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Super soaker etiquette at parties

411 replies

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 19:22

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

OP posts:
Hulababy · 17/07/2008 20:48

Sorry, but unless it is a prearranged water party for all children being invited, and all children will have such soakers with them, all able to join in then it is not right IMO.

SorenLorensen · 17/07/2008 20:48

Have you seen this? Very timely...

Mutt · 17/07/2008 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:47

Whatever he heard the host mother say, you telling him that he can't take it and the reasons why, are the most appropriate and best way of saying no.

CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 20:47

ARRGGGGHHHHH!

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:45

As my son has himself heard the host mother herself say that he can bring his super soaker subject to the weather, I think the weather reason is the best way of saying no.

Bringing a super soaker to an outdoors summer party with the host's permmission is not wrong per se IMO.

OP posts:
CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 20:45

the bday child that is also feisty ? oh what a great combination !

I bet the host Mum is stocking up on the gin for tomorrow night !

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:43

Tigermoth -you've started this thread as a wind-up, haven't you? You must have. Well it looks like it worked.
You were never seriously thinking of letting your ds go with the supersoaker, were you?
Own up.

nappyaddict · 17/07/2008 20:43

is the spare one going to be given to the bday child?

onceinalifetime · 17/07/2008 20:42

Is this a wind-up?

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:41

He's 8yo. Surely if you explained to him how it wouldn't really be polite to take it to the party, then he would want to not spoil the girls party. Just talk to him about it.

unfitmother · 17/07/2008 20:41

She's not listening!!

pgwithnumber3 · 17/07/2008 20:40

This thread is hilarious.

flowerybeanbag · 17/07/2008 20:40

I really don't know what there is to 'mull over'. I can't think of any possible reason why anyone would think this was a good idea, I really can't.

onceinalifetime · 17/07/2008 20:40

I say a big fat NO too. Can't believe that you are still pursuing the idea and the fact that you won't be there at the beginning of the party makes it even worse. The other mother has got more than enough to think about. Sorry but it just sounds like you cave into whatever your ds wants without considering the needs of others. Stop being so selfish!

morningpaper · 17/07/2008 20:40

YOU ARE CRAZY

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE

IT IS LIKE TALKING TO MY 2 YEAR OLD

Where is Psycho and her drunk dinner party guest

pgwithnumber3 · 17/07/2008 20:40

Tigermoth how would you feel if you arranged a party for your DS, one of the mum's asked if her DS could bring some custard pies and then start throwing them at the other children and generally being a PITA? You would be secretly fuming. Why can't your DS just go to the party and play like the rest of the children?

sis · 17/07/2008 20:39

yes, but he will be taking extra stocks of water with him! Tbh, the amount of water isn't really the point. Gosh, I'm going to leave it now because this is all a bit to one-sided.

flowerybeanbag · 17/07/2008 20:38

Why would you tell him it was purely because of the weather? Why can't you just say no and tell him why (all the reasons people have said here)? No harm in him learning about stuff like this at his age.

Hulababy · 17/07/2008 20:38

So let him run around with the other guests, in the same way they are going to be doing? TBH if running around type party - probably even more reason as to why it would be wrong and unfair to take it. The logistics will be a real pain for the host. If all running about very eas chance of people who don't want to be wet getting wet.

Mutt · 17/07/2008 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:37

It's not that I am afraid to tell my son 'NO' - honest!

It's just that I am mulling it over.

OP posts:
pgwithnumber3 · 17/07/2008 20:37

FGS Tigermoth, are you terrified of your DS? If there isn't going to be a lot of water, what is the point in taking them anyway?

CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 20:37

Brick wall - bang head !

Hulababy · 17/07/2008 20:36

And why does the only reason for not taking it have to be the weather? Why can yiu not explain to him why it wouldn't be fair on the other children, especially the birthday girl, if he had it? Why can he not be told that as a guest he should join in with the arranged activities and not plan his own games excluding everyone bar him and one friend?

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