Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

DH says cat needs to show more gratitude

483 replies

UngratefulFeline · 06/06/2025 08:52

I’ve been away for a few days and DH managed the kids and the dog just fine.

He’s upset with our cat though and says he made a real effort to bond with him by giving him treats, protecting him when our dog had the zoomies and making sure his bedding was fluffed.

DH said the cat gave nothing back, blanked him and even swatted at DH when he tried to pet him.

DH wants to know why the cat doesn’t show any gratitude. I explained to DH very carefully that the reason the cat doesn’t show any gratitude is because it is a cat.

DH says that is illogical and there must be a real reason and “it’s a cat” doesn’t cut the mustard.

YABU- Deeper reason why cat won’t show gratitude
YANBU- it’s a cat.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
neilyoungismyhero · 08/06/2025 23:31

Blackdow · 06/06/2025 08:55

I don’t know how you kept a straight face. He didn’t seriously say that?
It’s actually a little worrying about how that extends… does he expect the children to show gratitude for simply being given a bed for the night? It’s just a scary side of his personality really; I’d be worried what he’d expect from the kids if he actually has to you know, do things for his kids. Especially when they’re older. He’ll be one of those parents who attach strings to everything and eventually, your children will be teens and adults and won’t want to accept a dinner invite because they’ll be expected to fall over themselves to thank him. Bit yucky really, and a very strange form of dominance.

Good heavens

Panterusblackish · 08/06/2025 17:36

Tell your husband from me that he is a daft bugger 😂

CiaoMeow · 08/06/2025 17:33

He's expecting hell to freeze over. Ain't gonna happen!😂

Newname71 · 08/06/2025 16:39

UngratefulFeline · 06/06/2025 09:10

He doesn’t understand this at all. He treats the cat like a dog and it doesn’t work then DH feels rejected.

Show quote history

Our cat thinks he is a dog. Comes when called,chases his tail and plays fetch!
He absolutely adores DS1, whose 18 and the dog, he won’t give me or DH the time of day.
Cats are arseholes!

buffyandspikeandfaith · 08/06/2025 16:38

crankycurmudgeon · 08/06/2025 16:35

I don't really understand why people have cats, precisely because every cat I've ever encountered has been cold and misanthropic. But then again I wouldn't expect a cat to be anything other than that, so expecting it to show gratitude is kind of hilarious.

My dad was the same, he’s a dog person but he’s got this weird loving relationship with my cat now which entertains me so much
“I don’t really understand cats” he says while stroking my cat “also I don’t really like them” (5 seconds later “oh my big baby you like your little belly rubs don’t you”)
mine is very affectionate though and will play fetch

crankycurmudgeon · 08/06/2025 16:35

I don't really understand why people have cats, precisely because every cat I've ever encountered has been cold and misanthropic. But then again I wouldn't expect a cat to be anything other than that, so expecting it to show gratitude is kind of hilarious.

Alwaysalert · 08/06/2025 16:33

HaHaHa

LetMeGoogleThat · 08/06/2025 16:26

Dogs think they're human, cats think they're God.

YANBU - It's a cat.

InterestedDad37 · 08/06/2025 16:00

😸 - thank you, my liege 😀

buffyandspikeandfaith · 08/06/2025 15:46

raspberrieswithchocolate · 08/06/2025 15:38

Cats are REALLY loving.

This has been my experience too @Bloozie .
I haven't had cats in years but mine were very cuddly, one used to come along on walks, he didn’t want to be left out of anything.

@buffyandspikeandfaith your photos of your little black cat gazing adoringly up at you made me go awww😍

He’s passed now, but he was an affectionate noisy tiny weirdo. He thought it was funny to send me a new cat, an affectionate silent huge weirdo void Confused

raspberrieswithchocolate · 08/06/2025 15:38

Cats are REALLY loving.

This has been my experience too @Bloozie .
I haven't had cats in years but mine were very cuddly, one used to come along on walks, he didn’t want to be left out of anything.

@buffyandspikeandfaith your photos of your little black cat gazing adoringly up at you made me go awww😍

Bloozie · 08/06/2025 15:27

buffyandspikeandfaith · 08/06/2025 14:32

Some do love individuals
this little man would have gone to the ends of the earth for me

Show quote history

I have three cats. One adores me, one adores my son, the third adores everyone. When I come home from a day out all three come running to say hi and have a fuss.

Cats are REALLY loving.

Bloozie · 08/06/2025 15:26

I voted YABU but I think you both are. No animal shows gratitude - cat or dog. That's us anthropomorphising them.

But cats can be every bit as affectionate and loyal as dogs, so the "it's a cat" response doesn't cut any mustard with me either.

buffyandspikeandfaith · 08/06/2025 14:32

madmeg1952 · 08/06/2025 00:26

I've had cats all of my 73 years. They only love food! Not people. If they sit on your lap they are keeping warm. If they purr it's an automatic response to feeling okay - they would purr at anyone. If the household next door gives them better/more food they will happily move in there.

Some do love individuals
this little man would have gone to the ends of the earth for me

DH says cat needs to show more gratitude
DH says cat needs to show more gratitude
THEDEACON · 08/06/2025 12:16

Ted27 · 06/06/2025 08:58

DH needs to learn where his place in the pecking order is

This 100%

ObtuseMoose · 08/06/2025 11:48

There's a thread about this thread on Threads!

RavenhairedRachel · 08/06/2025 09:53

Dogs have owners .Cats have servants.

viques · 08/06/2025 09:01

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 07/06/2025 18:17

One currently sat on me the other over in that camper van

I would ask where you got the camper van because it is ultra cool, but I know if I bought it it would be like the beds, the cardboard scratcher, the mountain of alternative cat food in tins and pouches ( donated to the cat rescue place) , the freezer drawer of expensive frozen food he suddenly decided he didn’t like ( sold on) .. and all the other little gifts he has pointedly turned down.

He really only likes small light tennis balls to chase. And his Mr Snowman dreamy dispenser.

MiloMinderbinder · 08/06/2025 03:53

My cat thinks I’m his mum, he has done that for eighteen years. So close, so sweet. When we were younger, he would come running to meet me when I returned from work. He clearly recognised the sound of my bicycle, car or footsteps. The cat for your needy husband?

SandyY2K · 08/06/2025 00:58

Every cat has it's own personality. I foster cats and they are all so different.

Like a pp, I don't know how you managed to keep a straight face when he was talking. Cats expect feeding, love and their cuteness is what you get in return.

JustSawJohnny · 08/06/2025 00:42

It's all well and good having a dog following you around like you're God, leaping about with excitement on your return and hanging on your every word - they're hard wired to do that - but when a cat chooses you it's something else.

Why? Because cats are dicks.

Gorgeous, sassy, demanding, mardy little twats with terrible attitudes but who really love you when they love you and they smell SO GOOD!

DH is not the chosen one.

No slow blinks for him.

And no sniffs.

nomas · 08/06/2025 00:32

madmeg1952 · 08/06/2025 00:26

I've had cats all of my 73 years. They only love food! Not people. If they sit on your lap they are keeping warm. If they purr it's an automatic response to feeling okay - they would purr at anyone. If the household next door gives them better/more food they will happily move in there.

I think this view is totally disproved by the countless videos on YouTube of cats who totally adore their human subjects.

madmeg1952 · 08/06/2025 00:26

I've had cats all of my 73 years. They only love food! Not people. If they sit on your lap they are keeping warm. If they purr it's an automatic response to feeling okay - they would purr at anyone. If the household next door gives them better/more food they will happily move in there.

HevenlyMeS · 07/06/2025 22:23

Hopefully you mean the male partner yes?

kittenkipping · 07/06/2025 22:19

Ok dh is mad. But I get it. I too would want this cat to love me. Its rejection would hurt. I’d want to find a reason for my failing. I want that cat to love me , and I don’t live with it. Perhaps your dh unreasonable reasoning sits in desperation, denial and deflection. Sometimes it’s hard to hear “he’s just not that into you”.

Swipe left for the next trending thread