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Original poster

I seem to have had an accident

180 replies

FanjoFiasco · 16/06/2009 21:34

oh god. I have injured my fanjo. I am not going to ring NHS direct - I can't! Help!

OP posts:
NoBiggy · 16/06/2009 21:57

Japanese chopsticks maybe, Chinese ones would be too blunt

whoisasking · 16/06/2009 21:57

In my experience, and believe me I've had many a faux yacht shoved up my clopper; the only way to deal with this is a salt water bath and a few verses of "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum"

I feel for you. 'tis a terribuuuul thing.

PlumBumMum · 16/06/2009 21:56

make sure the straw is one with a bendy head!

Aimsmum · 16/06/2009 21:56

Message withdrawn

PacificDogwood · 16/06/2009 21:56

If you do have to go to A+E they will treat you professionally, but they will also LAUGH, lots, in the staff room !!

nickytwotimes · 16/06/2009 21:56

PMSL at not finding out punchline.

LadyOfWaffle · 16/06/2009 21:56

Up periscope!

YanknCock · 16/06/2009 21:56

Definitely A&E.

I'm trying to imagine how much wine I'd have to have to allow something that splinters to be introduced in that area.....

The empty wine bottle would have been a better choice!

Original poster
FanjoFiasco · 16/06/2009 21:56

My BIL works as a registrar in A&E nicky, surely they would tell him. We have the same very unusual surname.

DH says he definetly can't find tweezers and has had 7 beers (I had wine too hence why the sticks seemed like fun) so he can't drive to tesco to get tweezers. He says do you think chopsticks would work? He has found a head lamp he got from FIL one year.

OP posts:
ThePhantomPlopper · 16/06/2009 21:56

A straw and a torch? That's an excellent idea.

LadyOfWaffle · 16/06/2009 21:55

We will never find out what's black & white, & red all over now!

differentID · 16/06/2009 21:55

do you have one of these handy?

PacificDogwood · 16/06/2009 21:55

Your DH needs a headtorch.

Jaquelinehyde · 16/06/2009 21:55

Why didn't you use a lolly stick with an actual lolly on it!

No splinters, and when finished he could have added the new stick to his collection and made his boat quicker.

Please make sure he thrown the sticks away and doesn't make a boat out of them stil

BCNS · 16/06/2009 21:55

your dh is very handy.. but.. are you sure you need his diy near your nethers again??

miners hat maybe??

PlumBumMum · 16/06/2009 21:54

hes a bit of an inventor then!?

PortBlacksandResident · 16/06/2009 21:53

Oh No! If they broke you won't be able to get the answers to the jokes written on them.

PlumBumMum · 16/06/2009 21:53

cocolepew

NoBiggy · 16/06/2009 21:53

How is anyone going to see to use tweezers anyway?

Original poster
FanjoFiasco · 16/06/2009 21:53

He is off to find a drinking straw and a torch to make a telescope to have a look for the splint...

OP posts:
LadyOfWaffle · 16/06/2009 21:53

You wouldn't get this with Waitrose ones! Tut tut.

Seriously, please tell me this is a windup so I can uncross my legs!

nickytwotimes · 16/06/2009 21:53

I am pretty sure this is a piss take, but if it is real then get to A and E. They have seen worse.

cocolepew · 16/06/2009 21:52

Isn't it safer to suck a splinter out? [innocent]

differentID · 16/06/2009 21:52

you don't have tweezers?

bargainhuntingbetty · 16/06/2009 21:52

Sorry OP, cross posts. Maybe you should go and get checked out at a&e, this might be one of those things that are more important than being embarassed.

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