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Original poster

Omg what do I do now?

620 replies

chocolatemuffin75 · 19/02/2026 22:04

I’ve been chatting to someone online for the past week, we have arranged to meet tomorrow, he’s just informed me he’s uploaded another photo of himself, as his others were not very clear and quite far away, my god he’s awful, I know looks aren’t everything but I just can’t meet him, Why couldn’t he have posted this one in the first place! He just looks so scruffy with a stubbly beard which I hate, his other photos are obviously older. How do I tell him I don’t wish to meet now? I feel a right cow but I just can’t meet him.

OP posts:
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14
MySweetGeorgina · 20/02/2026 14:46

Even if it wax a shitty pic to “test” you , who wants to be tested anyway?

Life is not a Dharman Skit

bafta16 · 20/02/2026 14:42

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:32

No it’s definitely him, he just looks older.

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I mean perhaps he is sending an unflattering pic to test you.

MySweetGeorgina · 20/02/2026 14:39

Women are so funny to tie themselves up in knots about things like this and wanting to protect the man’s feelings…

when men in that situation would have ZERO compunction about dropping out if they did not fancy a woman

honestly, we are so conditioned to put men’s’ feelings above our own that it is ridiculous really

you don’t owe this bloke anything

he’s grown whiskers? Not your thing? Don’t even think about it.

this thread is like a show-and-tell about the patriarchy dictating that women must put men’s feelings above their own

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:37

dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 14:35

You know how on parking threads, people love a drawing? I think we need a quick pen-portrait please 😁

I’m not sure how to do it 😀

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 20/02/2026 14:35

You know how on parking threads, people love a drawing? I think we need a quick pen-portrait please 😁

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:32

bafta16 · 20/02/2026 14:31

Perhaps he is really smart. He has sent it on purpose to trick you?

No it’s definitely him, he just looks older.

OP posts:
Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:31

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2026 14:30

Arrrrrrrrrrrre you sure?! 😆

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🤣🤣

OP posts:
bafta16 · 20/02/2026 14:31

Perhaps he is really smart. He has sent it on purpose to trick you?

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

Depends does he say whiskers?

OP posts:
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2026 14:30

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:27

I can assure you he didn’t look like this 😂

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Arrrrrrrrrrrre you sure?! 😆

Original poster
chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 14:27

BloominNora · 20/02/2026 13:56

Nowt wrong with the pirate look 😉

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I can assure you he didn’t look like this 😂

OP posts:
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2026 14:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

😂

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2026 14:24

NewZebra · 20/02/2026 14:11

Some absolutely batshit replies 😂 the op doesn’t fancy him, it’s that simple. That doesn’t make her shallow or a gold digger or anything else she’s been accused of being on here.

This.

Also, there's nothing wrong with having a physical preference! We all do.

I have known some take it a BIT far however... I had a friend (when I was about 19) who had a boyfriend, and she and he set me up on a blind date with one of his mates. This blind date saw me across the bar and walked off.

My friend's boyfriend came over to me and said 'he's gone, he thinks you're too fat sorry.' 😢

I mean, like WOW! 😂 I'm 5 ft 4ish and was a size 12 (size 8-10 in today's sizings,) and weighed 9 stone 5. Too fat!???!!! No wonder so many women end up with eating disorders when they're called fat at 9 stone 5, and a size 12 (size 8-10 today!)

So he had a preference for thinner chicks. He could have been a bit kinder though, and so could my friend's boyfriend! (He and my friend broke up about 6 months later...)

Dimpledaisies · 20/02/2026 14:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 20/02/2026 14:18

Oh this has made me laugh sorry @chocolatemuffin75 'sorry mate you're a bit less good looking than I'd hoped when I saw you close up!' 😂

Seriously, you have every right to pull out and not see this man. Sounds like you weren't compatible anyway.

Better luck next time! 😘

NewZebra · 20/02/2026 14:11

Some absolutely batshit replies 😂 the op doesn’t fancy him, it’s that simple. That doesn’t make her shallow or a gold digger or anything else she’s been accused of being on here.

BloominNora · 20/02/2026 14:05

Personal taste is a weird thing - personally I don't think there are many men that do not look infinitely better with a bit of stubble - clean shaven puts me off more.

It would have been shallow for @chocolatemuffin75 to cancel the date based on his looks, if the conversation had been brilliant and they had been getting on really well, but given that the conversation wasn't there then 💁

But it is also important to not confuse having standards with having a preference - it is not a 'standard' to not like beards or earings it is a preference and that can change when you get to know people if the chemistry is there!

BloominNora · 20/02/2026 13:56

user1476613140 · 20/02/2026 10:48

It's not everyone that's into the pirate look. Fair do's.

Nowt wrong with the pirate look 😉

Omg what do I do now?
Zippidydoodah · 20/02/2026 13:54

chocolatemuffin75 · 19/02/2026 22:15

No he’s just messaged saying I might not recognise him as he’s grown some whiskers.

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🙊🙊
🤣🤣

AquaFurball · 20/02/2026 13:43

SpaceRaccoon · 20/02/2026 13:15

Okay so for next time - get AI to change a current picture of you to be several stone heavier and several years older, and make your hair grey, and then send it with "here's the latest one", then you won't have to dump anyone.

Awful lot of work when saying 'No, I don't want to meet anymore' takes less than 2 seconds.

Orange3344 · 20/02/2026 13:43

This exact thing happened to me during covid, he showed up on the first date like a yeti 😂 he was using old pictures. He ended up being lovely in person and I felt comfortable enough to joke/recommended that he needed a shave and haircut, and he went and did it! It didnt work out but not because of the hair/beard 😂 no regrets meeting him

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 20/02/2026 13:40

Emonade · 20/02/2026 12:54

Because of an earring? It screams toxic masculinity if a man cant be attractive to a woman cos he wears an earring

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She’s not physically attracted to him.

He was deceitful about his photos.

I can find a man for you on a dating app, then you can date him. How’s that? You don’t need to be attracted to him and you are fine with him deliberately posting old photos so there shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Have you ever been on a dating app and swiped left? Have you ever had a man approach you in a bar and try to start a flirty conversation which you shut down? Have you ever avoided someone because you’ve been told they like you? Exactly the same thing is going on here.

AquaFurball · 20/02/2026 13:40

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 10:35

oh the whiskers put you off?
I haven’t replied.

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Whiskers would make me cringe too. Regardless of wheather he shaved now or not, you don't owe him a date.

All these people calling you shallow can date him.

FWIW I have OLD guys with beards because we had great conversations and on the first meeting (after my saying I wasn't a fan of beards) every single one of them had shaved. A couple left a light, tidy stubble.

SpaceRaccoon · 20/02/2026 13:37

chocolatemuffin75 · 20/02/2026 13:22

Not my style though.

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Surely easier than having to send the dumping message - get them to ghost you.

Sodthesystem · 20/02/2026 13:31

This threads filled with weirdos.

It's like they didn't get the memo that women are allowed to say no to dates with men they don't find attractive.

I recon many people are stuck telling themselves the lie that they didn't settle for their partner so it pisses them off to see someone else have standards and boundaries.

'Oh I'll grow to fancy him' HA! Hahaha no.

That, and a lot of the posters are disgruntled men. Like no hon, she's not a gold digger, she just thinks he looks rough as a badgers ass and guess what? Times are changing and women are raising their standards. Good.

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