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Original poster

If your 17 year old wanted to take a day off school to attend the student funding march on Wed would you condone it

242 replies

mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 21:49

What it says really,ds1 ,17 ,very politically aware wants to attend.Its a school day,independent school so I need to write to say we are authorising him to have a day off.

Dh violently against ,very angry with me for even thinking about it ,treats ds like a naughty little boy.I am more ambivelent,I am proud of him for feeling strongly (dh thinks that because he wouldn't go on his own that he just wants a day off school with his friends),I think that this issue is going to have a profound effect on his life and in a way I am quite proud of him for wanting to have a voice, also proud because he has thought carefully about the issues and wants to hear both sides and yes he wants to experience something big ,something new,to be there if you like.But and and its a big but he has to have day off school,he's not a definate oxbridge candidate ,his grades aren't perfect he can ill afford to miss a lot of school,but one day? I don't know,dh has said no and he's agreed so I suppose its over but perhaps we are doing him a diservice (sorry not sure of spelling)

OP posts:
claig · 09/11/2010 10:34

The OP says 'dh thinks that because he wouldn't go on his own that he just wants a day off school with his friends'. Maybe DH is right. A meeting may be convened in a public bar and there may be chinking of glasses and cries of "Hail fellow, well met".

I don't think it is a good idea to encourage schoolchildren to take a day off school, to help others' political causes. Would those encouraging him to take a day off feel the same if he wanted to go on a march for the Countryside Alliance. Are there some people encouraging schoolchildren to take a day off in order to swell numbers at the protest so that they can achieve their own political purpose?

Litchick · 09/11/2010 10:32

mrswoodentop - I think that's a good attitude he has. Positive, yet pargmatic.
Top lad.

edam · 09/11/2010 10:15

Oh Claig, trust you to turn up and rain on the OP's ds's parade. Right, leaving aside your unsubstantiated claim that the lad will go to the pub, perhaps you could explain why teenagers shouldn't exercise their democratic right to protest?

We didn't get the right to vote by asking nicely. We had to fight for it. Using protest and direct action. And I'm not just talking about women, I'm talking about ordinary people of both genders.

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 09/11/2010 09:58

I agree Litchick and ds shows his maturity I think because he understands this ,he still nevertheless wants to hear the speakers and play a part because as he says how could he look himself in the eyes or complain in future if he hadn't made the effort to be involved in the debate

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 09/11/2010 09:55

This is why I prefer independent sixth forms to sixth-formers being 'in school'. Better preparation for the students and the parents for the transition between schoolchild and adult.

TrillianAstra · 09/11/2010 09:52

Yes, at 17 they are not children who must go to school - it is up to them to choose what is more important.

Litchick · 09/11/2010 09:52

Though I think the whole fee debate is a done deal and this march pointless...I would still let either of mine go.

At 17 they are young adults. They are entitled to become politically active.

spiderlight · 09/11/2010 00:31

He sounds like an absolutely fantastic young lad. I'd let him go and be massively proud of him. While I can see his father's point, surely an experience like this and the knowledge that he had his say on such a huge issue is going to be of more value to him in the grand scheme of things than just another school day? There's more to education than just school.

dontdisstheteens · 09/11/2010 00:20

Oh my. No need to go to the shed for a banner. DS and I have spent a happy half hour on s mac and it will be printed tomorrow! Fair enough tho I do need to go to b and q for some supports.

spidookly · 09/11/2010 00:19

I would, I think.

I think you are right to be proud of him :)

claig · 09/11/2010 00:09

No, I don't think it's a good idea to go. It may be that he wants a day off with his friends, and they may get diverted into the pub. What will happen on the next protest day, will he want to have that day off as well?

"DDs 6th form college has given them all absence permission to go on this march."

Ho Chi Minh used to allow students to have a day off, when he wanted them to protest about something that served his purpose as well.

MoralDefective · 09/11/2010 00:06

Yes i would.
I'd be pleased that he has an opinion.Good for him.

ThighsWideShut · 08/11/2010 23:50

I was going to go (student @ uni) but I have to go on work placement instead Sad

oldenoughtowearpurple · 08/11/2010 23:47

DDs 6th form college has given them all absence permission to go on this march.

TheFarSide · 08/11/2010 23:41

Mrs WT - we need more people with "a well developed sense of justice" - GOOD ON YOU & YOUR SON! I work with students and many of them are just so unquestioning and intimidated by authority. I'm THRILLED that some young people are taking an interest in politics and wanting to change the world.

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 23:21

MrsWT - I think you need to talk to DH (not right now though!) and try to make him understand how DS needs his support and his belief in him - it's so important. DH needs to appreciate that he is lucky that DS gives a rats arse about what he thinks.

It is hard when you have a 'very well developed sense of justice' because it's hard to do things/tow the line - when something isn't fair or just.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 08/11/2010 23:15

Yes, I'd definitely let him go. I was at uni by the time I was 17- something that might not have happened if tuition fees had been around then Sad

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 23:13

I am afraid that DH thinks that he should have ds's support ,he's not always an easy boy,has a rotten temper when riled ,but as it said in his year 3 report T has a very well developed sense of justice.

Interesting I don't think he thinks of how unuual it is for a 17 year old to want to have his approval or to care.He just thinks I'm paying the bills so I call the shots .He does love him ,always happy to ferry him about ,be at things etc,but if I'm honest they are just not on the same wavelength politically

OP posts:
exexpat · 08/11/2010 23:12

Yes, definitely.

I used to skip school occasionally to go to big protests at Greenham Common and so on, with my mother's approval (she was a teacher). Much more educational than another day at school.

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 23:08

Oh and .... well done you for not allowing your DH the final word on this when he is wrong!

ChippingIn · 08/11/2010 23:07

You son sounds lovely - he wont go because he wants his Dad's support... does your DH realise how uncommon that is in a 17 year old? He should support him :(

You are right - life isn't a dress rehersal, he'll only get to be 17 once and if he does this, he will be proud of himself whether it achieves anything or not.

tallwivglasses · 08/11/2010 23:07

Good on you, mrswoodentop Smile

(love the name for nostalgia reasons!)

Original poster
mrswoodentop · 08/11/2010 23:02

Right ,dh not happy but I have told him that I will write the letter if he wants to go,its his decision and I am proud of him .At the moment he says that he won't go because he wants his dad to support him ,but I've told him to wait until tomorrow .His dad won't agree he can't see beyond "it's a school day" but you know I think I'm right ,life isn't a dress rehersal it's for real.

OP posts:
lowrib · 08/11/2010 22:52

I would also be very proud of my DS if he wanted to do this, he should be allowed to go.

tallwivglasses · 08/11/2010 22:49

Students taking to the streets again? About bloody time!