To The People Who Owned My House Before Me I Would Just Like To Ask

Why did you never visit specsavers to solve your eye problem so that every plug socket and light switch you replaced weren't wonky?

Why did you take (almost) all the skirting boards off the wall in the living room with you and leave the walls looking shocking?

Why did you not tell us you had neighbours from hell who slashed your tyres when you reported their shocking behaviour to the council?

Why oh Why did I have to view your house?

hehe yes, I fell for the "potential" thing too. thankfully nothing half as bad as some of the stuff on this thread though
we have some rather dodgy electrics and evil textured wallpaper but that's about it.

am pmsl at this though, as is dp

sorry but rofl at the foam walls. Perhaps relative bounced off them due to 'ishooos'?

Did you lot not see your houses before you moved in?

HA! why did you paint the walls pink and the ceilinf, coving, fireplace and woodwork of the 6 origional bay sash windows peach?

It was like being in a battenberg cake.

Why were the bedroom ceilings navy blue?

Why did you drill the huge hole in the front room wall? Was it for your Tumble Dryer hose? Because if so that is so stupid!

Also why did you not clean the toilet or Bath, becuase now i have ingrained dirt in the bath that wont come out however much i scrub and i have a stained bog. You also felt it necissary to Carpet the side of the bath with skanky brown carpet, why was that? Was it to match the pink WALLPAPER in the bathroom and the brown tiles?

Also whilst im here why oh why would you cover the second bedroom walls in foam? Oh becuase of damp you say....... did you stop to think that i would never be able to get it off and thats is a nobby idea in the first place and that now if you lean on the walls your hand goes right through them...............................

Why did you riddle the house with TV aerial sockets, when none of them were actually connected to the aerial on the roof?

Why did you describe the evil witch next door as "a sweet old thing, really"?

Surely it would have been better to use picture hooks rather than no-nails to secure your pictures to the wall

Stealthsquiggle - I hold Phil and Kirsty responsible!

Why on earth did you paint the bathroom acid yellow? was it to go with or to contrast with the avocado suite?

why did you have 2 different floorings on the kitchen floor? lino then a different lino?

why when you decorated the house before putting in on the market did you not move the furniture? why dd you paint around the furniture leaving strange furniture shaped gaps on all the walls? throughout the whole house?

weird lazy bastards.

Why did you do all your intial corgi training in my house? I can't quite believe a qualified fitter would have made such a hash of replacing a boiler.

3 boiler breakdowns and 2 leaks later...and we've only been in the house 18 months.

PMSL at the above.

iwontbite - one word for you - "potential"

We all fell for it

How did you not notice that BOTH toilets were just flushing under the floor downstairs - how could you not smell it and so notice the broken drains?

Why did you not clean the kitchen EVER? In fact why did you not clean anywhere full stop?

How oh how did you not notice that your ds had left a fully loaded poopy pair of underpants in the airing cupboard about 10 years ago? (Offending underpants were age 3-4, the sons were at least 14 and 16 when they left ). Did you in fact have no sense of smell at all?

Did you think the 2 inch thick line of golden lab dog hairs along the edge of every carpet added to the decor perchance?

...if you remembered putting £250 in out of use £5 notes in the bedroom cupboard

oh

and 'thanks!'

Why did you glue the carpet to the floor

Why did you install a shower but no toliet in the en-suite

Why did you paint the lovely original Victorian coving orange

Why did you leave the work surfaces dirty for so long I had to remove the grease using a wallpaper scraper

Why were you such a pair of grasping old bastards

why on earth did all of you people that owend our very first home before we did not bother to pull up the old kitchen flooring before you put new down.

As when our house was flooded and the kitchen floor needed to be replaced the fitters had to removed not one, not two, not even three layers of Vinyl - but 5 - it took them bloody hours, and by the time they're ripped up the remains of the 50yr old vinyl (or whatever they used in those days) off the floor the entire floor needed that ghastly screed put on - I was pg at the time and the smell, combined with having all my white goods in my lounge for over 24hrs nearly led me to kill my husband.

And why in gods name did the person who last decorated this house decide that wallpapering the door to the cupboard under the stairs (in the most hideous striper paper ever) the same as the walls was a good idea - I didn't even know the frigging thing existed for 3 days after moving in!

Oh and last ones - you cocky bastards who owned our last house before we did - yes we did eventually find out why you used masonary paint on the bathroom wall, and put the wood panelling along the bottom half of that wall - oh yes we did - when we got fed up of it all flaking off and discovered the entire wall was WET with damp.

And was it a small child you sprayed round in the garage? I know you did up motorbikes in there but why does the outline on the wall look distinctly.....human.

Why did you never put up ANY blinds or curtains in the back of the house at all?
Why paint the hall luminous yellow?
Why try and cover the dirty walls by painting random bits with magnolia paint?
Why carpets in the bathrooms?
Why didn't you get the front bedroom window fixed, it was freezing in there?
Why didn't you pay the bills, so I wouldn't get baliffs round and have to prove I wasn't you by showing them my passport?

Oh and why did you turf over the drain cover in the backgarden? You know - the bit where the lawn goes CLUNK!

girlandboy - that is truely shocking!

And why when you decorated one of the bedrooms and the dining room did you not bother taking the old wallpaper off, instead you just papered on top of what was there. Thanks.

do you lot not view houses before you buy them????