Dear Husband (or Wife)... Just a quick note to let you know:

Thank you for buying a super-large mower which is too heavy for me to push so that I never have to mow lawns.

Thank you for dealing with all matters plumbing and electrical so that I do not have to get my head round any of that stuff.

Thank you for dealing with all my parking tickets and only shaking your head once

Thank you for unfailingly doing more than your share of the chores

But please would you stop buying things for the house? I know they are all bargains but thing is, bargains are only bargains if you actually want to use them in the first place.

We have never used the sandwich toaster, pink floral sunlounger, 3rd toolbox, brown net curtains (okay you did put them up but I took them straight down) something called a George Forman (which is nothing to do with boxing) rowing machine, handheld sewing machine, facial sauna, 3rd swingbin, catcomb, footspa, bargain 10 year old pc, 4th hand bike that is too small for anyone and anyhow we all already HAVE bikes ...

Dear DH,

I love you dearly, but please, would you refrain from expresing every thought you have every second you have it.

WOuld you also please take the lid of the laundry basket and place your dirty laundry inside, rather than leaving stuff on or beside it.

And it is not 'my' washing - it is ours.

Dearest Dh,

I love you very much, but do we really need 7 drum kits in the house at any one time?

And please, if you start a major job such as tiling the kitchen, can you please buy some more grout so it can be finished off.

Feel a bit better now.

Dearest DP,

Please understand that the dishwasher rules are simple - you only put the clean stuff away. The dirty stuff goes back in the dishwasher

Children make noise - deal with it they are not going to stop

When I am 6 mnths pregnant with a temperature of 39 degrees and trying to cook dinner for everyone whilst dealing with a tantruming 1 year old, this is not the time to decide to pull the sofa and toy box out and hoover behind them.

If you give a 1 yr old an open topped bottle to drink out of they will spill it, repeatedly, until you take it away from them, don't get cross with them for making a mess, also don't shake a matching bottle whilst they are drinking out of an open one

Whilst I realise that not all blokes have any sort of relationship with domestic appliances please understand that stating that you have done the dishwasher "for you" or mowed the lawn "for you" or any other general household task "for you" May result in me going fishing "for you" and how much fun would that be??

ahhh thats better.. Kitkat heads off for more paracetamol....

Can we add to this???? It reminds me of the "To the people who I bought my house from" Thread.

id love a top gear dvd from tescos.i get second hand 'L' plates and an out of date highway code with a broken promise that dh will pay for me to have driving lessons as a birthday present.suprisingly its not happened.

i do agree with farting(armpit and bottom)to a tune is very annoying.
and my dh does the 2 of everything too.