Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

Crap Tips

522 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 11/03/2009 15:15

'Things to do with...plastic cd cases. Save lots and paint them with letters for a giant scrabble board'

This handy tip was in last weeks Pick me Up magazine. Why!? and What!?

Share some please, real or made up. I need cheering up.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 15/03/2009 21:45

LOLOL at KingRolos last Eggcellent link - look at the third one down re vinegar cleaner. WHY is it accompanied by a picture of Olive from On The Buses??

Also genius of the PlanningCommitte to post that tip of a vase made out of playdo! Lol that must have looked lovely.

BottySpottom · 14/03/2009 15:57

'so perfectly squidgy'

KingRolo · 14/03/2009 12:54

Egg-cellent!

My word, those eggs look a bit like willies!

ActivityApple · 14/03/2009 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DSM · 14/03/2009 00:16

OMG

The girl with the penpal and the cider.. she was 18 in the 80's.. and still living at home, single, with her parents in 2004.

''My job working with horses meant early mornings and early nights, so it didn't leave much time for a social life. ''
No shit.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 23:45
Grin
OP posts:
applepudding · 13/03/2009 22:10

This is one I read once

To save time and money always go to the toilet during work time so that you can use works time and save on your loo roll....

ThePlanningCommittee · 13/03/2009 21:33

LOL LOL LOL this thread is ace Nothing has made me laugh so much all week.

I too am a secret fan of Take A Break / Pick Me Up etc (I always feel like I'm buying porn though and dread getting caught red-handed if I'm in the corner shop).

Going back to GetOrfMoiLand's original comment ("Look, you can make this useless crap by painting another random pile of crap!"), this week's TAB features the following tip:

"I had a small shelf in my dining room but could find nothing pretty to place on it. I covered an empty bottle in playdough, created a pattern using a hairpin, then buffed it up with shoe polish. With dried flowers in, it adds an artistic touch to the room."

Yep, that sounds really attractive.

FairLadyRantALot · 13/03/2009 21:26

oh to me the funniest ever are the " may contains nuts" when you buy anything nutty...i.e. NUTS/NuTS OIL etc...I mean, erm, I woulod be mightily disappointed if there wasn't a nut in sight in my chocolate coated brazilnuts...lol

chequersmate · 13/03/2009 21:19

Oh, oh, in all seriousness, I am not making this up.

I once saw one printed suggesting you use old, previously used disposable razors for peeling carrots. I shit you not!

Quattrocento · 13/03/2009 21:16

Thanks for this thread

One gem from one of those links

If you have material blinds or curtains by your sink, pop them in a plastic bag while you're washing up, to prevent them getting splashed and stained.
Rosemary Oliver, Evesham, Worcestershire

theDreadPiratePerArdua · 13/03/2009 21:13

Fundraising thought - someone send in a picture of hubby in the nuddy with a child's trike parked in their crack and I will donate at least £10 to rhubarb

chequersmate · 13/03/2009 20:56

Actually, it was either leatherette or faux leather - it was a gift from my Mother from a Greek Island.

I spent many hours wondering what the fark to do with it, and that was what I came up with

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 20:55

i do wonder when these people spill intimate details of their lives, especially in small twond. Does it not affect them?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 20:54

Bumbag! Fabulous, was it a vintage 80's shell suit material one?

OP posts:
chequersmate · 13/03/2009 20:48

Well, it was basically to put pegs in a bumbag to make hanging out the washing easier.

I was chuffed with the £50, I wasn't earning much at the time.

I was less chuffed when everyone at work saw it.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 20:45

chequersmate that's amazing! spill the details!

OP posts:
chequersmate · 13/03/2009 20:42

I fear the thread has moved on but felt that I must disclose that I once had a top tip printed in Take A Break. Not only that, there was an accompanying photo of me demonstrating the tip as that provided more cash

Actually though, I did make £50 out of it and I'd do it again if I could think of another one.

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 20:39

All of the writing is subtle genus, it must be semi ironic and knowing, surely?.

OP posts:
cyteen · 13/03/2009 19:47

There's still no emoticon for what I'm feeling re. My back fat had a mind of its own. The writing is surely some form of subtle genius:

"[My dad] lived half-an-hour away in Blackwood, but since my mum, Meryl, 41, had died of cancer back in 1994, we'd become really close. Which meant he got to hear me constantly moaning about my back."

!!!

Original poster
TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2009 18:58

Oh yes, surely the whole point of an illuminated mirror is to feel like a film star?

OP posts:
KingRolo · 13/03/2009 18:37

OK, I'm dragging myself off the PMU website now.

But it's hard when I keep finding gems like this...

Glamorous mirror!

I have always wanted an illuminated mirror, just like the ones in my local salon, but they are so expensive. Instead, I decided to stick a battery powered, push-on light from my local pound store onto my make-up mirror. It works brilliantly!
Emily McDool, Rotherham

So, so glamorous!

KingRolo · 13/03/2009 17:41

ROFL at fake goldfish!

Don't forget to keep the carrots in a bucket of sand.

JohnnyTwoHats · 13/03/2009 17:38

Wouldn't that just look like you had loads of dead goldfish though? rofl

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 13/03/2009 17:35

TarkaLiotta