Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

DS (aged 2) keeps begging me to put 'boyogiog' on the TV. Some days he gets so distrught that I won't do it that I would love to comply just to take the hurt look off his face...

Unfortuneately, I have absolutely no clue what Boyogiog is!!!

DS said today that dinosaurs must be 'INstinct' because they are too big to push trollies at Sainsburys and anyway their feet are the wrong shape for the handles.

DD (2) calls all squirrels 'Jim'. She can say squirrel, so not sure where she got Jim from...

My 2 year old DS keeps pointing at cute rabbits and squirrels and cats and then shouting at me 'DON'T EAT IT MUMMY!'

What does he think I am?!

Spicemonster, haven't read all of thread so it may have been solved, but he didn't have a roary easter egg did he?

CarrieBo has reminded me of one, from ds1 when he was about 5. For the purposes of this story, it is necessary to remember that I was about 35 at the time.

I was looking through the Evans' catalogue at tops, and ds1 came to ask what I was looking at - I showed him the picture, told him I was thinking of buying that particular top, and asked if it would look nice. He said he thought so, but asked what the letter in the corner of the picture meant, so I explained that it directed you to the written details at the side of the page.

I read them out to him:
"Cotton printed long sleeved top, cerise, sizes 16, 18-20, 22-24, 26-28, 30 and 32.

'Ohh dear mummy' said ds1, 'it doesn't come in your size!' This made me a bit until I realised that all the sizes in his clothes were based on ages - and he thought mine were too!!

DS (3y) is very unhappy with spiders, because I told him that they eat flies. "Why can't they eat apples?" he asked.

I've just heard him telling his Dad, 'I want to be a lovely monkey".

dd (nearly 2) was really upset when the butterfly wings we bought on Friday didn't actually allow her to fly for real

"all his animals, or "the guys" as he calls them, are apparently his cousins"

Same here, kansas. My DD's sister is Po and her brother is a small green lamb.

DD (3) was looking at some old photos with me the other day.
I was telling her that "this was mummy when she was a little girl" "this was grandma when she was younger" etc.
Then she saw a picture of my dad aged around 30 - he had ginger hair as does my 4 year old nephew Jamie.
She said - is that a picture of Jamie when he is big!

Oh, and recently, I tried to get all the toy animals off the bed - I'm sure they are breeding, there are so many of them. I put them all in a basket next to the bed and suggested DS could choose 2 or 3 per night to share the bed. He was distraught and told me, "No one should have to sleep in a basket!" By the way, I obviously failed when discussing family relationships, as all his animals, or "the guys" as he calls them, are apparently his cousins

We have all had colds lately.

3 yr old: Do you have a runny nose?
Dad: Not anymore
3yr old: I have a runny nose. It's a bit like a poached egg, sometimes it's runny and sometimes it's not runny

Dd has got the idea we're all a different age, but spent ages yesterday asking 'how old is the plum, how old is the slide?' etc etc. Dh doesn't help the situation by answering with made up ages for all the inanimate objects.

I bet he can remember his roary egg at Easter. DD has spooked me often with things she remembered from months before since she was about two.

Loving it- badgers fave so far! Trying to remember dd funnies - I'm often in stitches, should write them down...

My DD (20m) gets stuck on words, spent all afternoon at nursery last week touching everyones head saying 'hair' Everytime she hears a car she says 'noise' She has also taken to waking me up by putting her fingers in my mouth and saying 'teeth' Weirdo

PMSL at some of these - Dying to know what roary egg is.

we have been attending breast feeding coffee mornings to prepare for the birth of DC4, DS2 2 has become obbsessed with my breast's
DS2.mummy get your boobies out
me.pardon
DS2.get boobies out, my want milk
cue me trying to explain that the baby will have milk but now he has his milk in a cup etc, he asks all the time and even asked his nana, her face was priceless

Whatever it is, can we breed more of them please??!!

Nephew (aged 4): "What eats politicians?"

Cue debate amongst adults as to whether answer is The Media or The Electorate.

ds: 'I like my new legs. And my new hands.'

me: 'That's nice dear but I didn't know they were new.'

ds: 'Yes, now I'm six I've got new legs and new hands.'

(It was his birthday yesterday.)

Some of these are so funny!

DS yesterday: Mummy, uhuhlo! Mummy uhuhlo! Mummy uhuhlo! Uhuhlo inna baff inna darden!

Me: There's a gruffalo in the paddling pool?

DS: Yeah, come. (takes me by the hand and leads me to the paddling pool where he stands hiding behind my legs and pointing)

Me: No it's ok ds, I don't think that's a gruffalo, it looks like a fly to me

DS: NO! Uhuhlo! uhuhlo eat you RAAAAARGH!(tries to push me into paddling pool)

Ds1 asked me last night "mummy what's that brown stuff under your tummy?" Cue long conversation about pubic hair, after which he added "when I'm grown up I'll have hair round my private parts, except my willy will poke through the middle of it and hang down." Lovely mental image!

He also asks really searching questions about God, like "if God made heaven, where was he when he made it?" Er .... oh and also "if God is everywhere, is he on top of my head/in my tummy/in my willy ..." etc etc.

I also have very happy memories of the random conversations we used to have on the way to nursery - where's that man going? Why? Has he got a car? Why is he bald? Etc. etc.

dd (2 next month) going to sleep, rolls over, eyes wide open - mummy, mummy, big question mummy.
me - what is it?
dd - boys
and she just look s at me, didn't have a clue where to start!

LOL at all these.

Re the Egg Mystery: he did get Roary eggs for easter. Surely he won't remember those will he? And what is weird is that he has only just started going on about eggs. I will definitely have to investigate further. It's not raw egg for sure. It was the raw egg that made him cry

Oh I hope this thread goes on forever!

Still crying from the string hanging out of mummy's willie! Thank you all so much!

Edam, I know - how low have I sunk. My cleavage once, firm, ripe and voluptuous, now resembles, evidently, a bucket.

I could cry, really.