drug dependant baby, advice needed

hi all
i have been fostering a baby who is now 11 months old since lo was 6 weeks old straight from the hospital. lo is a big baby now as lo was using its milk feeds to calm its craving. lo would not sleep during the day as would startle awake, but always slept well on the night, and first slept through at 10 weeks old! i noticed the change at about 5 months old when lo was alot calmer. its amazing how they come through it. lo was crawling at 6 months and started walking at 10 months! so has more than progressed well. lo is being adopted at the end of the month. we will miss lo dearly and will be devistated, but if we didnt get attacted then we wouldnt be doing our job. its the most rewarding thing we have ever done!

I've just read this thread and been totally amazed and moved by it.
Emin, Minerva and Fatraven, you are all fantastic and deserve so much respect for all the care and love you are giving to these little people.
I hope to become a foster carer for older children when my baby is 2 (I have a dd aged 9 too).
Truly inspirational!

Aw-you poor thing!!.

It will be a really hard slog (although you more than know that already) but the most rewarding thing you will ever do-is it your first withdrawing baby?.

I will send you lots of positive thoughts and wish you all of the luck in the world. :)

Hi girls, i am also fostering a withdrawal baby, she is 5 weeks tomorrow, should of been coming home today but still has a sore bum and only a slight weight gain , its really hard going to the hospital twice a day for the last 4 weeks, cant wait to get her home and some normality if that's possible

What a shame - the pull of heroin is awfully strong. It has a lot to answer for Isn't it a shame people can't see what lies ahead when they first go down that road.

I nursed a young lady who was a crack addict (as was her partner)but the pair of them gave up when she was pregnant which was pretty amazing tbh given their lifestyle beforehand (plus pg was unplanned). She had bipolar disorder and the pg and birth hormones didn't help. Unfortunately she had a binge after the baby was born and was admitted due to a psychotic episode. But afaik she was doing well and abstaining from drugs (as was her dp) and the lo was being well cared for by both of them. I hope the lo you're in charge of goes to a good home wherever that may be.

I remember you as flower - am so pleased you have another baby to care for. I can't imagine anyone better to care for such a fragile being - seems like a weird thing to say when you haven't actually met someone but your kindness, compassion and nurturing comes through so much in your posts. This lo seems to be thriving. Well done dd was tiny so I know what it's like having such a teeny one. She was 5lb when she came home (born weighing 3lbs as 10 weeks prem). Her favourite position was the one your lo favours (against my chest under my chin). In fact that is the only way she would sleep. And she fed little and often - makes sense when they are small. It's lovely for you that her character is emerging and you are getting chuckles and smiles . Hope you manage to get some sleep soon - it's tough trying to keep going on minimum sleep.

Earth Mother - I've been watching this thread for months. Your last post brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing thing you have done for her. She is so lucky.

Aaaw that is so sweet! I have followed this thread since it started and I really want to say how amazing you are Emin and Minerva - I don't think I could do it, I would get too attached to the lo's!
But now your lo has had such a good start thanks to you Emin, it's so fantastic to hear how well she is doing (no issues!! ) now and I really hope everything works out well for her. Also many good wishes for you Hester, you will be an amazing mother to your lovely new dd
Please keep updating about the lo's, it's so sad but also heartwarming to hear about their progress

You're both really kind . Our introductions start beginning August. The foster mother is actually not that silent about her grief, and she was a bit antsy towards us at first, but as soon as I saw that DVD of them together I completely got how she was feeling, and stopped taking it personally. She really, really cares about this baby and I would FAR rather be dealing with her and her feelings than with someone who felt cool and detached. Her loving care may be our dd's best chance of overcoming her very-far-from-ideal start in life. She'll have to really go some to make me feel she's anything less than a goddess.

Very reassuring to hear that babies usually adapt to the transition. I suppose it's very hard for us mothers to imagine that that could be possible (I also have a birth child).

Thanks so much for the advice; it's really appreciated. I'll let you know how we get on!

It does seem like a brutal process but she will adapt quickly and this match between you both is obviously the best thing for baby.

I can see what you mean EMIN about the ones that don't..........I suppose you know that the ones that do are going into a family that wants them very much and will love and nurture them always whereas the other choice is not probably not going to be quite such a fairy tale ending.

The prospect of yo-yoing back and forth into the care system is too horrible a reality but unfortunately too true a reality for some.

hester please give us an occasional update if you have the time-I am always interested to hear people's stories and we can all learn from other peoples experiences.

Good luck!!

Thank you both. She will be 10 months. EarthMother, everything you've said about your lo sounds like my dd's early months.

Fortunately she is now happy, smiley and sleeping, though I know there are many uncertainties for the future. Right now I can't really see past how we will all cope with taking her away from her foster mother - the only mum she's ever known. I've watched them together on DVD and the bond between them is clearly very strong. I can't believe I am about to traumatise my dd all over again.

It's a brutal process, isn't it?

Aw..... that's wonderful hester-I wish you all of the love and luck in the world.
How old will lo be?.

What a fascinating thread to read. I am about to adopt a baby girl who has been through the same experience. I have met the foster mum, but it's been incredibly helpful - and moving - to read these posts. It's given me much more of an insight into my dd's early weeks. Thank you.

Great to hear both babies are doing well, and where ever you are some sw's just don't seem to get the big picture - ho hum.