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Original poster

Omg what do I do now?

620 replies

chocolatemuffin75 · 19/02/2026 22:04

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Moonandstarsandsun · 20/02/2026 20:52

Hahahaha just say family emergency

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/02/2026 20:43

Babyijustdontgetit · 20/02/2026 20:34

I meant reply to his reply about the whiskers as seems rude to leave it!

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I don't think it's rude.
She doesn't even know this man.

Babyijustdontgetit · 20/02/2026 20:34

SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 16:41

OP has already replied.

Show quote history

I meant reply to his reply about the whiskers as seems rude to leave it!

SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 20:32

goingtotown · 20/02/2026 20:26

No Glastonbury this year

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That’ll be why Mr Hoop has time for OLD, then Grin

abitsadbuthappy · 20/02/2026 20:31

@Bikergran Hilarious and they wonder why they get nowhere!

Lilactimes · 20/02/2026 20:28

Once you get the ick - that is it - game over 😂

goingtotown · 20/02/2026 20:26

dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 20:06

'Thanks. Hope Glasto goes well this year'.

Block.

No Glastonbury this year

Terfarina · 20/02/2026 20:13

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

I dumped a dude cos he took me to see a film I didn't like

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 20:13

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

He was a lorry driver 😂 but this didn’t bother me, should it have?

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 20:06

'Thanks. Hope Glasto goes well this year'.

Block.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 20/02/2026 19:49

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 18:47

True but there has to be a level of sexual chemistry in a relationship, and I don’t feel I would have this with this man.

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That is true but I can't understand how you can know that from a photo. I don't think I've ever felt attracted to someone based on a photo. I guess everyone is different but I would think chemistry can only happen when eye contact is made and conversation begins to flow. I've never done OLD and it's probably just as well. I am out of touch but is speed dating still a thing? I think a few minutes chatting would be much easier than trying to make judgments based on a photo. I know in the past I've felt attracted to people that I met in person that were not conventionally attractive and i probably wouldn't have given a second look in a photo.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 20/02/2026 19:48

I once cancelled a long booked date with a bloke because I found out he had a partial denture.

And also ghosted a man because I found out he was a lorry driver.

I felt guilty but just... had to.

Terfarina · 20/02/2026 19:46

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

leave it - there's no point in further dialogue

MilanoCortina2026 · 20/02/2026 19:46

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

Block him now Muffin.

Ferrissia3 · 20/02/2026 19:45

Butterytoastandtea · 20/02/2026 12:50

To be clear - if it wasn't blindingly obvious from the strand in this conversation to which I was responding, the "she" in question is the hypothetical "she" in the scenario put forward by the previous poster who said people wouldn't judge a woman a gold digger if her date had initially claimed to be extremely wealthy and then revealed he was not. I was saying that person in this hypothetical situation would be a gold digger in my eyes. The poster pointed out that the potential partner had been a liar, but to that I countered that almost every woman would have been able to overlook that in a reverse situation (pretended to be poor, revealed himself to actually be wealthy)

So, you can see I was not calling you a goldigger

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I think using a metaphor might be a step too far for some folks on this thread. For me, this conversation has been a really interesting demonstration of correlation between certain traits - it's been quite the eye opener!

Rightsraptor · 20/02/2026 19:38

I was really shocked when I was doing OLD how many men lied about everything (their height, for instance) and sent pics of someone who was either himself 20 years previously or his son.

Tell him you've changed your mind & don't feel guilty.

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:35

He’s just messaged again saying “hope you find the man you are looking for” I don’t know whether to reply or leave it.

OP posts:
Charltonstrek · 20/02/2026 19:31

Meet then judge

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 19:25

chipsticksmammy · 20/02/2026 19:17

I can’t explain it but those type of earrings and piercings always look totally manky to me.

I know they are not but my brain just think they look filthy.

Earrings of any type on a guy is a no for me.

No idea why.

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Me too! I can’t explain it either.

OP posts:
CompanyOfThieves · 20/02/2026 19:23

RampantIvy · 20/02/2026 19:07

Did you meet him via OLD?

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No, it was an ad in a paper, many years ago. No photos involved!

chipsticksmammy · 20/02/2026 19:17

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 16:39

Well it’s like this, but I don’t like it.

Show quote history

I can’t explain it but those type of earrings and piercings always look totally manky to me.

I know they are not but my brain just think they look filthy.

Earrings of any type on a guy is a no for me.

No idea why.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/02/2026 19:10

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 09:25

He’s just replied saying
“oh the whiskers put you off?”
saying whiskers is making me cringe anyway!

I’d tell him that I was pognophobic.

greengreenpink · 20/02/2026 19:09

Some of the replies on this are insane and just designed to be provoactive.

What makes a relationship different from a friendship is sex. Sex is about attraction. A big part of attraction is about what someone looks like. If you are going to say that's shallow then all sexual attraction is shallow.

If you found someone repulsive physically then it wouldn't matter how sparkling their conversation is. Anyone's individual turn offs are perfectly fine no matter what they are. It's the one area in life where how you feel about it is always going to be your decision and doesn't need to be reasonable or logical.

As an adult you know yourself and you know what bothers you and what wouldn't. @chocolatemuffin75 knew this guy wasn't for her so she'd be wasting time hers and his going to see him. She did the right thing.

RampantIvy · 20/02/2026 19:07

CompanyOfThieves · 20/02/2026 17:47

I had a date with a man with stubble, earring, rugby shirt and trainers 🤑

I knew from the off he wasn't my type due to all these things.

We've been together now for 35 years.

Did you meet him via OLD?

SheilaFentiman · 20/02/2026 19:01

I’m going to repost what I posted earlier - it is not a positive for Mr Hoop to go on a date with someone who doesn’t want to be on that date. It’s a waste of his time too, when he could be chatting to a woman who is attracted to him. Or meeting his mates for a pint, or watching a film, or whatever he finds enjoyable.

The goal of OLD is not to go on as many dates as possible with people who aren’t keen to be there. It’s surely better to go on fewer dates, each of which at least start with a decent probability of success (however you define that - a connection, a second date, a shag, a relationship)

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