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Original poster

Help ds1 has made a large clay cock

246 replies

FrannyandZooey · 28/07/2008 19:21

I mean it is an erect penis. It is in proportion and quite detailed. He didn't intend it for a cock as far as I know - he was just messing about with clay, but the finished model is quite unmistakeably in the shape of a man's genitalia. It has a bell end and everything.

Normally when ds has made a model we varnish it and put it on the windowsill. He is very proud of this model. Wtf am I going to do? I have the health visitor coming round this week and it is not really going to impress her is it.

OP posts:
ExterminAitch · 29/07/2008 21:04

lol at MrSell.

southeastastra · 29/07/2008 21:04

put it artfully next to the blue tree

WilfSell · 29/07/2008 21:03

'I have artfully draped a tea towel over the cock so it isn't visible from the street'

Yes. The DH says this to me all the time, reclining on the sofa.

Beauregard · 29/07/2008 21:01

Have you given 'it' a name though Franny?
It is worthy of one

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 29/07/2008 20:59

well we got through the day without any papier mache vulvas appearing

I have artfully draped a tea towel over the cock so it isn't visible from the street

OP posts:
hanaflower · 29/07/2008 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IdrisTheDragon · 29/07/2008 16:35

at ever hardening cock

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 29/07/2008 16:28

thank you for your concern for its well being
it is air drying clay so it just keeps on getting harder
not many cocks you can say that about

OP posts:
Songbird · 29/07/2008 15:40

Holy crap that really is a cock'o'clay! Going back to DorrisMcWhirter's comment - you could have it 'as a treat' in your room

MaloryTowersUrbaniteLady · 29/07/2008 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherby · 29/07/2008 15:34

I just opened that pic and DD said

oh its a xmas hat

lazaroulovesleggings · 29/07/2008 15:05

PMSL! It looks like it's sitting on a turd!

MamaG · 29/07/2008 12:53

and is it still, um, standing?

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 29/07/2008 11:26

ok he says "it is just shapes mummy" and on being further pressed "it is just a MODEL"

he is a bit about our interest in the cock tbh, especially as he made a really nice one of boats at the same timr

OP posts:
MamaG · 29/07/2008 10:27

Agree you have to ask him w hat it is

LilRedWG · 29/07/2008 10:19

It's a work of art!! Please DO NOT destroy it. Bring it out at his future wife's hen party instead.

QuintessentialShadows · 29/07/2008 09:58

Reminds me of a little diddle us kids used to sing:

A Lady near Hay
made herself a cock in clay
she poured over codliver oil
and soon she had a bun in the oven.

Well done on your ds's inspired masterpiece!

mrsbabookaloo · 29/07/2008 09:45

I enjoyed this so much last night that I'm bumping it for the daytime crowd to have a laugh.

NotQuiteCockney · 29/07/2008 06:57

I, too, read this as 'clock' and couldn't see why it was getting so many replies!

Your DS is lovely Frances. If it helps, he probably doesn't think it's a cock. I know my boys actually saw some Chapman stuff, a few years back (DS1 was probably your DS's age) and didn't recognise the penises (penii?) in it as penises, presumably because they were circumcised, erect, or both.

So it is clearly an accident, or some sort of Jungian thing.

Maybe Daddy needs to have it on his desk at work? [helpful]

escape · 29/07/2008 06:36

Mrs weasly - thats like something from little Britain!
F&Z best thread I've read in a loooong time
More worried about the clay turd he's mounted his masterpiece upon though...

ninedragons · 29/07/2008 05:46

This thread is making me wish I had been a bit more diligent about doing my pelvic floor exercises.

I vote save it for his wedding present.

UnderRated · 29/07/2008 05:00

MrsWeasly

MrsWeasley · 28/07/2008 23:23

I was once helping at a pre-school and we we doing playdough and one child was making something that looked very similar to F&Z masterpiece. I innocently said "oh thats a nice snake" the DC looked at me and said in a very loud voice "Its not a snake its a big cock" I didnt know where to look. Oddly enough I was never asked to help there again

duomonstermum · 28/07/2008 23:18

ooohhhh my stomach huuurrrtttssss. was on the mobile to DH and all he got was me wheezing down the line for 5mins before i told him i'd call him back. not fit to do so have txted him. he is now on his way home to have a gander......

theinsider · 28/07/2008 23:14

I asked for direction to the most amusing thread on mumsnet tonight.

Many thanks to IdrisTheDragon.

And of course FrannyandZooey DS. Fantastic

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