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Original poster

Funniest thing said by a soon-to-be mother about the reality of life with children?

229 replies

emkana · 26/04/2008 22:37

"I will have a two-way baby monitor so that when my newborn wakes up I will calm him down with my voice while remaining downstairs in the living room"

OP posts:
llareggub · 26/04/2008 23:43

My friend is a teacher and has not got any children yet. I was telling her about an 18 year old pregnant woman I'd met, whose baby is due in August. I told my teacher friend that she'd sensibly decided to defer her university place for a year.

Teacher friend was horrified and started telling me how pregnant girl should go to university in the September, just 2-4 weeks after giving birth.

I suspect she will remember her words and cringe when she starts her own family.

edam · 26/04/2008 23:35

lol Sobernow, that's a new one on me.

Youcannotbeserious · 26/04/2008 23:35

Thing is, it's funny, but can have really serious consequences.... A friend of mine had this totally idealistic view of motherhood (only use reusable nappies, never watch TV, only breast feed, would not smell baby's bottom to check for dirty nappies) and she ended up with really serious PND because the reality was so far removed from the dream!!!

I don't have any such 'dreams' as I've had two DSDs for the last 10 years..... I still remember vividly the first time my DSD2 spat out a sweet she didn't like - as I pondered what to do with the icky mess now in my hand, I did the only sensible thing a parent (or responsible adult, in my case!) can do: I ate it myself!!!

I really am planning to go back to work when my new baby is 3MO old though....... You can take bets on how long that will last!!!!!!

Flibbertyjibbet · 26/04/2008 23:33

Before my 1st one:

'I won't be wasting money on all that Thomas/Barbie branded stuff'

Before my 2nd one:

'Hard work having 2 with a short gap? Why, I'll just put both of them down for naps at the same time'

Psychomum5 · 26/04/2008 23:32

"tantrums in children are down to slack discipline.......I will never have a child who tantrums as I have read a book on positive discipline"

Sobernow · 26/04/2008 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LivingLaVidaLurker · 26/04/2008 23:28

My friend in the last couple of weeks of pregnancy said, "I'm sure I'll sleep more when the baby arrives. I'll sleep when he sleeps!"

Hee hee.

stirlingmum · 26/04/2008 23:21

The young lady in the next bed to me in hospital ...
"I can't breastfeed, I missed that week at ante-natal class"!!

undervalued · 26/04/2008 23:20

I remeber saying, while pregnant, " It will be so good to sleep on my stomach again" - I even sighed after.
Potpourri, I said all those too...

theITgirl · 26/04/2008 23:18

Fairymum - do we know the same woman, as I hae also heard the OU degree while on Maternity Leave

LaComtesse · 26/04/2008 23:17

I will bf and use Terry nappies . Three months on the first one and one failed experiment on the second.

PotPourri · 26/04/2008 23:08

'I'll never reply to my toddler when asking why for the 25th time that minute - 'because it just is''

'I'm hoping to have a waterbirth, with no pain relief. Positive thinking will help me deal with the pain'

'I think people just aren't trying if they don't manage to breastfeed'

'my children will never watch TV'

'I can't wait to get a 'holiday' from work, and get the chance to do all those hobbies I never had time for'

FairyMum · 26/04/2008 23:04

I will do an open university degree while at home on mat leave

theUrbanNixie · 26/04/2008 23:01

"My baby will never drink squash/formula milk/coke/Ribena/its own urine/delete as applicable."

"Babies sleep 16 hours a day, right? So that leaves 8 hours which is what you'd do as a normal days work anyway." ()

mymama · 26/04/2008 22:57

"I can't wait until they are born so that I can get some decent sleep".

....said by best friend whilst heavily pregnant with twins and suffering with backache.

trefusis · 26/04/2008 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MirandaG · 26/04/2008 22:55

Me: 'Three bibs will be fine' Baby had reflux. Make that thirty three.

bossybritches · 26/04/2008 22:55

"My child will sleep through-you just have to be firm"

From my "Things I always said I'd do as A Mother ....& then I had kids" Book -Volume 3.

cheesesarnie · 26/04/2008 22:54

"i'll never say no to my child"

never say never more like

lovecat · 26/04/2008 22:53

"My child isn't even going to know what MacDonalds is"

Hah!

lackaDAISYcal · 26/04/2008 22:53

"Why do couples with children always complain about their lack of a sex life?........you have to make the time and effort to connect with each other"

yes yes, we all know the principle, but the reality, as he is now finding out, is very very different!

bluenosesaint · 26/04/2008 22:52

"I won't ever spit on a tissue and wipe my childs face ..."

Oh wait ...that was me

derah · 26/04/2008 22:51

"My child won't watch any tv until she's 2"

RIELOVESBACARDI · 26/04/2008 22:50

just wait till they are in their teens

DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe · 26/04/2008 22:50

A friend of mine told me she had said (pre-children)... "My children won't be watching television"

this was as her daughter was singing 'balamory' to me

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