quite a bit about the development of this European experiment. I don't need lectures from you thanks. I'm also old enough to have lived through this period of history and know that the Tories hated what Heath did long before UKIP was invented.

the test of the rubbish you posted can only be described as 'revisionist'.

I am surprised at your defence of Heath. most Tories (except those from the Ken Clark pro EU wing of the party) would happily dance on Heaths grave. I read they were closing the Cathedral Close museum to Heath through lack of public interest.

Anyway, you can criticise my political stance as much as you want. I don't care. I will still not. toe Tory. The End.

WetAugust · 15/08/2014 22:43

Ismebut

Don't state that I said that Heath si

Isitmebut · 15/08/2014 15:22

WetAugust …… “utter nonsence” eh, methinks you are starting to believe your own ‘3 parties sold us down the river’ Ukip propaganda

Firstly re Heath and the The Treaty of Rome, while few could argue that Heath was not a bit of a numpty, you do know that it was signed in1957, somewhat before his time?

The fact of the matter was, whilst whatever THE OTHER 6 (?) EEC MEMBERS back then envisaged politically in the decades ahead, the UK back then (especially a Conservative government) has NEVER been on board our membership of a Europe drifting towards a political Federal State, as the link below points out – and note Heath was Prime Minister from 1970 to 1974, and the date of the EEC enlargement within that link.

www.historiasiglo20.org/europe/traroma.htm

"The "British problem" and the enlargement of the EEC in 1973"

"The absence of the United Kingdom constituted the main political problem that the EEC had to face in its early years. The British government refused to participate for different reasons:"

• The importance of its commercial, political and, even, sentimental bonds with its colonies and former colonies, most of them integrated in the Commonwealth;

• Its refusal to join a customs union. The British government defended the establishment of a free trade area, in which the internal customs rights were abolished, but national governments would maintain their competences of enacting their own tariffs with regard to third countries;

• The fact that Britain was totally opposed to embarking on a project whose long-term aim was to surrender the sovereignty of national states to supranational European institutions. In other words, the British were, and many of them still remain, very far from the objective of an European political union.

"After negotiations to integrate Britain in the EEC broke down, the British government proposed the foundation of the European Free Trade Association (EFTA), Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, Denmark, Austria and Portugal joined to that new organisation."

"It fell far short of any project of political integration, and constituted a mere free trade area."

"Shortly, Britain realized its mistake. Whereas the EEC witnessed a spectacular economic growth, with growth rates in the sixties clearly superior to those in America, Great Britain continued its downward trend in relation to the Continent."

However as the last paragraph eludes to, don’t forget that during the 1970’s the UK was a manufacturing basket case, as it fell as a percentage of our economy from around 29% in 1970, and around 22% when Thatcher was elected in 1979.

The UK during that time had inflation and interest rates around 20%, terrible industrial relations as trade unions claimed, walked out via strikes, and received similar pay rises = an upward inflation and incomes spiral, which together with a Labour 50% Corporate Tax on any unlikely profits companies made, was to destroy most of our medium to heavy manufacturing.

My point being, as the likes of Japan, Germany and other European competitors were kicking our non competitive arse and our future was looking bleaker, POLITICALLY & ECONOMICALLY, we were desperate to join a successful trading block – and while the UK were often rubbish when other EEC looked to trade concessions with us - until Blair came in at least, the UK had no interest in joining a Federal State.

As I’ve said, the ‘small state, free markets, low taxes’ Conservative DNA would never want to join a bureaucratic Federal monolith called the EU, and of course as you’ve said, Cameron is NEVER likely to get the EU reforms we need, SO WE MUST HAVE THE OPTION TO LEAVE the EU.

The ONLY option to leave will be via a 2017 UK referendum on the EU, if the Conservatives get a parliamentary majority in 2015.

As the Conservative need several % of the vote more than Labour to get a majority of 1-seat, the major problem is Ukip’s 11% plus of a General Election vote – so Farage’s UKIP has to decide if he and his party have anti EU conviction and principals of what is right for the UK, or just wants Westminster seats to fool around in.

As Ukip have no domestic policies for longer than a year, there is no point on a Conservative deal with UKIP and what domestic policies could you horse trade with – so if Ukip are true to their 20-year crusade to get the UK out of the EU, they will do the honourable thing and stand down in constituencies where they won’t WIN a seat, but let Labour in instead.

WetAugust · 14/08/2014 17:56

utter nonsense Ismebut

The EU was never foreseen aaa small grill of trading nations. That's the lie that Heath successfully sold when he got us into the misnamed Common Market, when he was in reality and knowingly signing us up to ever closer nion as decreed by the Treaty of Rome.

I font trust any of them any more but at least UKIPs publicity is starting to reveal to people just how much this country was sold out to the EU by the big 3

Cameron can negotiate with the EU till the cows come home but just as turkey's font vote for Christmas, the poor EU members will not agree to a reduction in their Handouts that are partially funded by the UK tax payer. So that's not going to happen.

We ought to leave the sorry mess now. At Least we re n a better statue that Germany which now has negative growth, pulled Finn by the burden of the PIGS

Isitmebut · 14/08/2014 12:01

WetAugust …. Why I can fully understand your need to deflect from Ukip’s inability to deliver their one solid policy, why are you so fixated on Heath the sailor boy nearly 40-years years ago? Still it makes a change from everyone blaming Thatcher for all our problems.

The EU was a UK cross party objective to be a closed membership of what, 5-6 maybe 7 very mature and similar economies in Europe. Here we are decades later, 28 members and growing, one or two industrially competitive, others relying on tourists, some still using donkeys on their dirt track roads – and you seriously think Heath or anyone envisaged all this. Don’t bother answering that.

Re vote for Ukip for a laugh’ and Labour’s ‘Ed will be laugh’, well all I can say is that if Ed and most of the people surrounding him now who screwed us up unopposed with a 100-147 seat parliamentary majority is soooooo funny to you, then you must be either wealthy enough, or be able to avoid, the results of their last policies and those in Part Deux, from 2015.

WetAugust · 13/08/2014 19:44

Isitmebut

Heath knew that the Common a Market was much more than a trading organisation and he blatantly lied to the British people when he told them it was just a common market. I'm surprised that you don't hate the man because every Tory I have met thinks he's an absolute traitor to this nation.

sorry but there is nothing that the Tories can say or do that would make me vote for them. hang the consequences. at least Ed will prove amusing. Mr Townsend was very astute when he wrote "Meet the new boss - same as the old boss"

By the way Ismebut. Your posts are virtually unreadable because of all the spurious characters that keep appearing at random in your posts.

Isitmebut · 13/08/2014 00:00

WetAugust ….. I totally agree with you re the direction of Europe/EU.

But what the hell does the here and now and EU direction, have to do with Heath and what was meant to just be a Common Market, not a ‘kin European Federal State with a one interest rate/currency fits all Eurozone?

I think you’ll find Labour applied, membership came on a Tory watch, but so what, there was nothing wrong with the concept of a Common Market, so why shouldn’t the main parties have agreed on it.

Yet your SOLUTION now is to vote for a Ukip that NOT ONLY has not one iota of a chance of bringing the Uk out of the EU, but with the large electoral boundary advantage, you will KNOWINGLY put Labour back in power to ENSURE we remain in.

So EU political “scum bag” has to be Farage, who every day of his life tells the voters they should VOTE UKIP, when HE KNOWS he cannot change British law to bring us out, thereby allowing him the EU salary and prospects of power in Westminster.

For god’s sake, if one policy anti EU Farage playing a game of policy ‘interference’ against the Conservatives and thereby KEEPING US IN THE EU isn’t the biggest political leader sell out of all time, I don’t know what is.

WetAugust · 12/08/2014 18:24

There can be no possibility of a reformed EU. The whole ethos of the entire experiment is EVER closer union! ultimately resulting in ONE COUNTRY called EUROPE.

Every EU treaty to date has moved the UK closer to that stated objective.

The other EU members are not going to abandon their goal of ever closer union because the UK does not want that, so we cannot reform it from within, we must leave.

Wee can then have a sensible trading relationship with Europe and the rest of the world without being enmeshed in all the bollox that EU membership binds us up in.

There is no way that May will get her bill of Rights either as, if you are in the EU you must take heed of the European Court rulings,

It's all bollox and UKIP is starting to expose just how thus country and it's people gave been sold down the river by the main parties, especially by that arch scum bag Heath who knew just was he was signing us up it and lied in our faces. I believe he was a Tory. LOL

Isitmebut · 12/08/2014 16:16

WetAugust .... firstly if I was you I'd re evaluate party 'trust', as currently your 'X' will go to a Ukip that has one policy on the EU they can't deliver, and a domestic policy list written in sand. Curious.

Cameron like most people wants an EU that works for the UK, if unreformed and looking to 'blob' into a Federal Europe as likely, that goes against all Conservative principals, but a socialists Labour and Lib Dem 'fat government' wet dream - and they have well and truly signed up.

Voting for Ukip and letting Labour back in can hardly be seen as a 'belly larf' to anyone REALLY wanting to have a say/leave the EU.

Re May replacing the Human Rights Act with the British Bill of Rights (whatever) so those who do us wrong can no longer be protected from an Act that has laws open to wide interpretation, why not???

The Conservatives did not sign it, Labour did, within their first year or so.

Finally if you haven't worked out the economic competence difference between the Conservatives and Labour, Ukip/Labour deserves you. lol

WetAugust · 12/08/2014 15:05

Isitmebut

here's a very simple truth

People will vote for a party that offers them what they want.

i want a referendum and the Tories say they'll give me one. but Cameron's position is that he wants a Yes vote. I don't,

People vote for parties they trust

that's a problem for me as I don't trust the Tories

So i won't be voting for a party that I don't trust and who, if elected will be staging a referendum and campaigning for a result I don't want

So let's have some fun with UKIP as voting Tory won't change the outcome.

We will never leave the EU. On e you accept that you really don't care who gets in.

Notice the latest hot air from Theresa MAy wanted to leave the EU court. Yeah! To coincide with the link pigs flying lays my window

Isitmebut · 11/08/2014 14:55

WetAugust ….. so firstly, from your answer there is no argument that Ukip CANNOT change British law to bring us out of the EU if the people wishes, but a Conservative majority in 2015 can and currently is the only chance for the electorate.

Next on ‘changes of domestic policies’, I’m gobsmacked to receive a lecture on that from a Ukipper clearly content to have their WHOLE 2010 manifesto ‘flip flopped’ for political gain. lol

But re any previous Conservative electoral promises, was that £1 million policy or similar in their 2010 General Election manifesto?

If so, if you thought a little deeper, you might work out that the Coalition forced on the country/Conservatives was thanks to Ukip votes last time, so had to combine within a Coalition Agreement the Conservative manifesto with the (to the left of Labour on some issues) Lib Dems socialist manifesto and not surprisingly didn’t make ‘the cut’ – so if you want to blame anyone for that broken policy pledge, blame Farage who ran in 2010 on domestic policies he later ditched, calling them “drivel”.

Re Alaster Campbell’s Diaries and ‘democracy’, why on Dave’s green earth would you read, never mind cite, those; Campbell oversaw the dodgy Iraq WMD dossier, hounded a whistle blowing scientist to suicide (?), with the Dark Lord Mandelson controlled/spun the media including the BBC on Labour’s social messages e.g.immigration.

And after hounding out from 1997 everyone senior in the civil service ‘not singing from the New Labour hymn sheet’ and replaced them with apparatchiks – how did that socially and economically their dumbshit policies leave the country by 2010 without those checks and balances? If they'd left the country in anywhere near the shape they received it in 1997, I'd think Campbell had a point. Ha ha ha.

As for this ‘class thang’ and PPE’s, is it your, Claig’s and Farage’s view that dumber politicians can run a complex economy with a honking £100 bil annual budget deficit better than those, when they (Ukip), can’t even string together a general election manifesto worthy of the name?

Wasn’t Labour’s key internal Deputy Dawg ‘mover and shaker (John Prescott) an ex ships steward? Wasn’t the very nice Labour man Alan Johnson, with many key cabinet positions but also I believe included Shadow Chancellor for a short spell, an ex postman – so tell me, how many less educated people running out government do we need to need to guarantee a Greek IMF bail out?????

Do not blame PPE's for Labour's political inability to properly understand what happens to salaries/living standards within a massive recession, or pretending they have real answers when to date (including their 2010 manifesto), we have seen none.

As for Boris, he in theory can add to the team that pulled the economy around from a clueless Labour in 2010, and thanks to Ukip voters voting for Ukip domestic policies that will be ditched after the ink is dry, we will watch Labour get in 2015 and ‘finish’ the job they started.

WetAugust · 08/08/2014 19:46

I wonder whether the Whigs ever envisaged the Labour Party?

WetAugust · 08/08/2014 19:43

Sorry Claig. Have I interrupted the opening chapter of a novel you are writing online? Grin

Isitmebut

Ok - so if I vote Tory they are more likely to get in and if they get in the (might) give us a referendum on Europe.

I say 'might' becaue the Tories do have a bit of a track record on policy-changing (1 million pound inheritance tax relief anyone?)

However, let's pretend they do get in and they do hold a referendum. And in that referendum the Tory campaigning line is 'LET'S STAY IN'

I think I would feel a tad cheated if not, well let's be blunt, a trifle pissed off.

Yes we do need more politicians because all we have as Claig pointed out are a bunch of Oxbridge PPE graduates. If you want to see who actually runs the country read Alaister Campbell's diaries where he is constantly shaking his head in disbelief at some of the scrapes that 'the one supposedly in charge' managed to get himself into.

At least with Nigel we know that he wouldn't sell out for a seat on the Brussels gravy train.

And I thought I had made my point quite clear - it doesn't matter who you vote for because we'll stay in the EU anyway and even if UKIP were to emerge as a major player in domestic politics it would takes decades for that to happen - decades in which we would have been swallowed alive by the EU

Sorry - it's Game Over.

But I particularly like the irony last week of the Russian sanctions. 'We can't go it alone' says Claggy because we would lose our export markets if we we left the EU.

Well guess what Claggy - we just lost a rather large one in Russia last week without having to leave the EU. In fact it was the EU's insistence at meddling in Ukrainian poloitocs that cost us this export loss in the first place. Hilarious if it wasn't so diabollically sad.

Anuway, the consolation prize is that we'll see more of Boris which will piss off Cameron and split the Tories even further than they are at the moment. Never thought the Tories would have such a poverty of ability within the party that they look to Boris as the solution.

Strange world

claig · 08/08/2014 18:00

As night fell, the PPEs began to panic, some of them even started to act a little manic.

"Butler, my good man, I say, fellow, shouldn't the People's Army an frightful Farage be upon us, for they set off early in the day?"

The butler put down his tray of liqueurs and vol-au-vents, paid for by the public, and replied to a PPE, "My liege, some Bullingdon members report that the People's Army stopped off at the Dog and Duck on the orders of Farage. He felt that light refreshment was required when they reached the county border, and Farage was first one at the bar to place his order. Farage said that the People's Army cannot and will not march on a dry thoat, but there are now reports that they have already breached the moat."

There was panic in the room and an awful sense of doom. The PPEs were bereft. They did what they always do, they penned a note saying "Sorry, but there's no money left".

claig · 08/08/2014 17:17

But the metropolitan elite's days of laughing at and thumbing their noses at the people is over and they know it.

They're in a desperate state. They've called on all their PPEs to man the barricades and they've called back Boris as their popularity fades.

The PPEs have circled their wagons, they are going to make their equivalent of Custer's last stand. They can hear the people coming as they march behind the band.

From over the hills, the PPEs hear the voices. Ordinary people in their millions, full of hope, common sense and straight talk, longing for "direct democracy" and an end to the jokers and dorks. Not a luvvie among them, not even a PPE, just millions of honest people, longing to be free.

The PPEs gaze through their binoculars and spy the masses from afar, and they report back to their puppetmasters that the estimates of the numbers are certainly no mirage, this is going to be one hell of a barrage and they are all following four square behind the formidable Farage.

The stakes are high, rien ne va plus, the people have called their bluff, they know they are all duff. It's like a game of poker and Farage is in front, looking up towards the sky, echoing the people's cry - "No more jokers!"

claig · 08/08/2014 16:55

Maybe the joke's on the ordinary people.

It seems that you can't swing a cat in the House without hitting a PPE, a joker or a chum, but of ordinary people, sadly there are none.

The metropolitan elite are absolute loving it.

claig · 08/08/2014 16:52

And that is why the Tories want Boris back.

claig · 08/08/2014 16:37

'“Blair's 'frenzied law making' : a new offence for every day spent in office”

I haven't read the article that goes with that headline, but I thought it was the case that Blair (and New Labour) committed far more than just one offence per day.

'What politics needs is more politicians.'

Yes, but what politics really needs is more ordinary people and fewer PPEs and moneyed metropolitan luvvies.

Isitmebut · 08/08/2014 15:11

Hakluyt .... I disagree as a lot of politicians (and bureaucrats) just want to be SEEN doing something, to try and justify their salaries - which can be counter productive because instead of 'reform' they just 'fiddle', either change for change sake or make new rules/res/laws - rather than actually be productive and 'create' something for society.

Path of least resistance and quality over quantity, methinks.

The so called bedroom tax to help a chronic shortage of bedrooms with a social home waiting list of 5 million, before being able to break ground/building as many homes as you can, could be an example of 'fiddling'.

But there are other examples. lol

“Blair's 'frenzied law making' : a new offence for every day spent in office”
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/blairs-frenzied-law-making--a-new-offence-for-every-day-spent-in-office-412072.html

Hakluyt · 08/08/2014 14:18

What politics needs is more politicians.

Isitmebut · 08/08/2014 14:11

WetAugust ….. I’m guessing that with your chosen name, you are not one of life’s ‘half full’ people. Lol

Whether you truly are being cynical or Ukip political, is immaterial, the Conservatives WILL offer the 2017 EU Referendum in their 2015 General Election manifesto, so then if there was a Conservative majority in 2015, there can be no going back.

And as Ukip is offering the people a referendum on EVERY major policy change, the concept of a referendum should be clear to you, that within a national vote, as the politicians have one vote each, THE PEOPLE DECIDE, not politicians.

Re the UK never leaving the EU due to the three main party’s not wanting to, as far as the Conservatives are concerned, you could not be more wrong, as an UNREFORMED EU goes against every Conservative principal of how to build a SUSTAINABLE UK ECONOMY, as evidenced by the changes they made since 2010 on the ‘mini’ EU inefficient, bureaucratic, high taxes, and generally anti business UK economy they inherited.

As I have explained on the ‘The EU, IN or OUT’ thread today, for the sake of UK prosperity, we really have no other option BUT to leave an unreformed EU.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/politics/2118660-The-EU-In-or-out?msgid=48767592#48767592

So Ukip voters who WANT a say on leaving the EU will only get that one way, and as due to dodgy boundary lines if the Conservatives retain 35% of the votes they will again be around 20-seats SHORT of a majority, yet a 34% of the vote will give Labour around a 66 seat MAJORITY - so if Ukip voters don’t wake up, they will get another Labour pro EU integration government.

WetAugust · 08/08/2014 00:52

Isitmebut
Just wanted to clear up the fact that I hold no flame for Boris. Quite the reverse. But I shall enjoy the unpredictability and chaos that he will bring to Parliament.

You know my views are very anti-EU. But I have now resigned myself to the fact that we will never leave the European Union. The Tory party will never take us out. So there's no point banging on that Farage cannot take us out and that only a party of government can even initiate that process I.e. Vote Conservative.

There is no appetite within any of the in 3 political parties to leave the EU. I have reluctantly accepted. And I think a that many thousands of people in this country have finally reached the same conclusion.

So we will continue yo vote UKIP even if I you think it's a wasted vote.

It may well be, but at least it is a conviction vote.

And voting any other way wouldn't bring about the changes we want anyway.

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