Most bizarre conversation you have had with a toddler lately?

Hensmum, we've had that with our ds too. he's three.

DS (eating hot cross bun for breakfast, takes one bite of bottom half): Oh I can't eat this piece, it will turn me into a girl.
Me: I don't think it will darling.
DS: Yes it will. I'll eat this piece, it will turn me into an aeroplane. (Eats top half of hcb, makes zooming noises).
DS: I want more hot cross bun please.
Me: Finish that piece then (pointing to bottom half).
DS: (insistently) NO, it will turn me into a girl!
Me: OK, shall we get Daddy to have a bite and see if it will turn him into a girl?
(Daddy obliges).
DS (suspicious but grudging) OK... (eats the rest).

My mum was looking after DS (21 months) at the weekend. They spent quite a lot of time "driving" in her car (it's a Smart car, just the right size for DS). She puts a CD on, DS sits behind the wheel and presses any buttons he can reach.

Anyway, we were going out on Sunday and as we went to the car, DS headed towards the driver's seat saying "I drive".
DP: no, daddy's driving
DS: No, I drive
DP: no, daddy's driving today. You're sitting in your seat.
DP picked DS up to put him in the back with DS still shouting "I driving, I drive"

I didn't think we'd be having that row for at least another 15 years!

LOL at colour influencing liking something or not! DD4 does that with plasic cups. Give her milk milk in a red one is fine, give it to her in a blue one and you will hear ""yuck, that's 'gusting!""

DS1 has had a run of splinters in his foot recently necessitating tweezer and neeedle removal techniques.

He came screaming into my bedroom the other evening sobbing 'Mommy, get the squezers and take the sprinkle out of my toe'

he also has a habit of deciding whether likes or dislikes something based on colour... for example purple bouncing castles are bad apparently but orange are alright

DD4 (2 1/2)to whoever she meets for the first time "I fell over" (sad face on)

It is not often the case that she actually fell but it always gets people's attention!

She also answerd "exterminate" in true Dalek fashion to me when I was washing her after a trip to the toilet

What a brilliant thread!

DD was singing Incy Wincey Spider repeatedly in the car the other day. For what felt like hours.

She must have even bored herself as eventually she triumphantly declared:

Incy Wincy Spider... well ACTUALLY he had an umbrella, thats a good idea!

DD presented me with this conundrum this morning:

Can a ball of string knock over a bottle? What happens if the bottle has food in it? What happens if the bottle is tiny/massive? What happens if the ball of string is coming undone really quickly?

I wonder if there is enough time for me to set up experiments to prove/disprove these before the next poser...

Good suggestions Waitingforbedtime - but I have to ask - howon earth did you get Pocoyo from Boyogiog??

He does like Pocoyo so that could be it!!

Not mine but my very lovely 3 yr old neighbour whilst on the potty.

Dad; dd do you need some toilet paper now?

littlegirl; nope. got a rabbit.

When ds1 was 3, I was cutting some vegetables in the kitchen, this was the conversation

DS1: What you cutting mammy
Me: Its carrots
DS1: But carrots are soft, thats hard
Me: Thats because its raw carrot
DS1: (giggling) Silly mammy, lions roar, not carrots

Spicemonster - I'm still reading so you may have solved this - but is it possible he wants a chocolate egg? They had some Roary ones in the shops at easter - perhaps he's always hoping it's chocolate not the chicken sort?

My two come out with all sort of stuff (fire drills and emergencies are quite common at the mo), and DS1 (4) was sooooo pleased when the security man in Next asked to see his pass on Saturday. Should explain that he goes to nursery on a military base and passes are de rigeur - but only for staff!!! DS1 has made himself a pass and wears it most places.

Ah well - I was just glad that the toddler at the pool this morning who shouted, "Daddy you've got more hairs on your willy than on your head!" wasn't one of mine

When we had rushed in the gents toilets together as we couldn't find the ladies and both were desperate
DS (2.10) mummy, you don't have a widge
me - i don't think this is the best place to point that out

also DS
'i took my nipple with me to nursery today'

This thread is lovely.
I went away with my sister and her 2 children, about7/8 year ago. We were on the beach and my dniece was looking at the sea and she said
"Who put the water in then? the manager"

On the same holiday she tried watermelon for he first time and said "do they put the pips in for fancy?"
bless her, still makes me laugh no and she is 14.

DS1:mummy
DB:Yesssss
DS1 Long time ago, on a Mexico mountain
lived a boy, Angelo
DB:hmmmm, right- is he Dora the Explorer's friend?
DS1: Tsk no he had a very high family.
DBkaay, high on a mountain?
DS1:No, he ran away.

DB: Penny drops and I realise he's been listening to my mother's record collection a little to much for my liking. He was three. :-)

DD(4) on first introduction to her 2nd DB; after a long, thoughtful pause,

"Mummy, boys can sometimes turn into girls you know"

a bit young to go into explanations about that one I felt!

DD(4): "I know why Michael Jackson died"
Me: Yes, why?
DD: "Ants got into his tummy"

A couple of days later
DD: "Who's singing this song?" (on the radio)
Me: Michael Jackson
DD: "Don't be silly, Mummy. You can't sing when you are dead!"

spicemonster I wouldn't be surprised if he remembers the Roary egg too. Today we went to friend's house. We havent been there for about 6 months. DS1 (3) announced after lunch that he was just going into the living room to look for the tiny plastic motorbike stand that he lost the last time we were there!

We also had the other day:
DS1: Why does the gruffalo have spines on his back?
Me: I don't know
DS1: Maybe God made him that way
Me: Yes maybe
DS1: Maybe God's got spines on his back too

We also have the converstaions where he makes up life stories for the people he sees walkin along the road- that man's going to Daddy's work, that lady's going home for her tea, she's having pizza etc etc.

Also told dh today that he (dh) is the cleverest and I am the wrongest!

I thought he was odd but actually seems quite normal

Sorry ^ was to Goldensnitch.

DS (2) has big hopes for when he grows up..so far we have had 'When I be bigger boy I be poo / strawberry / the moon / clouds that go bang (thunder) / a baby'

I just say 'ok then' - does that make me a bad mother?!

Could be Turniphead but I'm not sure he's ever seen Bobinogs

Might be worth a try next time he asks though...Thanks

Could be bobinogs or pocoyo????

dd (4) "when I'm a boy will I have brown hair like ben 10?"

another one of her gems

"can you lay a baby so I can have a brother?"

Goldensnitch - could it be Bobinogs?

DH: come on, time to put your jeans back on please

DD: (aged 2) No daddy, not jeans on just legs please