Here's the story, the visuals aren't that great but it was worth it.
Well you all know that UNBELIVABLY he did turn up. What a bloomin' chancer.
I was lurking with DS in the rain, not many people about at the entrance to Birdland. Or not many standing around. Decided to ditch the plaits in case I was rumbled. (and the Tiger Tshirt) (and the inflatable penguin). Also checking out every likely looking mum in case of MNetters secretly lurking.
Had to let DS into a bit of the secret as he (DS)obviously was keen to go and see the penguins.
Anyway, matey showed about 5 past 2, clearly not one to make a lady think he's too keen. He'd have had the first text by then, so will have known that Jane was running a bit late. Clocked him at once - Shiny your description was spot on!
He was wearing a lightweight showerproof jacket. Typical male descriptive powers, it had a great fat red stripe on it which you could pick up by satellite but he didn't tell Jane that of course. Obviously hadn't read the forecast properly as it was raining quite a bit by then.
Anyway, he did the walk about, read the leaflets, read the other leaflets, look at the map, check his phone, repeat all the above routine. I had to keep my head down as I didn't want him clocking that I had clocked him (too many clocks in that sentence).
And DS kept saying "the youknowwhat is still here". Me: Yes, darling, the lovely heron YOU MEAN etc etc.
Anyway, he crossed the road to check out who was coming along from both directions. Must have been then that he got your second text.
He then came back to the entrance bit and stood miserably and very wetly against a fence trying to shelter from the rain.
But, the great numpty - there's a shop at the entrance - you don't have to buy tickets, you can just go in and look at all the lovely, er, penguins. We were busying in and out of the shop to try to make it all less obvious. However, he just stood in the rain getting damper and damper with that look on his face that men have when they realise something's up, but they don't know what it is. If Jane had got there first she'd have waited in the shop.
Well by then, the pressure was on from DS to go and see the penguins being fed. However, we did manage to nip back a few minutes later, only to see him still standing dripping under the fence.
And there, ladies, the story ends. I was hoping Jane could lure him into the penguin enclosure itself, but it was not to be.
Couldn't believe my eyes, ladies, I tell you, when I saw him turn up, all ready to get cosy with Jane.