Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

Maybe he wants a boiled egg? with the lion mark on it?

"Who could have taken the last of the chocolate biscuits ?"

(Toddler covered in chocolate)"The biting rabbit took them"

We've been having all sorts with dd lately, she has just got really into asking sciencey questions (most of which are beyond me).

This morning she said "I had a baby called Spencer in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew til he was big enough but I didn't eat him to put him in my tummy and he grew and grew and grew and then I went upstairs and my tummy went pop and he came out but then I had to go to the shops to buy a new tummy because mummy wouldn't let me buy one on the computer and I bought my new tummy and I stuck it on with sticky tape and plasters but not glue because glue isn't for skin and now I have a new tummy and no baby in it"

My dd1 is 5, but we still end up with random converations as she never really replies to questions, but just says what's on her mind at the time and half the time it's got nothing to do with it at all.

She's also in an actually phase.

Spicemonster, I hope you get to the botto of your egg mysterie soon. Both ds and dd1 (dd2 is only 2mo) went through phses of asking for mysterious unidentifiable things. I'm sure they used to think I was an idiot .

Right, in the interests of getting to the bottom of this egg mystery ('Egg!' was the first word he said when he woke up this morning), I got an egg out in the kitchen this morning.

"Egg! Open it mama, open it mama!"
Right I think, we're definitely onto something here. So I cracked it into a bowl. He cried but I pressed on to explore the fried egg theory. I fried it, put it on the Roary plate and he pushed it away, shrieking,
"No egg, no egg!"

So for breakfast he ate porridge and I had fried egg for possibly the first time in my life without a hangover

My investigations continue ...

We don't really have conversations as such (DD is 20mo) but i do a running commentry of what i'm doing while DD looks at me like this

3 yr old nextdoor neighbour: Mo, I've got a snail, wanna see?
Mo: Oh yes please!
boy: He's gone inside his shell.
Mo: Do you think he doesn't want to get wet? (it was raining)
boy: No, he's gone in to watch telly.
Mo: Oh really?, What's he watching, CBBC?
boy: No, he's watching The Bill.
Mo: Gosh that's a grown up programme, does his mummy know he's watching it?
Boy: Mo, He's a snail, he doesn't have a mummy!

Silly Mo!

DD (25mo) was telling me this morning that she didn't need a fork with her milk

And everything is 'actually' atm. As in 'Actually mine. It's actually milk'. I blame bloody Lola!

Oh.. And we also have 'apple-daddy' and 'apple-nanna' but NEVER 'apple-mummy'. No idea why.

Apparently llamas are very naughty and eat 'sossy-beans'
where this one has come from I have no idea. And sossy-beans are sausages and beans. Apparently. Both myself and ds have spiders in our hair(curly) but daddy does not.(no hair)

your stories are adorable.
My son (3.5 )asked every morning for "the clippers and the paste" with me confused, offering him various things (scissors... glue.. nail clippers etc).
After about a week I realised he wanted the BBQ tools.

No idea why but he plays with them every morning.

I also spent rather longer than I wanted to today explaining how baby animals drink from their mothers. According to DS, they drink from their mothers "nibbles". He wont believe me that horses and cow have udders, not "nibbles" LOL.

My two year old, whenever she sees a church says "Look mummy, it's a fairy castle far far away."

oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease do an experiment tomorrow morning with one Lion Standard Egg and one fried egg: please.

My toddler doesn't talk too much yet (22 months) but every morning without fail says:
Pepp'Pig! LoLo! Stairs!

Which means, clearly, 'Take me downstairs immediately, Mother, and breastfeed me while I crane sideways so I can watch the ToothFairy episode of Peppa Pig for the millionth time while stretching your nipple into Morph-like creations'

Dd picked up something from the floor, presented it to me and said solemnly, 'Mummy I have deduced that this is to small for dd2'

Mind you she told me a few weeks ago that I am very distinguished.

Its like living with Cecilia Johnson sometimes!

DD's friend: I have a new bed.

DD: Oh that's nice.

DD's friend: my old one is in the shed.

DD: is it ? .....Do you sleep in the shed ?

DD's freid: No, just my bed does !!

MarthaFarquhar

Hee hee!

DD knows about stuffed animals, eg at the Natural History Museum, so on the way home from nursery the other day she stopped outside a clothes shop, looked up at the mannequin in the window, and asked,
"Mummy, is that a real lady, who's been killed?"

We have been invited to a party with a princess and knight theme. I was explaining this to my 3 yr old He said "Can I go as a knight mummy?...please, pleae, I want to be a nightmare!"

Ds: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Ds: Robots
Me: Robots who?
Ds: Robots EVERYWHERE!

or, the other variation has the punchline of Robots and Mr Tumble Mama.....EVERYWHERE!

I think he is trying to warn us of a fate worse than death, a Mr Tumble/Transformers crossover.

when DS was at pre-school

Mum, 38 unicorns came into our class today!

er

That's nice dear

Spicemonster, this is prob silly but... in one episode of roary he spills eggs on himself and it looks like fried eggs????

dd: I want a cat. It must be a girl cat because only girls have feelings.

Me: Boys have feelings!

dd: No they don't. Boys don't have feelings, Mummy. When I look at Edward's face [boy at nursery] I know he has no feelings at all.

Funnily enough, I reckon she's right about Edward.

spicemonster, it's eggs with the lion quality mark or whatever it is stamped on the side - has to be!

I had an odd conversation with my 4 year old earlier. He was telling me how a spider crawled up his willy when he was in the garden. I was totally . The conversation went of for quite a while before I realised it climbed up his WELLY!

I get 'I want a roary egg' every morning at the moment. I have no idea what a roary egg is. If anyone could enlighten me, I'd be very grateful