I’m a single dad of three boys from two previous relationships, and for nearly 16 years I’ve had almost no personal space or time to myself. Their mums stepped back over the years, and the day‑to‑day responsibility has fallen entirely on me. My eldest doesn’t see his mum at all, and my twins only have four contact visits a year. I’ve had no family support, no partner to share the load with, and no real social life for over a decade.
I do have friends, but they’re mostly music acquaintances — not the kind of close friendships where you can talk about real problems. Because I’ve had so little free time for so many years, I stopped being able to build deeper connections or find people who genuinely understand what my life looks like. The isolation has been constant.
I’ve lived with GAD for years, and the responsibility and lack of support have turned into social anxiety. I’ve tried to build a future for myself. I’ve tried working, but childcare has always been a barrier. I started a university diploma in natural science and passed my first two years, but I couldn’t complete it because I couldn’t find a sitter for the required practical week.
I’ve had opportunities to travel around the country to play my music, but again, responsibility meant I had to turn them down.
Relationships haven’t helped either — I’ve repeatedly ended up with partners who weren’t taking proper care of the children, and I’ve been left holding the babies every time. It’s been flat‑out for years, and I feel like I’ve missed so many opportunities that could have changed my life.
I’m 40 now, and although I’m trying to push my music forward, I feel unfulfilled and lost. I’m not looking for sympathy — I’m hoping to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar position, how you coped, and whether you managed to rebuild a life for yourself after so many years of being “on duty” with no support.