drug dependant baby, advice needed

Another exhausting day!

LO wasn't medicated as he scored 7 on the hospital's NAS chart and they have to be 8 or above before they're medicated apparently. Then he was discharged home to me, methadone withdrawal kicked in and he went through the roof (and some days is still up there!). We considered referring him back for meds to be reconsidered but by the time the professionals had hooed and haaed I thought we might as well continue cold turkey.

Even though he's going through a bad patch at the moment I still think this was the right decision as we do have the occasional good day now.

I moved my last drug addicted baby on a few months ago and I still miss her every day. When I think back to the change in her over the 16 months she was with me though I'm so proud of the good start I gave her. Lets hope it's not too long before I start getting something back from this one!

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet but am also fostering a drug addicted baby. He's 11 weeks old now and sadly I don't feel like we're anywhere near the end of the tunnel :(

Reading this post has been great though as it does remind me that better things WILL come eventually (I also cared for LO's sibling. She's now moved on but is well behind her peers)

Baby currently has daily contact (bar weekends) with parents and as I transport that means daily contact for me too. In a way that's even harder than caring for baby - I can't say anything about how difficult baby is without hearing "but he's fine for us". According to them he's smiling, crawling and babbling - strange that the other 23 hours of the day he's a screaming, jittery, frightened rabbit not yet meeting any of his milestones...

Sorry to rant, I found this post on a bad day! EMIN your positive attitude is an absolute tonic - I could do with a huge daily dose of you!

Oh, I just read this and wow. I did consider fostering for a while but ultimately decided to adopt instead. How sad the situation, but hopefully now LO can have as good a life as possible.

And you totally deserve christmas with her :) I think it is your right to have that after all you've done for her. Luckily it's so near now and usually kids aren't moved in December. Make some more wonderful memories with her :)

Hi, i am a foster mum of a withdrawal baby girl and know where you are coming from earth mother, our baby is still on pheono and i think it will have to be increased again as she is very unsettled again, its the best and hardest job ever but we wouldn't change a thing, i dread someone coming forward to adopt her although i know its for the best our final court hearing is mid December, so we should have xmas with her. She is 4.5mths old.

I'm sure you will both find it hard, EMIN. You have done such hard work and any adoptive parent should be very grateful to you. I sincerely hope you don't find the separation too hard.

What a lovely thread. EarthMother - I feel for you both. You've done a fantastic job. Your lo has been very lucky to have you - but she knows that! So sad you are going to lose her soon. That must be really difficult. Good luck with that and the court case x

I love when thsi thread comes up again in active convos as it really reaffirms my faith in humans. You women (and your DH's) are fabulous, marvellous people

Am so sad but also so happy for those babies that they found you all.

What a wonderful thread. My adopted dd was also born drug dependent and she is such a bright, beautiful, happy baby now. There's not a day that passes when I don't offer up a prayer of thanks for the love and care her foster carer gave her. Well done, EMIN.

EMIN, I cannot imagine the responsibility of administering oramorph to such a small person, where potentially a tiny amount could have terrifying consequences. The descriptions of the screams make me :( - my dh has cold-turkeyed off Oramorph but he was a 36 year old man, not a tiny, helpless infant. (And it was still quite bad, even though he has a bizarre relationship with opiates).

How marvellous she is doing so well. And, sad though it is that the birth mother couldn't come through, how lovely she will have an adoptive family. My dbro has adopted three children in similar-ish circumstances, all from the same birth family, and they have absolutely blossomed, it has been such a thing to see. I remember the middle dc was so very, very thin when he came to them I was absolutely shocked - and now he's a completely in-your-face lively 6 year old, he's a true delight.

What a terribly hard job you do. I know I couldn't do it and will freely admit that. Thank you so much.

Another teary mess here. Can only add to what others have said: you're amazing (and your lo is amazing too).

I'm so glad she is being adopted, and hope she'll be loved and looked after as beautifully as she has been with you.

I'll think of her when I go in to feed my DD later on.

Reading this makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have a stable life and two healthy kids. It's too easy to take these things for granted.

I've just read this thread with my heart in my mouth and although I'm sorry for the situation lo's mum is in, I am delighted that through adoption this lo will have the best possible chance for a safe and secure life. EMIN - you and all the other foster mums and dads are wonderful people. Such love that you've shown - it's awe inspiring.

I'm only 8 weeks into fostering.. we have 2 lo's with us, and if I can be a tiny patch of a carer as some of the carers on here, I will be very proud of myself..

When I'm feeling emotional.. (which can be frequently!!) I read this thread to give myself a kick up the backside

I'll celebrate your milestone today with a large glass of wine - feel free to join me 'virtually'..

You must feel so proud of what you have achieved and how she has progressed, through your loving and care. Fantastic.

have had a read and a little sob here too.
You foster Mums really really are amazing - wonderful to read how LO has come on

I have never seen this thread before - I am utterly staggered by the kindness and selflessness of the foster/adoptive mums on here - Minnerva, Earthmother and chegirl and others.

Sat here crying at the story of the little babies. Earth what a wonderful woman you are.

Poor poor baby. Utterly chilled imagining what a drug dependent baby crying sounds like

So so glad that women like you exist. How wonderful this thread is (but how horrific that such things happen).

Excitement indeed, what a great start you have given this little toot!

Lovely news! You have given her such a good start.

Aw Emin that's so lovely to hear-you must be thrilled!!

Thanks for the update.:)

Brilliant news, It won't be long before shes following you everywhere