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Original poster

Does anyone fancy going a bit Stepford with me?

623 replies

BEAUTlFUL · 24/11/2008 22:32

I regret that title now! but will carry on regardless...

Basically, I have recently read a marriage book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by helen Andelin, written in the 1960's, and am starting to practise it in my marriage. It involves a lot of work, but good work, IYKWIM, accepting DH, admiring him, appreciating his efforts, listening to him, being a "domestic goddess", taking over childcare completely, settling him with a drink when he comes home, etc.

I'm LOVING it and actually weirdly feel a lot happier and more confident since I started it! I know it's not going to be popular with many of you, but is there anyone out there who fancies trying it out?

We could do it like a sort of bookclub, and follow the assignments every week. It promises to make your DH absolutely gaga in love again, v attentive, romantic, etc.

But more than that, it really teaches you acceptance, so if they're not being perfect, it really doesn't get to you as much. Or at all.

I know it'll get scoffed at, but I don't care really!

Anyone? It's hard work, but I'm convinced it's worth it as after just 3 weeks, DH and I feel so much closer, he is saying ILY all the time, we are laughing again, holding hands in bed, etc.

Even my mum has noticed. We went there for lunch and afterwards Mum rang up and said, "What's with you two? Your DH looks so happy and confident, and your body-language together was so 'united'!"

OP posts:
ToThrottleablackbird · 25/11/2008 01:02

pmpl

pooter · 25/11/2008 00:57

ta thumbwitch. I think it was desperation that drove me to considering joining in with Beautiful! Honestly, some days i think im going to whack him with a pan. Hes having some time off soon (works very long hours - more like having an invisible messy teenager than a husband!) so im hoping we can sort out an equitable division of labour. ie, he owes me big time!

thumbwitch · 25/11/2008 00:53

for you pooter - sounds like your DH needs some kind of rocket up the arse, don't think he's likely to change much now, though.

thumbwitch · 25/11/2008 00:38

you don't have to BE a troll to indulge in a bit of trollery, I know Beautiful has been around for a while, I have seen her post before too. But I still think (and really hope!) that this is a tongue-in-the-cheek wind-up thread. If not, she's having a delusional episode (although I am glad for her that she is having fun with it!)

pooter · 25/11/2008 00:33

ok - i think i understand where Beautiful (who i think i have seen on MN for quite a while) is coming from.

I have a husband who never lifts a finger if he can help it. It drives me round the bend and i have posted in absolute frustration on MN in the past. We have had almighty rows, i have cried, i have considered leaving etc etc. I'm a SAHM on anti-depressants and my house is in chaos. Before the whole 'handing over control of the finances' bombshell was dropped i actually thought "Hmmm.....so this has worked for someone....maybe i'll give it a go".

I am in no way subservient to anyone, and when my PIL visit i turn apoplectic with rage at their master/servant relationship - but i need something to change in my marriage. He just doesnt respond to anything ive tried so far.

I really envy those of you whose husbands wouldnt want you to be a domestic goddess. I would love for my DH to take some responsibility for our home/child - but he won't. If its going to be up to me anyway, then perhaps i should just 'suck it up' and do a decent job of it instead of getting angry and frustrated.

But no way am i relinquishing control of the money. That is just setting yourself up for a fall. How many women trust their husbands 100% then find they've been screwed over. Just read MN.

dsrplus8 · 25/11/2008 00:32

hiya napies . do you want a drink? we are toasting the troll!

Nappiesgalore · 25/11/2008 00:29

... how very odd...

anyfucker · 25/11/2008 00:17

my sides are aching...

thumbwitch · 25/11/2008 00:16

Fill'er up dsrplus8 - Slainte! To a good bit of trollery.

dsrplus8 · 25/11/2008 00:13

fuck it ,anyone for vodka???>

StayFrosty · 25/11/2008 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anyfucker · 25/11/2008 00:12

and stick a broom up your arse so you can sweep up on the way.......

Tortington · 25/11/2008 00:11

pmsl humphrey!!!!

yeah and a cake - homemade, and hurry up about it, ive been working all day, not like you you lazy arse slacker

thumbwitch · 25/11/2008 00:11

ech, they look like tongue in cheek "look at pore li'l lady me" statements.

sweetgrapes · 25/11/2008 00:11

the tea would be good though.

sweetgrapes · 25/11/2008 00:10

Why thumbwitch?
[naive]

Saturn74 · 25/11/2008 00:10

Bless you, Beautiful.

Now shut up and make us all a cup of tea, will ya?

anyfucker · 25/11/2008 00:09

beautiful, don't be embarassed

you have made my fucking night, honestly

thumbwitch · 25/11/2008 00:08

By BEAUTlFUL on Mon 24-Nov-08 23:51:44
"Oh God. Look, stop posting to me so manfully! You just know I'm weak and will crumble!

I didn't think it was that bad. I was only doing it for fun. I just wanted a bit more hair-stroking."

By BEAUTlFUL on Mon 24-Nov-08 23:57:10

"Am I the only one to read something and be so spineless impressionable to have leapt all over it like it's The Answer and then tried to convert everyone else?"

I present these 2 statements as evidence in the case of "beautiful is trolling", M'Lud and ladies.

differentID · 25/11/2008 00:07

Yes, beautiful, your dh is probably shocked about this complete change- probably scared that you'll end up jumping out from behind a curtain with a carving knife. He is probably shitting himself right now. I know mine would be.

Original poster
BEAUTlFUL · 25/11/2008 00:07

I'm embarrassed - so embarrassed - that I ever started this. And that people can't believe I'm a real person. eep.

I read the book and got all enthused. You haven't read it. She's so convincing. she has filled it with millions of "success stories" from women whose husbands are just adorable, over-the-top lovely, and I thought, "I'll have some of that!"

The house was in chaos anyway, so it didn't hurt. You're not allowed to tell your DH what you're doing well, of course you can, it's not like joining a cult (help, is it?!), but it won't be as effective so I just flung myself into it and began going all 50s.

DH kept a sceptical "How long is this going to last?", "What have you done?", "Look, just tell me when it was towed to and I'll have it picked up" sort of distance for 2 days, then just exploded into niceness and I really thought I was on to something.

I haven't given up work (I work part-time), but I have given him control of the money, as a) I'm SHITE at it, and b) I trust him 100% absolutely, and c) A bit more responsibility wouldn't hurt him in that direction... One of us needs to feel the pressure/worry of it all, and why can't that be him?

OP posts:
anyfucker · 25/11/2008 00:07

dsr, you are crackin me up

what a weird evening on MN this has turned out to be

I have sobbed-with sadness and laughter

I must go to bed now

Tortington · 25/11/2008 00:06

your right of course.

off to mek a brew, bbs, calmer

dsrplus8 · 25/11/2008 00:05

[quattrocentro, pmsl roflol/ hey beautiful if your not a troll sorry, the men in white coats will be with u shortly , theyll tell u what to do , when to take the meds, when u can phone home ,when to get up and go to bed......youll love it !!

dittany · 25/11/2008 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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