To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

Why did you see fit to take all the oven racks and grill pan from the build-in cooker, did you really think we'd bring own own...??
And after agreeing (and signing to confirm) to leave some curtains and all the rails why oh why did you take all the curtain rails, poles, curtains and blinds with you? it was interesting moving in at 6pm and trying to get the DC to sleep in a strange house surrounded by mess with nothing at any window, also ensuring they (and us naturally) woke up at the crack of dawn......
Bless your lying arse.

Iwon;t bite- it wasn't secondary doubleglazing, because i too have seen that and that is a proper unit put over the top of the original. This was literally a cavity cut in the wall, so that a second totally normal window was put in front of the first. Even the builder said he had never seen anything like it in his life!

Oh, and why did you choose to have a bidet in the middle of the bedroom and leave us a photo of yourself sat on it?

Why did you leave a white fluffy dressing gown hanging behind the bedroom door which when turned over was covered in sh#t?

Why didn't you tell us that the house had a previous tenant who then made a claim to live in our kitchen and chased us through court (on Legal Aid) for 5 years, costing us £20,000?

Oh yes that's right because you're a cheating scumbag who left the country as soon as we bought the house.

heebeejeebee MIL has done the shower thing, the shower only works with cold water as the hot isn't strong enough to keep the knob up! So erm...anyone buying her house (she is selling) beware, you may find you can only have cold showers. The new bathroom looks very nice though

This is brilliant. I don't have any horror stories to tell except for mushrooms growing round the sink in a rented house but I've just wasted half an hour reading this when I should have been working.

When you painted the bedroom (bright blue) why could you not be bothered to move your wardrobes, leaving me the outline of the twin towers in the original white paint in my bedroom?

Why did you carpet in the bathroom?

Why did you tell me you were leaving the (v nice) cooker, then substitute it for the cheapest 4 hob oven money can buy?

Why did you install one of those showers that requires high pressure for the hot water to work when the water pressure was ridiculously low generally? The pump I've installed works a treat though..

Why did you never bother installing a nightstore heater (or indeed any form of heating) in the bedroom? The developers left you a switch ready - all you needed to do was ask someone to put one in!

Can I just ask
a) what the fuck is the burglar alarm code?
or
b) if you don't know what the fucking code is can you try to remember who put the goddam thing in !

Why did you install the combi boiler on the wall beside the toilet meaning one had to lean sharply to the left when sitting on it.

Why did you glue chopped up doormats to the tread on the lovely oak stairs.

Why did you think three disgustingly filthy loo brushes would make a nice welcome gift for us? And why did you need three loo brushes? One for every member of the family?

Why did you have a bright red lightbulb in the master bedroom?

Why did you paint the squares of the sash window in the dining room with food colourings, and presumably you never cleaned them afterwards.

When you re-carpeted your bedroom why did you only do round the bed leaving a nice red square underneath the bed surrounded by a sea of light green carpet

Why did you not tell all your 'clients' that they could no longer get drugs from this address necessitating a change of phone number and weirdos hanging round outside? Thanks.

My landlord is clearly lovely - did up our flat really nicely (he was living in it at the time).

But why is the smoke alarm in the kitchen, where it goes off whenever anything is cooking? Even just boiling pasta, so I know it's not a reflection on my cooking skills!

LOL at this thread. I think Laurence Llewellyn Bowen & his changing room cronies have a lot to answer for.

In my pervious owner'es defence the house was spotless but...

Why did you panel over the front room's fireplace wall with orange tongue & groove, and cover the ceiling with patterned polystyene tiles?

When you extended the back room, why did you make the new ceiling lower by a whole 18" than the existing ceiling?

How did you amass such a collection of patterned anaglypta wallpapers - 13 at the last count?

Why did you make an internal window between the hall and the back room, and what is that electrical socket in the sill?

But thanks you for leaving the 1950s retro vintage kitchen alone. I love it

Why did you carpet the kitchen?

Why (WHY? WHY?) did you paint the banister, floorboards, doors and woodwork in black gloss?

Why did you plant so very many hideous, poisonous, spiky old plants in the garden?

All this makes me think that snagging lists on a brand new house woudn't be so bad after all!!!!!!

I think that there is something about rented houses and red and or red swirly carpets - I can still vividly remember one from my student days - the pattern repeat was probably about 2m

Love this thread

Am slightly scared though as we are thinking of buying. Shall now check for buried mattresses, foam walls, blocked drains etc with extra care

To my dear landlady,

Why the woodchip and artex? Why?

And why, when you did the damp proofing did you not strip and re-paint the whole wall? Did you think that it added a certain something to have the lower third of the wall bare, painted plaster with the upper third in woodchip?

Why, when you clearly went to the trouble of damp proofing did you not do it properly? Why do I still get mould in half my house?

Why the red carpets?

Why is the living room 3 different shades of green, none of which go together?

Diud you paint the house such horrible colours to go with the cheap paintings you've hung or did you find the paintings to match the rooms?

Why bother getting a brand new cooker if after living here a few months we already have to turn everything half way through cooking ot get it to cook evenly?

Why did you not remove the extra sensitive extra loud fire alarm that goes off whenever you have a shower or cook anything (it went off when I cooked pancakes the other day, I beg of you!)

Why is the washing machine plumbed badly into the sink so that you have to remember to remove all washing fromt he machine before doing the washing up to avoid all your clean clothes being soaked in dish water?

Why does it smell of rotten eggs when you first run the kitchen taps? I have put every chemical in the world down all the drains yet it still persists.

Oh I do feel better

Yes why didn't you tell us there was no TV reception?

Why didn't you tell us all the plug sockets were single sockets?

Did you have to take out all your bathroom fittings leaving holes in several tiles?

Other than that we have been pretty lucky with our house!

On a house that I didn't contemplate buying once I had seen it:

Why did you point out that all the pine cladding throughout the kitchen (walls, floor to ceiling) was your own work in the last 5 years - it was a throwback to the 70's and would have been a nightmare to get off and redo?

Why did you think that pointing out the damp patches in the basement and saying 'don't worry, its not damp, my dog comes down here to have a wee when I'm out' was a positive thing to say...?

A house we viewed before buying this one ...

... did one of your adult children, having watched House Doctor, tell you houses sold better these days if painted neutral colours? Is that why your bought a job lot of builder's magnolia emulsion and painted one thin coat over every single flat surface, original feature, area of embossed wallpaper and plasterwork problem, including the original oak front door? Obviously doing so whilst chain smoking as the fag smoke was apparently permanently embedded in the paint effect?

why did you try to remove the light fittings and leave the wires all exposed?

why did you not tell us that there is zero television reception here and can't get Sky.

why did you not tell us you'd had a 17-year long feud with evil neighbour?

and do you want your copy of "How to make love to the same person for the rest of your life" back?

(in house before this one)

Why did you smoke in the downstairs cloke room, which had no window, thus leaving the doors and walls yellow and unable to get rid of the smell until we had it painted?

Why did you leave behind your manky, smelly old double bed, that we had to get rid of.
And why did you never clean your hob, so I had to scrape the fat and grease off with a knife.
And the fitted cupboards in the lounge were fake cupboards, just the front parts of cupboards put on the wall to hide piles of unfinished brickes and concrete.
And how could you have ever had a bath in that bathroom, the bath thick with black grime and dirt?

I rent and I'd like to know why most of the houses we end up are badly affected by condensation mould? Why, when I first notice the smell, the estate agents fob me off by saying that the house has not been lived in?
Why, if you had no problems with mould before, was there fresh paint on the walls most badly affected?
Why, when you know we have children living here, would you tell the agents to tell us that we have to move the furniture round on a regular basis, have the heating on and open all windows every day?
Why you would bodge important things like securing the attic opening properly, so that it does not fall down on dh (could have been the kids) one day?
Why would you only do short-term repairs on the boiler so that it breaks down on a regular basis leaving us with no hot water?
Why would owners presume that renters are happy to live in botched, badly maintained houses? Do you really think we are that desperate? It's not good enough for you to live in so you think you can pass it off on the likes of us?

WHY did you paint the front door, brass house numbers and letterbox in a mixture of woodstain, paint and creosote?

WHY didn't you use an undercoat before painting the red kitchen bright yellow?

WHY didn't you position the bath with the taps end beside the wall so that installing a shower attachment would be possible without piddling water all over the floor?

WHY did you then also put the toilet and sink in the same corner leaving enough room to swing a DC?

WHY did you experiment with the look of pink paint only on one part of one radiator?

WHY did you decorate my bedroom wall with leaves then try to disguise them with a different shade of paint?

Having said all that, it seems I got off lightly!