Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

drug dependant baby, advice needed

734 replies

EarthMotherImNot · 03/03/2010 15:20

I've been asked to foster a baby expected to be suffering drug withdrawal when it is born next week.

It is years since I've cared for one of these and any advice would be most gratefully received.

OP posts:
Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 14/01/2011 12:02

I'll get big-headed geordieBlush

OP posts:
geordieminx · 14/01/2011 11:18

You really are such a wonderful person, and I'm sure your darling girl will be so happy in her new home.

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 14/01/2011 09:49

Hi SquidgySmile

They are lovely people and I know she is the most wanted and prayed for little girl everWink

I send them a little mobile photo every morning of lo to say good morning to them, the wait must seem endless to them.

Lo had a final contact with birth mum recently who's only question apparently was "would any subsequent babies be taken from her"

Angry
OP posts:
SquidgyBrain · 13/01/2011 22:05

OH EMIN!!!

Not been about for a few weeks, so missed all the latest news!

So glad that your LO have found some wonderful people to be her forever family, the gift you gave all 3 of them is not one that will ever be measurable, you truly are an inspiration

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 13/01/2011 10:18

Thank you Northernlurker, your words mean such a lot. I will remember the every tear shed bit in the next couple of weeks.

We feel proud of who we've helped her become already, and yes handing her to someone else will be awful but she needs a family of her own nowSad

I know the best thing I can do for her now, apart from enjoying the time we have left, is to help her new family get to know her as much as possible.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 12/01/2011 15:25

It is sad because you will miss her so much of course but you have done such a good job. I hope SS appreciate you and dh. The care and consistency you have shown is amazing. Without your strength she could have gone from person to person, without your care she could have succumbed to the complications of powerful medicine, neglect and low weight. I can't imagine what it must be like to hand her over to new parents but every tear you shed is because of a victory won.

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 12/01/2011 11:30

Thanks everyoneSmile

It doesn't seem real yet but I guess it won't be longSad

Dh were talking last night after we got the babies to bed and neither of us can believe how far she's come in a few short months.

We had earlier looked up to find she'd climbed into the baby bouncer all by herselfShock this after learning how to open the bottom drawer in the kitchen.

It's like she's a bundle of "ooh, whats this, what does that do" all of a sudden.

We are so going to miss her cheeky little grin and infectious giggleSad

OP posts:
Minnerva · 12/01/2011 09:57

Hi Emin,
Just wanted to day hello and that I'm thinking of you-good luck for lo's new mummy and daddy. :)

Northernlurker · 11/01/2011 18:54

Been reading and lurking. What a great thing you have done for this baby. The girl and the woman she will be will have her roots in your loving care.

p99gmb · 11/01/2011 18:43

OMG.. I can't believe she will be gone so quickly... Silly me, I presumed at least a few weeks of getting to know her... Gosh Shock

I am sure they will cherish her and I do hope they will keep in contact with you.

Smile

I can't imagine how hard it will be for you - BIG HUGS at the ready everyone!!

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 11/01/2011 16:39

Probably start introductions on Monday and be gone by the end of the weekSad

We can't imagine life without her!

Her new mum has texted and her excitement is overwhelming, I'm sure they'll love her to bitsSmile

OP posts:
p99gmb · 11/01/2011 15:17

so when will she go??

Smile Sad

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 11/01/2011 14:47

All went well at panel. "My" baby has a new mummy and daddySmile bit tremulous but still Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 10/01/2011 13:52

Matching panel tomorrow, fingers crossed for the new family everyone Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 08/01/2011 15:39

It's more a sense of achievement than pride I think, a bit like a mountain climbed, with this lo in particular but thank youSmile

OP posts:
ednurse · 08/01/2011 14:51

Just read this whole thread.
Big well done to all you MN'ers and families who are fostering these poor LO's.
What a satisfying and rewarding job you are all doing, you should feel VERY proud.

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 08/01/2011 14:24

Quick update!

Matching panel is next week so lo will be gone by the end of the month providing all goes according to plan.

I cannot imagine our lives without herSad she is a shining light to us.

I'm going to need a lot of hand holding againSad

OP posts:
PigeonStreet · 22/12/2010 20:23

EMIN - that's great news about the timescales.I suspected they might be able to find a way of speeding it up again!

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 22/12/2010 06:31

Thats lovely snailSmile to know they can make it through the toughest of starts.

From what our previous adopters usually tell us most lo's settle pretty quickly, never having had a baby with so many substances in its tiny system before who knows how this one will be. I can only pray for her and her new family.

On a brighter note I had a call from the adoption sw who tells me that the head of adoption has managed to find a way around the problem which would have held things up so we are back on track for January.

Have a lovely Christmas tooXmas Smile

OP posts:
snail1973 · 21/12/2010 22:45

EMIN just thought you might like to know about our adopted dd. She was born addicted. Spent 5 weeks in SCBU doing 2 rounds of oramorph (pretty bad withdrawal apparently) then with foster carers until 10.5 mntgs.

She certainly had a tough start but the long nights and endless love of her fc's got her back on track. She is now 4.5yrs and is just a normal girl who loves life is doing well at school and loves her new mummy and daddy.

Everything you have done for this lo is SO worth it. And there's no reason for them to be anything other than a gorgeous thriving kid.

That said we did have a tough first few months when we took her home at 10 mnths. I think she was so attached to her fc's (prob because of all they had been through ogether) that she was pretty anxious with us for some time. But she is just a wonderful daughter now and that's all water under the bridge.

Have a lovely Christmas. And good luck to her adoptive parents to be!

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 20/12/2010 09:05

thanks scarletXmas Smile A smile makes a world of difference with these babies doesn't it. A little bit of hope and optimism creeps in.

I know with our lo when she is into everything and under my feet, (try Christmas wrapping with a crawler about) I look at her and marvel at how far she's come. She's amazingSmile

OP posts:
scarlet5tyger · 19/12/2010 20:24

Not had time to pop back in here since I last posted and just wanted to add my comments to EMIN. Unfortunately I'm not at all surprised that SS have misses vital paperwork. A six month placement with me ended up sixteen months for similar reasons.

On a brighter note for you, you get to keep baby a few months longer. I know this is a double edged sword as every time dates are put back for me are extra time for me to get more attached.

On a more personal level, my current placement has had a better few days and I've actually had smiles now! The first one almost made me cry as it came at the end of a long, tiring day. Suddenly all the screaming was forgotten!

Hope you all have a great Christmas if I don't get chance to come online again before Sat x

Original poster
EarthMotherImNot · 18/12/2010 10:07

Thanks allSmile

I had rang the adoption worker before they arrived on another matter and she said she should forewarn me she would be breaking this bad news to them.

I had to sit with a stupid smile on my face knowing the bombshell was imminent.
Of course she left it until the family were putting their coats on thinking alls well with things before she cleared her throat and said "there is just a teeny problem"

I hate this job sometimesAngry Well, strictly speaking, I hate the bloody incompetence and laziness of social servicesAngry

Rant overBiscuit

OP posts:
Minnerva · 18/12/2010 09:51

Em I am so glad that you like them-it does make the handing over a little bit easier.

Such a long time for the poor parents to wait for their lo.You say they have been waiting for eons anyway so this extra delay must just be agony for them-their christmas is well and truly spoilt.

BookcaseFullofBooks · 18/12/2010 09:17

Just read this thread and I have no words to express how stunned I am by it. You truly deserve a wonderful Christmas with your special babies.

Swipe left for the next trending thread